


This Time

by TheClingtons



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Feels, F/M, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-10-17 15:03:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 47,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17562740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheClingtons/pseuds/TheClingtons
Summary: "How do you forgive?"Hillary was starting to make a name for herself in the world of politics without her husband. Bill, on the other hand, was starting to pick up his life after his Presidency by working on his foundation. Separated by scandal and circumstances, they never had a chance to fix their marriage.After three years of living separately, Hillary received a call prompting her to rescue her estranged husband in a far-flung place. Forced to be together, Hillary and Bill faced their own demons to save what was left in their marriage. Would they make it work this time?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No Beta - please forgive my flaws.

**2003, Himachal Pradesh, India, 9:00 PM - India Time**

Himachal Pradesh was located in northern Indian state in the Himalayas. It was home to scenic mountain towns. It was popularly known for trekking and mountain climbing. The locals thrived in farming. With the place being secluded, Himachal Pradesh was one of the poverty-stricken places in India. But the Clinton Foundation targeted to work on that town as they see strong potential in the agricultural sector. They could help the state to get out of poverty.

Bill, after his Presidency, worked to build his foundation. He did that so he could continue his humanitarian projects and projects he never completed because of politics. He specifically chose the project in Himachal Pradesh because there was so much to work on that place but so much potential too. That among his other personal reasons why he wanted to be away from America as possible.

He stayed in Himachal Pradesh for over three years before he caught something. He noticed the decline of his energy and his eyes were becoming unusually hot. He thought it was out of stress and the humidity of the place but then he succumbed to fever and chills. Doctor Burman, the village doctor, diagnosed it as flu but his fever lasted over three days and he was getting worried that it might be more than common flu.

“His body temperature reads 42°F,” Doctor Burman announced while looking at the glass mercury thermometer that he used to check Bill’s body temperature. He looked at the shadow that was playing on Bill's face created by the gas lamp nearby. Doctor Burman also noticed the inflammation of his lymph nodes below his jaw.

“I am worried that we do not have sufficient medical equipment here and he could die if we do not get him out.” Doctor Burman said almost in a whisper making sure that Bill wouldn’t hear him. He turned to look at Bill’s assistant Doug Marshall who was standing a few meters away from him. Doug’s arms crossed against his chest as if he was comforting himself upon hearing that his boss might die.

“He…” Doug started, his throat felt raw and dry. He worked tirelessly for the past few hours trying to take care of the foundation’s work while Bill was sick. He wasn’t getting enough sleep for the past few days that his body was screaming for rest but there was so much work to be done. Bill’s mission wasn’t over and he needed to make sure to finish it. But there was also something bothering him that night.

“There's something else, he said that he couldn’t see earlier. I’m worried.”

Doctor Burman turned his head back to Bill and took out the little flashlight in his pocket. He sat on the edge of Bill’s bed, then reached towards Bill’s eyelid and gently pushed it back. He flashed the light on Bill’s eye then he did the same with the other.

The lines of Doctor Burman’s forehead creased. _Is Bill going blind?_ He thought.

“When did he say that couldn’t see?” He asked Doug.

“He briefly mentioned to me to turn the gas lamp but it was already lit… I’m worried…”

“Did you call for help in America?” Doctor Burman asked firmly.

“Yes,” Doug responded.

“I’m afraid that if Bill survived this fever, he might be blind but I couldn’t know for sure what he got. The longer he stays here the more dangerous it is for him.”

Doug shifted on his stand.

“You better call and reiterate this situation to them and tell them to get him out of here while we have time.” Doctor Burman said.

======

**2003, New York, New York, Clinton Headquarters, 11:00 AM - Eastern Time**

There was a cacophony of laughter and jest inside the war room of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton’s office in New York. It was a sunny day for all of them. She was in a good mood as her staff celebrates the rise of her satisfaction rating and her popularity.

She leaned back against the table and propped her arms to support her weight - a smile played on her lips as she listened to her staff read an article about Hillary’s rating.

In the corner of her eyes, she saw Huma walked-in inconspicuously as if she did not want to disturb the current mood of the team.

“Hill --” Huma said as she reached Hillary. Hillary turned to her smiling but Huma kept her face straight. She leaned a little to whisper to her, “It’s Marshall.”

Hillary’s face suddenly dropped. She could smell a situation or problem just by looking at Huma’s face. Given the fact that it involved Marshall, she knew the problem that Huma would tell her involved with Bill’s team in India.

“What about it?” She asked unemotionally.

“He called earlier...Bill’s sick… He is badly sick.”

=====

**1999, Washington DC, White House - Afternoon**

“Mr. President this is to address the confusion in people’s mind when the first lady refers to the new house as ‘New York as my house’ indicating her plans to make it as her primary residence. I wonder if you could tell us how much time the two of you would be a part in the coming year and how do you feel about this arrangement?”

Bill kept a straight face. He fished the ballpen inside his chest pocket to correct something on the paper that was given to him by his adviser.

He did not immediately answer but he heard the question - about Hillary's home in New York.

 _Oh, yes, her home in New York. She deliberately referred to it as her home. He couldn't blame her, after all, she needs to be there because she is going to run as a Senator and she needs to be away from him as possible. He couldn't blame her about that either,_ he thought.

“First of all, I am happy for her…” He said looking at the journalist who asked him.

He hated how these journalists kept on invading their privacy, but it was inevitable. People were speculating that Hillary would divorce him when his term as President was over. The radical feminists' supporters of Hillary and those very close of her wanted her to divorce him because they thought she could do so much more without him, and he did not deserve her.

He was afraid about that too but he left it to her hands to make that decision, besides, he was the one who fucked up. He had a little-say to the fate of their marriage.

######

**2003, New York, Clinton Headquarters, 11:00 AM - Eastern Time**

“It’s dangerous for her to be in India. Why don't we get someone to get the President out of the place instead of imposing risk by sending her there too?” Her aide asked.

Hillary was barely listening to the argument of her staffs. A bunch of them didn't want her to fly to India to get her estranged husband. It was risky they say and she knew that too. While she understood that they were just being careful, she believed that most of their decision were driven by their animosity towards Bill. It was clouding their decision on the matter, but Hillary remained unbiased.

People often wondered why she hasn't filed for divorce yet. After the humiliation she went through, she deserved to free herself from their marriage - live the life she wanted and make a name for herself without the shadow of her husband looming over her.

If she filed for divorce she knew that Bill wouldn't stop her. But she just couldn't do it because the truth was - she still loved him.

She was hurt but she never stopped loving him.

She wanted to work on their reconciliation but when she was elected as Senator there was no time at all. Plus, it did not help that Bill chose to do a project in India.

The distance that Bill unnecessarily put between them and the constant attention that New York demanded of her - somewhat dented their relationship too.

There was a time that she wanted to reach out to him - to ask him how he was but her pride made her stood her ground. She would not cave in. If he thought that Hillary would come begging for him to return to her, he would be waiting for a lifetime. If he did not want to fix their marriage, neither did she.

Three years since the last time they talked and she did not completely forgive him. But being his wife, she had an obligation to him.

“I'll go to India,” she announced breaking the argument between her staffs. They all looked at her as if she lost her mind.

“Let's start packing up, and let's get Bill's team so we can release a statement.” She instructed. She stood up from her seat ready to move.

“When are you flying?” Someone asked.

“I will be flying tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it. I don't want to write so soon because it means commitment but I miss writing. :)  
> Lol, I am so conscious of this story because I don't know if I can justify it. Let me know what you think. <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta. Read at your own risk. ;)

**2003, Chappaqua, New York, 5:00 PM - Eastern time**

“I think it's not wise for you to go to India, Hillary.” John Podesta commented his arms crossed against his chest. He stood at the far corner of the room - away from Huma and Hillary who were going through the details of her activities that she needed to reschedule.

Hillary was half listening to John because her flight going to India was at nine o’clock in the evening and there were a lot of meetings and activities to take care of.

“Call Andrew and just give him the draft of my proposal. I told him that the communication will be a challenge, therefore any revision needs to be forwarded to you.” She instructed Huma. Huma nodded in return jotting something on the paper.

Huma looked up at her after then asked: “Are you sure you don’t want me to come?” Hillary turned her eyes from the paper that Huma was holding just in time that John went to stand behind her. Hillary looked at them both with appreciation in her eyes for their loyalty to her and her family. John or Huma usually join her if she needed to go to abroad - maybe it be personal or related to work.

“I need you both to be here.” Hillary said touching Huma’s arm. “I will only be taking Bill back then we’ll return immediately. I don’t expect to stay there in India. But I want you to be my eyes and ears here in New York. There’s no one I trust more than you two.”

John was about to respond but Hillary interrupted him and turned around to finish packing. “I know that you don’t agree with the idea of me going there in India and you suggest someone else to take Bill back. But what would people think of me? What would Chelsea think of me?”

Michael Goodman - lead of her security team - arrived inside the room. “Mrs. Clinton, the unit is ready.”

Hillary nodded and continued packing. “I’ll just finish and we'll go.”

She nodded to the aide who was helping her pack. John went to stand next to her. “Chelsea would think that you are an amazing mother and wife.”

Huma nodded in agreement with John. “We’ll take care of things here while you are away, Hill.”

Hillary smiled at them. “I’ll see you three weeks from now.”

#####

**1998, Israel Airspace, December - Night Time**

Hillary was looking outside the window from her seat in air force one when the pilot told them that they are approaching the Israel airspace. She and Bill flew to Israel to visit the grave site of former Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin.

Before they on-boarded the plane she and Bill had a short argument in the Presidential state car. Their argument started when they were discussing the situation of the House resolution about his impeachment trial. They usually had those kind of heated discussion but their discussion about the impeachment that night was emotionally charged. Hillary quieted when she realized that their discussion were getting intense and both of them were getting angry.

She turned to look outside the car as they drove all the way to the airport tarmac, but when the car pulled up she heard Bill ask: Where is your ring?

Hillary looked down at her empty fingers in horror then up to Bill's disappointed eyes. She was ready to explain why she did not wear her wedding ring. She did not wear it not to imply something, but simply because she choose to forgo any accessories since they have no agenda upon arriving in Israel at night.

“Uh…” Hillary started but before she could even explain why she wasn't wearing her wedding ring, the door beside Bill was opened by the secret service agent and he was already alighting the car.

They didn't have a chance to speak even when they walked side by side to climb the aircraft steps. She saw the bunching of Bill's jaw and clenched fist - understanding that he was angry. A part of her wanted to explain, but then she thought about what he had done to her and that made her disregard the notion of explaining to him. Her feeling of guilt was replaced by seethe. _How could he be angry with her for not wearing her wedding ring, when he did worse than that?_

She felt her eyes stinging walking beside Bill - remembering how he lied and humiliated her, and how their marriage was going down the drain. She hurriedly climbed the last few steps of the boarding ramp leaving him behind just as her tears escaped her eyes.

#####

**2003, Chandigarh, International Airport, India - 11:00 AM - India Time**

Hillary and her team arrived in India the next day. The flight took twenty nine hours. She wore dark green khaki shirt and tan pants - the one that she wore when she and Bill went to Botswana. She liked the khaki pair because it was comfortable to move around.

She yawned upon disembarking. She was exhausted because she was not able to sleep well in the airplane. But she straightened upon seeing Bill’s team and met the specialist doctor that they brought from Washington.

“Senator, this is Doctor Burke. He would be the one to take a look at the President until we return to New York.”

Hillary assessed the Doctor. Doctor Martin Burke looked like a young Al Pacino with dark hair, straight nose, dark eyes, and medium built. He smiled at her as she extended her hand to shake his. “I am glad that you joined us.” She told him.

He smiled and a small dimple appeared on his cheek, “It's an honor to be the one to look after the President, Senator.”

She turned to the lead of her security team to brief them about their journey to Hamirpur where Bill was temporarily residing.

“Senator, it will take us approximately six hours to reach Hamirpur so we will be taking a chopper to drop us to the nearest accessible village which is at Kullu. This will cut down our travel time to four hours assuming that it doesn't rain.”

Hillary dreaded the fact that they needed another four hours to travel. She was tired and hungry, but there was no time for her to consider her emotions. She needed to get Bill out of the country.

“What's the chances of raining?” She asked already moving.

“Forty percent according to the reports.” Michael responded.

Hillary nodded hoping that they arrive at Bill's location without the hassle of rain. “Let's get going.”

#####

**2003, Hamirpur Village, Himachal Pradesh, India - 4:00 PM - India Time**

“Thirty nine Fahrenheit,” Doctor Burman announced particularly to no one. Bill's temperature improved but he wasn't coherent in responding to his instructions. Bill was usually groggy from the medicine that he gave. He believed that Bill did not know the extent of his sickness or that the darkness he was seeing was from the fact that he was blind. Doctor Burman hoped that his blindness was temporary.

Doctor Burman wondered if Bill got it from his high fever, mosquito-borne disease, or from the vaccines that he took when they visited another remote village. It was all too baffling, but hardly surprising as diseases such as what Bill got spread in remote places in India.

Doctor Burman went to the nearby working table to jot down his observation. It was all that he could give to the doctors who would be looking after Bill's case. He just finished documenting when he heard him spoke.

“Wa… Wa… Water,” Bill whispered, his voice hoarse.

Doctor Burman turned his head to him and then immediately went to fetch a water. He sat on the edge of the bed, put his hand at the back of Bill's head and helped him drink. He heard the clang of Bill's teeth against the glass before he felt him started to drink.

Bill's eyes were slightly open and Doctor Burman felt dejected to tell him his condition. Bill turned his head when he had enough water and then he laid his head back again on the pillow and succumbed to sleep again.

***

**2003, Hamirpur Village, Himachal Pradesh, India - 5:00 PM - India Time**

Hillary's team arrived at Hamirpur after five hours. They got delayed when they had to take another way when they found that the bridge they need to cross was not accessible. It was bumpy and uncomfortable ride but Hillary did not care, she just wanted to get Bill out.

She wasn't exactly sure what to expect when she arrived at Hamirpur. She met Doug at the foot of the camp too eager to meet them.

“Mrs. Clinton!” He greeted.

“Marshall,” she greeted back giving him a brief embrace. She noticed that Doug lost a significant amount of weight and got tanned from the last time that she saw him.

Doug immediately led the way to take her where Bill was resting. He gave her information about his condition as they walk.

“Doctor Burman wasn't exactly sure what Bill got, but his high temperature lasted for few days…”

Hillary listened but she was already scanning the area to get a glimpse of where Bill was confined. Admittedly, besides being worried about his condition, she felt a knot in her stomach wondering how their meeting after three years would be like. When Bill left for India he said it so casually like as if he was going to a nearby State. There was no warmth, no “I will miss you” or “When will you be back?” It was a bland, silent: “I will see you soon.”

The scandal and their work got in the way of their relationship. It created an ocean between them and both of them were too caught up on their own work and licking their own wounds that they were not able to fix the distance between them.

She was still scanning the area and hoping to see Bill not as helpless as Doug described. But something grappled in her heart that made her stop when he dropped the news:

“Senator ... there’s something else … I'm afraid that the President can't see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the response!  
> I got excited writing this chapter with your enthusiasm.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - read at your own risk. :)

“Is that confirmed?” Hillary asked worriedly.   
  
Doug shifted on his stand. “We cannot know for sure. He’s not yet awake. He just mumbled to light up the gas lamp but it was already lit.”   
  
Hillary nodded keeping her face straight. She followed Doug. Her lack of response wasn’t because she did not believe Doug or she was downplaying the chances that Bill might be blind - she just learned not to react immediately and only when she was facing the facts.   
  
But that was not to say that she could shake the fear that Bill might be - in fact - blind.    
  
Bill and Hillary had been through sickness together. In fact, she was there for him when he needed a lot of help because he tore the tendon in his knee.    
  
There were a few things that Hillary learned of Bill during that time. But what stood out was his dislike of not being able to move and being dependent on anyone.   
  
Hillary did not want to think about it but if Bill was - indeed - blind it would be very hard for him.    
  
They arrived in front of a white canvas tent and a five six-foot dark-skinned man wearing a dirty white coat under a tan shirt and pants met her. He must be Doctor Burman.   
  
“Doctor Burman, Senator Hillary Clinton.” Doug introduced.    
  
“Hillary Clinton, Doctor Burnan,” Hillary greeted giving her hand to him smiling at him.    
  
Doctor Burman nodded and returned the greeting. “Doctor Burman, Madam.”   
  
Hillary noticed his thick Indian accent but also noticed his fluency in English.   
  
“Doctor Burman we also have Doctor Burke with us who will help you check Bill,” She added.    
  
Doctor Burke shook hands with Burman as he led them inside. Hillary's eyes adjusted to the darkness just as her head turned to the silhouette of Bill sleeping in the corner. She continued walking like as if she was on trance barely listening to Burman explain what happened. She was shocked to see Bill so pale and thin. She carefully sat on the edge of the bed near his hip. Her eyes never leaving his face.   
  
This was the man that she loved and he looked like as if he was in the brink of death.   
  
_ What happened to you? _ She thought. She gently reached to brush Bill's hair and he slowly turned his head seemingly following her hand. Her emotions were spiraling inside her: anger, worry, and sadness. 

What stood out the most was her anger.   
  
She was angry because his team did not tell her soon enough about his condition. If they did she would use all her power to rescue him and they wouldn't be in this dire situation.   
  
“Mrs. Clinton, please allow me to take a look at the President.” Doctor Burke said approaching her.   
  
Hillary nodded and stood to give Doctor Burke a space to check Bill.   
  
Hillary walked out of the tent with Doug following her.   
  
“What the hell happened here?!” She asked sharply when they were far from the tent. Doug looked at her uncomfortably and she added: “My husband looks like he is in the brink of death! And you informed us a little too late!”   
  
“Mrs. Clinton, I wanted to inform the team when his fever started but the President brushed it off - told me not to escalate.”   
  
"You should have known better!" She snapped.   
  
Hillary brushed her fingers through her cropped hair. She didn't know whether to direct her anger to poor Doug or kill Bill herself for being stubborn.   
  
She turned around to take a deep breath. It was pointless to be angry she thought. They needed to get Bill out.   
  
After a few minutes, Doctor Burke got out of the tent and went to her. “Two things, Senator. First, the President's fever is receding. His vitals are getting stable. I believe he will gain consciousness soon enough. His blindness, however, is something we cannot confirm until he wakes up. Second, I am afraid that we cannot leave yet. We need to wait for the morning because it is not safe to expose Bill to that bumpy ride we took. I have given him some for hydration and vitamin shot. It is enough for now.”   
  
Hillary nodded, Burke's news was like a balm. “Thank you.”   
  
***   
  
Hillary's security lead agreed not to pursue going back to Kullu that time because the sun had set. Michael worked with the team to ensure that the camp was secured. He stationed two guards outside Bill's tent as well as roving guards within the camp.   
  
Hillary spent most of the time learning about what happened. She sat on the chair of the dinner table in the middle of the camp (just a few steps away from Bill's tent) reading the document that Doctor Burman wrote. She was reading it still when the dinner was served. 

They had curry and some roti prata bread. When people started taking their seat Doctor Burke sat next to her. “I have someone set your bed opposite the President. I know you want to take care of him, Senator, but the President has been exposed to the environment here. We don't want you to get anything that he got.”   
  
Hillary nodded, “Thank you for the warning but he is my husband.”   
  
Hillary took a piece of bread and placed it on the plate in front of her. She stood up and brought it - ready to go to the tent, but Doctor Burke stopped her by touching her arm. “I know you care and love the President, but for your sake and for his, try to distance yourself until we know what he got here, Senator.”   
  
Hillary’s eyes dropped to his hand on her arm and Doctor Burke gently let go of her. She walked back to the tent carrying the plate and a bottle of mineral water on her other hand. She nodded to the people she passed by. She did not feel like socializing with anyone out of exhaustion.   
  
She stopped upon entering as her eyes landed on Bill's sleeping form. She sighed and went to the working table. She placed the plate and the bottle on the flat surface as she sat and took a deep breath. There were a lot of things going on inside her head - like she wondered what kind of challenge did that mean for both of them? She and Bill didn't have a chance to repair their marriage before when this incident happened. Bill was starting to become a stranger to her because they never really had a chance to talk. She wondered... How would they adjust to their new situation?    
  
Although she knew that she and Bill were very flexible in terms of adjustments, their rift just made it difficult for her to plan. She worried if Bill would allow her to take care of him or he would be too proud to accept any help from her? Would he prefer to have professional help, perhaps?    
  
She tore the bread - not really eating it but rolling the piece between her thumb and forefinger. Out of nowhere, she suddenly thought if she still loved him. Admittedly, she entertained the idea of divorcing him. Divorcing him would allow them to freely explore the things that they wanted to do in their life. Besides, they already have drifted so divorce really made sense.   
  
She shook her head thinking how inappropriate it was for her to even think about her own feelings for him when he was in that condition.   
  
She put the bread down and went to stand next to Bill’s bed looking down at him, then she sighed and sat next to him. She reached and gently rubbed her thumb on his cheek.   
  
“What do you want us to do, Billy? What do you want me to do?” She asked helplessly.   
  
***   


Bill's fever broke past one in the morning. He woke up groggily and the first thing that greeted him was darkness.    
  
“Doug,” He said above a whisper. His throat felt raw and dry like as if he had swollen a saw dust.    
  
He turned trying to reach something: a lamp or anything to take away the darkness.   
  
“Doug!” He called again.    
  
He felt the linen covering his eyes and he reached for them. He needed to see something so he started to roll it off. The darkness was just too overwhelming.    
  
“Marsh--”   
  
“I’m here…” he turned his head to that strong, firm, female voice - Hillary’s voice.    
  
Of course, he would never forget how her voice sounded like. It used to be his anchor. But why was she there? Or was he dreaming?    
  
He must be dreaming.    
  
He couldn’t dream again. He couldn’t dream of her again.    
  
He started to panic wanting to wake up but then he felt her hand touching his and stopping him from taking off the linen roughly. “I’m here, Bill,” she gently said. “I’m here.”   
  
“Am I dreaming?”     
  
He felt her touch his cheek. “You’re not dreaming,” She responded. He felt her take his hand and placed it on her chest. He felt the steady beating of her heart and heard her say: “I’m here with you.”    
  
“It’s dark,” He commented.   
  
Hillary felt someone just punched her stomach.    
  
“I will take off the linen, okay?” She asked whispering. She bit her bottom lip to stop it from quivering.   
  
Bill nodded. He heard Hillary take a deep breath and started rolling off the linen. “You tell me if you can see something, alright?” She asked.    
  
He nodded again. He was getting confused about what was taking her so long to remove the linen.    
  
“Remove it!” He blurted out in panic. He felt the rising of his blood, he could practically hear his heartbeat in his ears. He was afraid… he was afraid to acknowledge it.    
  
The linen was removed and he felt the cold air on his temples. He was free from the confines of the cloth but it was still dark.    
  
“Can you see?” He heard Hillary asked.   
  
Bill gently touched his eyes and turned his head around. It was just plain darkness. He shook his head, “I can’t.”   
  
***   
****

**1997, White House, Washington D.C - 4:00 AM  Morning**   
  
Hillary was asleep but woke up when she heard a thud. She propped herself up to check what was that and found Bill no longer sleeping beside her. She rolled to his side of the bed in horror that he might have hurt himself.   
  
“Honey, are you okay?” She asked but then she found him laughing on the floor.   
  
“I’m…” He said still laughing then coughing.   
  
Hillary got out of the bed and crouched next to him. “What are you doing? Are you hurt?” She asked.   
  
“I’m trying my best not to wake you up and get on my wheelchair so I can take a piss.” He told her, then added sheepishly: “I’m sorry.”    
  
Hillary felt a tug in her heart by how helpless he was in his current condition. She leaned and kissed his forehead.    
  
“Why didn't you wake me up?”   
  
Bill’s face turned. “I hate to wake you up only to help me.”   
  
Hillary smiled, confidently at him. “Well, I married you didn't I?”   
  
Bill smiled appreciatively and said: “Have I told you how lucky I am that you agreed to marry me?”   
  
Hillary giggled, her hand making its way to cup the side of his face as she leaned and kissed him. “Indeed, you're lucky,” she said against his smiling lips.    
  
#####   
  
**2003, Hamirpur Village, Himachal Pradesh, India - 6:00 AM - India Time**   
  
Hillary had hopes for Bill. Besides, they started off smoothly. However, when Burke told Bill of his condition he did not take it easily. Bill's incapacity to move, his limited energy, and being totally dependent on people was making him angry.    
  
“Marshall!” He called. “Marshall, where are you?! ”    
  
Doctor Burman arrived instead. “He has not yet arrived, don't stress yourself, Mr. Clinton.”    
  
Bill waved his hand dismissively and reached for the nearby table but Doctor Burman went to assist him. “Take it easy, they are going to get you out of here.”   
  
“It's taking them so long!” He snapped.   
  
They both turned their head when they heard someone entered the tent. Bill propped himself using both of his hands on the table for fear that he might fall like a damn baby. His head was getting light - taking three steps were exhausting him already.  _ What a pathetic idiot _ , he thought.   
  
“What's happening here?” Hillary asked. Her voice filled with concern but firm. It made the hairs of Bill's nape stood up.    
  
_ Great _ , Bill thought. The last thing he wanted was his wife to see him as helpless as an infant.   
  
Hillary nodded to Burman to leave them. When Burman left them alone she carefully went to stand beside him to help. When she touched his arm, he pulled away as if he was burned by her touch.    
  
“What are you doing here?” He asked his voice raspy. He took a deep breath out of exhaustion.   
  
There was something in his tone that made Hillary straightened her back.   
  
“What do you mean ‘What am I doing here?’” She asked, the space in her brows furrowed.    
  
Bill turned to look at her over his shoulder. Hillary looked at his eyes that were covered by linen.    
  
“Well, I remember that you are doing very well in your new found glory in New York, Senator. I wonder what brought you here in India?” Bill asked mockingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, since you told me to continue...  
> Thank you, thank you for your support. :)
> 
> To the girl who keeps telling me to be cautious about my verbs and to reread - Thanks.  
> You've always been a good friend and supporter. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

“I know what you are doing, Bill,” Hillary said straightforwardly. She was exhausted, dirty, and out of patience. She wouldn't tolerate any of Bill’s rudeness.

He turned around to face her. Apparently, he didn't know that Hillary was just a step away from him, so when he turned, his chest was almost touching hers. Hillary did not step back though - she raised her chin and met his linen-covered-eyes instead.

Bill tipped his head down as if he could see her. “After all these years? I doubt you know anything about me.”

Hillary pulled back her bottom lip - biting it. She was so ready to retort but Bill turned - his arm extended to feel the back of the chair he was looking for. She did not help him because she was afraid that he would reject her assistance. She watched him though - ready in case he missed a step.

“I am here to take you home,” she said after watching him sit down.

He took a few deep breaths, “But there goes our problem … where is home, Hillary?”

“Bill-”

“I am really exhausted. May I ask if you can leave me alone in the meantime?”

He did not have the energy to argue with her but since he also could not take Hillary being around him - he resorted to asking her nicely to leave him.

Hillary wanted to stay but arguing with him in his condition wasn't a good idea. She would allow him to get away with it but once he fully recovered there were things that they needed to discuss - and she wouldn’t let him slide next time.

She sighed and shook her head before she went out of the tent to cool her head.

Doctor Burman was standing outside the tent waiting for her. He noticed the frown on Hillary's face.

“I see that your discussion with Mr. Clinton did not turn out as good,” He observed. His arms clasped behind his back.

Hillary glanced at him then she gazed on the tips of her shoes before she said: “We’ve been apart for so long. I did not expect things to be smooth between us.”

Doctor Burman walked with her side by side, “For three years that I spent with William, I never saw him this … angry.”

They both sat on a char of a long table where people usually take their meals. “Considering his condition, it’s just normal to be that frustrated and angry.”

Doctor Burman glanced at her and tilted his head to the side as if he was assessing her. “Mrs. Clinton, I know that you know your husband better than I do...He may be frustrated and angry but he never lost his good nature in any circumstances and I know you know that. In fact, I am expecting him to be welcoming of any help but not this ratty. I thought if it was the uncomfortable situation of being blind... ”

Hillary narrowed her eyes at his ramble, not understanding where the Doctor was going with his observation. “Where are you getting at, Doctor Burman…?

Doctor Burman held his breath and then exhaled, “Well, if I may be blunt, Mrs. Clinton, I think he is this irritable because of you.”

#####

**1997, March, Washington DC, White House - Morning**

“I am starting to get used to this,” Bill chuckled tipping his head back to look at Hillary standing behind him.

The white bathroom of their bedroom at the white house provided Hillary some space to take care of Bill. He was sitting on the stool chair made of steel with his injured leg stretched and propped on the opposite one.

As the President of a powerful country, Bill could have anyone to assist him in doing trivial stuff but Hillary told him and his doctors that she wanted to be the one personally taking care of him.

Hillary washed his back washing the lather away. She was smiling. While it was a challenge, she enjoyed her role. It was also a time for them to bond.

Hillary leaned and kissed the tip of his nose when she was done washing his back. “I should charge you for the services that I do, “ she joked.

Bill stretched his arm slowly, his large hand creeping on her nape - keeping her at a close distance. “I'll be damn… You will cost me very much.”

He brushed the tip of his nose against hers, a small lazy smile playing on his boyish face, and Hillary felt butterflies in her stomach by the way he was looking at her. She was so into the moment that she did not notice her front shirt was getting soaked.

They played that seduction many times when one hovered above the other - their lips a mere breath away - almost kissing. They liked to tease each other until someone would beg to end the sweet torture.

“Kiss me,” He whispered, smiling at her.

“If I do that we'll end up extending your bath.”

He smiled against her lips, “Then it will be fun.” He responded. His other arm wrapping around her waist slowly moving her to stand beside him.

“Just one kiss, Babe. I have a national security meeting after this. I doubt we can extend.”

Hillary giggled, then yelped when Bill pulled her to him her chest pressing against his. She was then sitting across on his lap both of them laughing. She cupped the side of his face. “You incorrigible man,” she teased before he slowly leaned and closed the gap between their lips kissing her.

#####

**2003, Hamirpur Village, Himachal Pradesh, India - 6:00 AM - India Time**

Hillary wanted to ask Burman why he thought it was her that made Bill irritable when Doug and Michael arrived. Hillary and Burman stood to greet them.

“Senator, we already have the clearance to go. It will take us the same amount of time to Kullu where the chopper is waiting for us.”

“We already have packed the President's stuff,” Doug said.

Burman turned to her. “Mrs. Clinton, the President hasn't eaten. I am afraid of stressing his body to go on a journey without a meal. It will make it worst.”

“What time will we be leaving?” She asked her security lead.

“They are refilling the gas but we could give you an hour.”

Hillary took a deep breath and turned to Burman, “I'll get him something to eat.”

***

Bill was just taking deep full breath trying to recover the energy he spent. He did not want to think ahead of the challenges that he would face if his condition would be permanent. He was not the kind of person who mulled over negative thoughts but he couldn't help imagining how his next few days would look like: Being under Hillary's care.

He was sure of it. He knew Hillary and she was loyal to her words and actions - something he admired about her before. She would be there for him and he wasn't sure if that was what he wanted.

_But what does he really want?_

Before he could continue thinking about that he heard the flap of the tent and he turned toward the sound. He knew who it was before Hillary could even speak. Apparently, there were things that time and space couldn't take away - his familiarity with her. He knew exactly - even without seeing - if she was within the proximity.

He felt her stand beside him.

“Please tell me that you went here to tell me that we are about to leave.” He told her resigned.

He heard the clang of plate and utensils in front of him. He turned his head to the sound in front of him.

“Yes, we are only waiting for the service to arrive. In the meantime, you have to eat.”

Bill was famished and he was glad of the food. However, he was struggling to figure out how he would eat. He wanted to ask her for help but he bit his tongue instead. Then he heard the scrape of the chair beside him as Hillary sat next to him. He felt her move and to his horror, he was struck by the knowledge that she would spoon feed him.

“No!” He blurted turning his head away. His outburst made Hillary stop mid-air holding the spoon with oatmeal.

“I don't need your help.” He rasped viciously.

He heard Hillary take a deep breath and felt that she brought her hand down. But then she moved and swiveled his seat until he faced her. She slammed her palms on both sides of the armrest of his chair and leaned until her face was few inches away from him.

“I am tired of you pushing me away, Bill!” She bit out. “We are going to travel for five damn hours on a jeep and you need some energy to survive the journey! So you are going to eat whether you like it or not!”

“Who the hell do you think you are?!” He hissed.

“I am your wife!” She snapped.

#####

**1998, Washington D.C, White House - Nighttime**

He could still hear her cry even when he slept. He couldn't take out the image of her face contorted by anguish when he admitted the truth about his mistake out of his mind. She kept asking him _“What do you mean?”_ and _“Why did you do this?”_ it haunted him every night. The morning was not even comforting seeing her face painted with disappointment and anger.

If there was something he learned about her during the storm was her courage and unwavering faith in him. Not once he saw her cower, nor she doubted his capability to lead the country.

She stood behind him and he was always grateful for her strength and he was glad to call her his wife. He just hoped he wouldn't destroy her before his term ended.

#####

**2003, Hamirpur Village, Himachal Pradesh, India - Twenty Minutes before Departure - India Time**

Bill relented and allowed Hillary to feed him. He was angry but so was she. He did not want her help but she was persistent. She never threatened anyone but would do so when it came to his life.

"If I have to force this food down your throat - so help me, God - I will!"

Bill bit back his laugh. If they were not in the bad mood he would have chuckled. He complied instead since he knew that she wouldn't think twice of doing her threat.

“If this is hard for you, this is hard for me too,” Hillary said when she finished helping him eat.

Bill noticed the quivering of her voice. _She must be crying,_ he thought. _How many times will he make her cry?_

“I only ask for you to cooperate with me so I can take you back to America.” She ended before she stood up and brought the empty plate with her.

“Why did you come here, Hillary?” He asked hoarsely.

She turned to look at him. His back turned to her. “You are still my husband, Bill." She decided against being honest, but then she said the words before she could even stop herself: "And believe it or not a part of me still doesn’t want to give up on you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you and I hope you like the update. :)
> 
> Good luck to me writing the succeeding chapters. HAHAHA :)))) HUHUHU :(((((


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - read at your own risk

“Senator, we have fifteen minutes,” Michael Goodman advised her when she got out of Bill's tent. She nodded then she went to Doug.

“Can you get me some fresh shirt, pants, and...?” Her ears were coloring, she wavered not wanting to say Bill’s undergarments but then Doug smiled and said, “I got it.”

The thing was - she did not want Bill to arrive on American soil looking wretched. Bill often told the people around him the importance of appearance and it was proven true in the world of politics. Media was always critical about them even to the most trivial matters. So she would protect him and ensure that his dignity kept intact.

“Can I get some warm water on a basin, perhaps? And a cloth?” She asked Burman.

“You're going to clean him up?”

“Yes,” she responded matter of factly meeting Burman's eyes.

“I expected that,” Burman told her with a small smile on his face.

Hillary walked back to Bill's tent and she found him still sitting. Her heart ached for the fact that if he was capable to see he would probably be wandering around and not being that helpless.

She placed the basin on the ground just a few feet away from him. She needed his permission if she could clean him up. She got down on her haunches next to him.

Hillary looked at Bill's hands cupping his knees, her eyes widened when she saw their wedding ring on his finger.

After all those times of separation … He was still wearing it when she already stopped wearing hers.

She wanted to ask about it and she wanted to talk to him about them. But it was not the right place and time to bring it up. She felt her eyes prickling thinking how they ended up being virtually separated and almost strangers.

“Billy…” she said, her voice hoarse.

He turned to her voice.

“I have to clean you up,” she added.

Silence.

Bill was reduced to silence. Arguing with Hillary at that moment would not help them both, but he couldn't get his frustration and anger off. First, He did not like Hillary imposing her role as his wife too quickly when she seemed to be fine with their separation, to begin with. Oh, how could he forget on the day of his flight to India and he told her that his stay might be indefinite? How did she respond? Yes, she just looked at him blankly and said: “Okay, take care.” Her indifference stung, so he responded in the same coldness with: “I’ll see you soon.” Then after three years of no talking, of giving cold shoulders she would walk back into his life because he was about to die and then she had the audacity to remind him of her place as his wife? Christ!

He did not want to talk because he did not trust himself to speak. He was afraid that if he did - he might actually explode.

But he heard her speak softly: “We need to get back to America, Chelsea needs you.”

Chelsea. He felt his stomach twisted hearing his daughter's name. They talk on the phone almost every day. She never failed to tell him about her days and about her nights, the guy that she was going out with, her heartbreaks and her achievements. Bill thought if he would return to America it would simply because Chelsea told him to, or because Hillary requested for their divorce - which he was expecting. But Chelsea… He just missed her so much.

He wanted to crawl and howl in pain because he did not want to return to America for Chelsea to find out about his blindness and how her parents were in the brink of divorce.

He was so lost in his thought that he didn't know Hillary was talking until he heard her say - almost beggingly - “Please.”

 _Why does the way she begged him almost sounded familiar?_ He thought. _Oh, how can he forget?_

#####

**1998, Washington DC, White House**

“I am so sorry,” Bill whispered against the closed door. He was still staying on the extended room of their bedroom at the White House. He was sleeping on the couch because Hillary barred him from sharing the bed with her. And who, at that moment, was trying so hard to stifle her cries.

She did not want Bill to know she was crying and how hurt she was by his lies. But he just admitted his mistake in the public and she again faced the embarrassment of his cheating. The media was feasting on it. They were looking at her if she would crumble or if she would flinch by the scandal. His frolicking was not new to her, but that one… it was the stake that killed her.

Hillary stopped talking to him. It was less than what he deserved. But there were times when he wanted to talk to her, to comfort her but she kept turning away from him. His presence was the last thing she needed.

“Please,” He whispered against the door, hoping he could reach her so he could comfort her. His forehead pressing on the wooden plane hopelessly.

#####

**2003, Hamirpur Village, Himachal Pradesh, India - Ten Minutes before Departure - India Time**

Hillary wasn't sure if Bill wanted to even let her help him. She understood their differences, but why won't he let her help him?

“Okay,” Bill responded. He said it so faintly that Hillary almost missed it. She exhaled in relief. She stood and gently took his hand and lead him to the small comfort room.

Hillary did not wince at his appearance because she was determined to bring Bill back to his health. He wasn't at all too bony but he lost a significant amount of weight. He was also pale beneath his tan. India and his mission here changed him but he was still the man that she married.

They did not talk at all while Hillary cleaned him. She unrolled the linen covering his eyes. She looked at his clear blue eyes. There were no changes in them, not even the colors. If she didn’t know that he was blind she wouldn't think that he was even blind at all.

She was gentle as she wiped his face, his torso, his arms, his legs with the cloth soaked with warm water. She also guided him as he brushed his teeth, then she wrapped a fresh gauze around his head to protect his eyes.

The whole process reminded her of how she took care of him then and remembered how the act humbled her - and it still did.

When she was finished and about to step out, Bill touched her arm.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

She smiled and led him out.

***

Bill's blindness initially did not sink in. He was in denial that the darkness was his new reality. It felt that maybe something was just wrong. He kept thinking that it was all a nightmare and he was still asleep. But for some reason, while Hillary was cleaning him up, it dawned to him that it was real. He was indeed blind and darkness was his new reality.

Being blind made him hyper-aware of his surroundings. He did not know if he was imagining it, but he felt that Hillary was looking at his eyes when she had taken off the linen. He felt it. She was gazing into his eyes as her hands flattened against his cheek. He wondered what she was seeing. Was she wondering if his eyes were still the same? Or was she wondering what changed in him?

The temptation to give in to self-consciousness was beckoning. But at that point, he didn't have time to feel conscious. In fact, he checked his emotions. He swallowed his pride, contained his anger and annoyance because he needed to go back to America to find a cure. It was his priority. He kept the self-consciousness, frustration, and anger to himself.

When Hillary was done washing him he touched her arm and told her "thank you" before she led him out of the tent.

***

The journey back to Kulli was anything but smooth. It was bumpy and dirty. Hillary was counting the hours for them to get to Kullu.

Bill was unusually quiet. She remembered that whenever they were in another country, he would entertain her with facts about the place. He was such a kid at heart. If things were different - if he could see at all - she believed that he would tell her about this village, his projects, and his adventures.

She sat next to him on the seat of the jeep. He kept his head in a level position. His back - ramrod straight. He was keeping that farce that he was okay, but internally, she felt that he wanted to get more rest.

Two hours on their journey and Bill was starting to slack. Hillary noticed it. She leaned closer, “How are you feeling?”

She saw him swallowed before answering. “I'm fine.”

Three hours and she saw him getting pale. She touched his arm. “Are you okay?”

“I need…” He said but took a sharp intake of breath and heaved.

“Stop the car!”

The car stopped immediately and the secret service opened the door of the jeep as Hillary helped him alight the car. They did not get a chance to walk away from the convoy because Bill bent forward, took a deep breath then threw up.

Hillary flattened her hand on his back. “Easy, easy.”

Doctor Burke reached them holding a bottle of mineral water, a towel, and his pill box. She turned to him with her hand extended reaching for the water. Doctor Burke handed it to her.

“Here,” She told Bill handing him the bottle. She turned back again to Doctor Burke reaching for the towel. She took it and wiped the side of Bill's mouth.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” Bill said stuttering. During the time that he was throwing up, he draped his arm on Hillary's shoulder for support.

“It's okay,” Hillary assured. Then she was surprised when Bill moved and pulled her closer. His body facing hers, his arms circled around her neck. Hillary's hands went to hold his waist.

“Easy, Darling. I am here.” She said comfortingly. She looked up and noticed the trail of his tears on his cheeks. She remembered how Bill hated throwing up.

“God, I don't think I can do this.” He said, his forehead pressing against hers. Hillary cupped both sides of his face. “You can do this. I’m here. Chelsea will be waiting for you, Billy. You have to do this.”

“Mr. President, here's a pill that would help you ease your nausea.” Doctor Burke said, handing Hillary a pill. She took it from him and placed the pill on Bill's hand. She watched him as he swallowed it and drank the water from the bottle.

Bill pulled back and took deep breaths before nodding for Hillary to take him back to the jeep.

When they got inside the car, she held his hand and gently urged him to lean his head on her shoulder. “I am here,” she told him. “Take a deep breath and relax.”

#####

**1994, Washington DC, White House - Nighttime**

Death of a mother would rock anyone to their core. This was no different from Bill. But there were a lot of things going on at that time: the Whitewater scandal, his upcoming State of the Nation Address, and his upcoming State visit to Russia. When he learned about the passing of his mother, he never really had a chance to grieve.

He just finished his meeting with his chief of staff when he returned to the master's bedroom. His heart was heavy. He accepted a few calls from his siblings who were taking care of his mother's memorial. He felt bad that he couldn't spend time with his family.

He was hoping to see Hillary inside their bedroom but found it empty. He thought that she must be working with their lawyers concerning the Scandal. Bill sat on the edge of the bed spacing out - thinking about his mother.

 _I'm sorry,_ he thought. He felt emotionally drained but he wanted to feel something even for a brief moment. He took a deep breath before a sob escaped his lips.

He was not able to hold the emotion that he kept at bay and when he let go he found himself unable to stop. He crossed his arms around himself to keep him from falling apart.

The door to their bedroom opened - as if Hillary herself knew that he needed her. She sat next to him and curled her arm around his shoulder. She encouraged him to lean his head on her shoulder - and he did. He pressed his face on the curve of her neck, wept and held on to her.

She was his rock - always was and always would be.

“I am here,” She whispered holding him to her. “I love you.” She added rocking him gently.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the update.  
> I appreciate any comments and suggestions.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk  
> Some scene might be disturbing  
> My knowledge is also limited in medicine so please forgive me for my mistakes

**2003, Kullu, Himachal Pradesh, India - Five Hours After - India Time**

By the time that they arrived in Kullu Bill's fever returned. In fact, they stopped several times while traveling so he could throw up.

In one of their stops, Doctor Burke assisted him back to the van when he noticed the rashes that appeared on Bill’s neck. He stopped him from proceeding and gently pulled his collar to take a look at the rash. He was surprised to see that it was starting to spread but he did not comment.

He took something in his pillbox then helped him with one of the medicines, then he helped Bill take a seat next to Hillary. His head lolled on the side as Hillary curled her arm around his head supporting it.

“Mrs. Clinton, it would be safe if you distant yourself away from the President.”

“What's happening?”

Doctor Burke looked at Hillary and said flatly, “I don't want to make assumptions until we get to the lab and see the result. But this rashes that appeared on his body is not a good sign.”

“But the doctors gave me shots before we even stepped here in India.”

“I strongly suggest-”

“I've been with my husband for more than forty-two hours, I think it's already a moot point for you to tell me to stay away from him.” Hillary reasoned firmly.

Doctor Burke held her gaze and Hillary did not waver, then she stressed out: “If you think that I will leave him - I won't.”

“Okay,” Doctor Burke said, resigned.

#####

When you know you've done something wrong, it would always nag behind your head - that was how conscience works. Conscience was ruthless because it would always be there to remind you of your sins even though years already passed, even while sleeping.

Bill fairly reasoned that it would be just a one-time thing, that it wouldn't get repeated, but he was just weak in resisting temptation. It was just so stressful working as a President, and Hillary and he was drifting apart as work made its way in between their relationship.

They were still intimate, but not as often as they used to. Their work became their focus.

 _Just this once_ \- How many times did he think about that as he watched Monica got down on him.

He could remember how his heart was beating like drums in his chest as brief euphoria engulf him feeling Monica's mouth wrapped around him. He tipped his head holding the back of her head.

Then fast forward to the month that Hillary found out about it. He paced, he couldn't sleep. He knew he needed to tell it to her.

Everything happened so fast but he couldn't forget Hillary's cries and how she looked like when he broke her heart.

_What do you mean? Why did you do this?_

Even in his sleep, even in his drug-induced brain, it continued to haunt him. It reminded him why he needed to stay away from her.

_Don't ruin her chance, Bill. Don't ruin her dream this time. You are unworthy of her - still unworthy of her._

***

**2003, Pacific Airspace, Fifteen Hours Later - Six Hours before Arrival in America**

With Hillary's connection and Bill's position as former President, they were taken out of India by the nightingale military medevac aircraft by the US Airforce.

Hillary and her team were tested as the military wanted to ensure that they were not carrying any disease as they land on American soil.

She was informed that a medical team was already waiting as they arrive. She was also informed by her team in New York that the hordes of media were already waiting for them at the tarmac.

“The news is out, Hill,” John Podesta told her earlier over the radio transmitter that she borrowed.

The news that the former President got a disease and rendered him blind was already circulating. Bill's Press Secretary did not release any statement as instructed by Hillary. Conspiracy theories about his condition spread like a wildfire.

Hillary and Bill’s team were all prepared about that kind of issues and they were ready to face the public, but as she sat next to Bill's stretcher she wasn't thinking of what they would face as they arrive, she was just looking forward to Bill to get well again.

She returned to where Bill was resting after her brief conversation with John. She watched as him as he slightly twitched in his sleep and she thought that he must be dreaming. She smiled a little and brushed his salt and pepper hair - that was whiter compared last three years ago.

“You will be okay, Billy,” She whispered - hopeful. She brushed his cheek with her thumb. “I will help you get better and I am not going to leave you.”

***

They arrived on American soil with doctors already waiting for them. Before Hillary met the doctors, she, first, thanked the officers who helped them out from India. Then she met with John and Huma who were waiting for her at the tarmac.

“What do I have urgently?”

“Still the same.”

“Hold the press, we're not going to talk in the meantime. We'll have his doctor explain Bill's condition after his test,” she said as her eyes followed the medical team taking Bill into the ambulance.

Huma handed her a folder with reports inside. “Here are the notes that you need for your review. The Mayor wants to have a meeting with you tomorrow.”

Hillary was already moving as she told Huma, “Cancel my meeting tomorrow. I have to look after Bill.”

She rode her black tainted bullet-proofed van and followed the ambulance. She was mumbling a prayer hoping that whatever Bill got it wasn't at all serious.

#####

**2000 December, Washington DC, White House - Nighttime**

How odd to be looking around the Blue Room again after a long time. Bill was wandering around the rooms trying to savor the moment as his days being the President was coming to an end.

He sighed and remembered how surreal it was when he stepped into the White House as the President-elect. He could still remember tipping his head up looking at every nook of the room with Hillary beside him.

Hillary…

He worried his bottom lip remembering what her staff told him. “Mr. President, the First Lady called and she said she will be staying in her house at New York today.”

It meant Hillary wouldn't be with him tonight. Bill turned to leave the room making his way back to their bedroom feeling a bit lonely of Hillary's choice where to stay.

He purchased the house at Chappaqua because he couldn't forget the smile on Hillary's face when she saw it. It made her happy. It was what he could do to somehow alleviate the pain he caused. Besides, he also did it to help himself forget how her face looks like when he hurt her. He wanted her happy and smiling face replaced that image sketched in his mind. He was also hoping that the new house could help them heal, but his infidelity and the scandal tarnished their good relationship. Plus, her new role as a Senator was demanding. So the plan to fix their relationship took the back seat again.

He sighed feeling more isolated. He just didn't know what would he do after his Presidency. He didn't even know his place as Hillary's spouse, or if she still needed him.

#####

**2003, Presbyterian Hospital, New York - Three Hours After**

Hillary sat on the settee waiting for Bill's doctor to return. Her team gave her an update of what she missed while she was away. She was running through her notes when Chelsea arrived.

“Mom!” She called.

Hillary stood, met her half-way and exchanged embraces.

“How is Dad?” Chelsea asked after they pulled back.

“I haven't heard from his doctor.”

Chelsea furrowed her eyebrows. “I heard…” she trailed.

Hillary nodded. “It's going to be alright.” She draped her arm over Chelsea's shoulder. “I have faith that it will be alright.”

She heard Chelsea sniffed. Chelsea turned to her, “How are you, mom?”

Hillary smiled briefly. She gave Chelsea's arm a comforting rub. “I am fine, Darling. I am just glad to take your father back here and see you again.”

They both sat down on the settee as Hillary recalled what happened in India. She was half-way from recounting the event when the doctor arrived.

“Senator,” the doctor called.

Hillary and Chelsea stood. Hillary turned to her daughter and introduced her. "This is our daughter, Chelsea.”

“I am Doctor Sullivan. I worked with Doctor Burke to check the President. What he got in India is bacterial meningitis. The bacteria infected his optic nerve, hence his blindness. We already provided the necessary treatment. We need to conduct several tests to ensure that the infection will not cause further damage.”

Hillary nodded as the doctor continued. “However, the President's blindness will cure on its own.”

“How long will it take for his sight to return?”

“Depends on how fast he will heal. Sometimes it takes a month or two before the sight returns. The President needs vision therapy so he could adjust to his temporary condition.”

Hillary nodded, taking it all in. “Is he okay?”

The doctor gave her a brief smile, “Yes, he is recovering. He is currently sleeping. If his body responds to the medicines that we have provided, he can go home after a few days.”

When the Doctor left them Chelsea turned to her. “Why don't you go home in the meantime, Mom? I will look after Dad.”

Hillary reached and touched her cheek. “Thanks. I will just take a nap then I will be back here.”

Chelsea frowned. “No, be back tomorrow.”

Hillary smiled and shook her head reminding herself that she could not win this kind of argument with Chelsea. Chelsea was as stubborn as she was.

#####

**2003, Chappaqua, New York, - Two Hours After**

When Hillary arrived at her home the first thing she noticed was the parked sport's car. Michael Donovan's car.

Michael was Hillary's top donor and became her friend when she ran for Senate and he worked in her campaign. Michael was forty-nine, a Philanthropist who ran few businesses in New York and in Europe. Michael was fascinated by Hillary when she was still the First Lady, then he got to know her more when he helped in her campaign. He didn't really want to pursue her but he just couldn't help it. Hillary was just fascinates him.

When Michael found out that Hillary and Bill were virtually separated, he took the opportunity to be closer to her. They never really talked about their status - if they were exclusively dating, but to Hillary, she treated him as her close friend. She knew his feelings for her but she never reciprocated because she did not want to get involved with anyone while still being married to Bill.

While Michael understood, it did not deter him to continue being close to her, hoping that one day he might be able to persuade her to make their relationship official.

“Michael,” she greeted when she entered her home and found him pacing on the foyer waiting for her.

Michael came to her and wrapped her in his arms. “I am so glad you are home. I miss you.”

Hillary smiled a little. She was really trying to be evasive whenever he mention anything about his feelings.

“I have to take Bill to the hospital. Have you seen the news?” She asked as she made her way to her kitchen.

“Yeah, I saw. I am worried though.” Michael responded following her in her kitchen.

Michael stood a few steps away from her. Hillary went to her fridge to get some water. Hillary did not respond and pretended to be busy as she poured some water on the glass, she drank a little then placed the glass on the counter.

“Bill's not really in good condition right now. I have to look after him.”

That earned a frown from him.

“You're no longer together, why don't you let someone look after him? A private nurse?”

Hillary rubbed her temple. “I can't do that.”

“Why not?”

“I am still married to him.”

Michael sighed and looked down at the tips of his shoes. “Are you planning to divorce him?”

“Michael that's not an appropriate thing to ask.” She chided.

Michael nodded, and closed the distance between them. He reached to cup his hand on the side of her neck. “I know, I am sorry. I can't help it.”

Hillary waved a dismissive hand, “It's okay. Can we talk tomorrow? I really want to take a rest.”

Michael nodded and brushed the side of her hair. “I just want you to know, I left some of your favorite flowers on your bedroom as a welcome-back gift.”

Hillary pulled back and gave him a small smile. “You always remember, Michael.”

Michael gave her a wink. “How can I not? I will see you tomorrow, Hill.”

Hillary nodding smiling watching Michael walk and left. She sighed and looked at her hands thinking: _How can I tell him that Bill will be living with me? And how can I tell Bill about him?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huhuhu why are there few fics in this fandom? :((((  
> Don't go writers.  
> I hope you like it. :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

**2003, Presbyterian Hospital, New York - 48 hours after**

There was a certain lethargy that Bill felt when he woke up. He knew he was no longer in India by the smell of his surroundings. The room smelled of a disinfectant, medicine, and fresh linen.

He slowly propped himself up, his eyes still wrapped in gauze, he opened his mouth but only a croak came out.

“Hill-” He said, his voice scratchy, his throat dry.

“Dad!”

_Chelsea!_

“Chel!” He called then he felt Chelsea's arm wrapping around him, and heard her cries followed.

“Oh, God, Daddy! I am so happy you are awake!”

Bill did not notice that his tears were falling, because he couldn't feel anything around his eyes. He just felt incredibly emotional holding her again. What killed him at that moment was his inability to see her face. It broke her heart that he could not see her smiling face and her beautiful eyes.

“I miss you!" He cried. "Oh, God, I love you so much!” He sobbed. When he pulled back he framed her face with both of his hands as Chelsea flattened hers atop his. She leaned her forehead against his. “I love you too, Dad. I miss you too. I am so glad you are home.”

Bill brushed her cheeks with his thumbs and thought how he much he would pay to get his vision back just to see her again.

“I hope…” He said, his voice cracked. He felt Chelsea wiped his tears.

He hoped he could see her face again.

“Can I touch your face?” He asked softly, instead and Chelsea nodded.

***

Hillary quietly entered Bill's room and what she saw broke her heart. Chelsea sitting on Bill's bed, with Bill touching her face. She knew how much Bill missed Chelsea and not being capable to see her on his first day back in America was just heartbreaking.

There was a small smile that appeared on his face when Bill commented. “Still the same nose as I remembered.”

"Oh, Dad!" Chelsea giggled. She leaned and embraced him. “I miss you, Dad.”

Chelsea turned and saw Hillary standing on the doorway. “Hi Mom,” she softly said without losing her hold around Bill.

Hillary smiled and approached them. She noticed Bill stiffened as she came closer. She ignored his reaction and, instead, she leaned and kissed Chelsea's hair.

“You should go home now, Chelsea. Take a rest.”

Chelsea smiled. “Just one more hour. I just got Daddy back.”

Hillary reached to cup Chelsea's cheeks. “Okay, just one more hour. Do you want me to get you something?”

Chelsea shook her head. “I'm fine.”

Hillary turned to Bill, “Bill?”

For some reason, they suddenly back to being strangers. She felt awkward considering that Bill was already out of fever and fully conscious.

“I'm okay,” He said, rather gravely.

Hillary nodded, and she didn’t know where to place herself. Chelsea noticed her discomfort.

She started to turn but then stopped when Chelsea said: “On second thought, I'll just stay for a while, but I will just take a rest then return."

#####

**1995, Washington DC, White House - 12:00 AM**

Bill just finished his work and was on his way to his bedroom. He was about to turn the knob when Hillary pulled open the door from the other side and tugged him in.

Bill was about to ask what was going on when Hillary pulled him to her and locking her lips with his. “Happy 20th Anniversary!” She greeted after she released him.

Bill blinked, still recovering for Hillary's kiss-attack. He shook his head and looked down at her, “Happy twentieth, Babe." Then he noticed that Hillary was wearing a bathrobe. “What's going on?” He asked.

Hillary gave him a saucy smile and pressed closer to him, her breast pressing against his chest, then she tiptoed and started nipping his neck. “I have an idea.”

Bill tipped his head up when he felt Hillary nibble the sensitive spot under his jaw. He released a sigh. “What?” He asked, breathily. His eyes closing.

Hillary pushed him gently until his back was pressing against the door. His hands made its way behind her thighs creeping up under her robe, then his eyes snapped open he realized that she was naked under her bathrobe.

“We're skinny dipping,” She announced at the same time.

Bill opened his mouth to say something. “We'll get caught!”

Hillary giggled, her hands starting to work on the button of his pants. “Chelsea's not here and I have it all figured out. Don't worry.”

“What do you mean you got it all figured out?”

“I had some help.”

He stopped. He was thinking if it was wise to indulge in doing such a thing considering that they no longer have privacy. He was afraid someone might take a picture of them. But his thoughts dissolved in thin air when Hillary caressed him through his briefs, and she nibbled his earlobe.

“Come on, Darling. Let's fuck in the pool.” She teased whispering directly on his ear. The heat of her breath tickled Bill making his knees weak.

With Hillary hot in his arms, whispering naughty things made Bill abandon caution and agreed with her crazy idea. Next thing he knew he was getting naked inside their bedroom, wearing a bathrobe, and grabbing their towels as they sneaked out of their bedroom.

They managed to escape the mansion and reached the pool without anyone noticing them.

Both of them were giggling like teenagers as they reached the in-ground outdoor swimming pool that was built on the White House grounds, near the tennis courts. It wasn't totally dark the light from the nearby court provided enough light for them to see each other.

They were facing each other just near the pool as they catch their breath. Hillary rubbed his chest.

“Are you ready?” Hillary asked, flirty.

Bill looked around, hoping against hope that they wouldn't be seen.

Hillary took off her robe, baring herself naked under the twilight. Bill opened his lips as a sigh escaped his lips. Her breasts were high with the rosy nipples peaked. Her skin smooth and creamy. She was smiling at him giving him that toothy, overbite smile that he was crazy about. She was like a nymph that night and he was enchanted.

She helped him took off his own robe. She extended her hand to him and he gently took her hand, then she led him into the pool.

Bill's breath hitched feeling the cool water. The water reached his chest. Hillary turned to him and pressed their body closer. She encircled her arms around his neck, her legs wrapping around his waist. Bill's arms circled around her waist.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

“I never felt better,” He responded, pulling her closer. His nose rubbing against hers.

Hillary felt the butterflies in her stomach as Bill looked at her with those soft blue eyes. Every time he did that, it just knocked her off her feet. She was so goofy about him and having his attention to her was all that she needed to remind herself how much in love she was with him.

Bill's hands gently made its way to cup her cheeks and angled her head as he leaned and kissed her. He kissed her so reverently. Until their kiss became heated and demanding, his tongue tracing hotly against her lips.

“Open for me, Darling,” He whispered.

The moment that she did their kiss exploded, Bill's tongue twirling against hers just as Hillary's body molded perfectly against his. Bill felt himself hardening feeling Hillary's mound rubbing against his. It was so tempting to end their game the soonest but they were just starting.

Hillary must've felt the same thing because she pulled back breaking the kiss, her forehead pressing against his. “Not too soon,” she said.

Bill nodded and kissed her forehead. “I intend to make love to you longer tonight. I am glad you think it's too soon.”

She gave a short soft laugh.

He leaned, his lips hovering on the smooth skin of her forehead. “Happy twentieth again, my Love,” he whispered and Hillary pulled him closer as they embraced that summer night.

#####

**2003, Presbyterian Hospital, a Few Minutes After**

“I'll be back soon, Mom,” Chelsea said, while they stood near the door. She pulled her bag tightly.

Hillary nodded and kissed her cheeks. Chelsea cocked her head to look at Bill. “Bye, Dad!”

“Bye, Darling!”

Chelsea gave Hillary's hand a comforting squeeze as if to tell her that she could do it. When Chelsea left and gently closed the door, Hillary took a deep breath realizing then that, with Bill out of delirium and fully conscious, they have to talk. 

She turned to face Bill who was still on a sitting position. He was wearing the hospital gown, a gauze wrapped around his head.

Hillary approached his bed, and she noticed his head followed her as if he could feel where she was. “How are you feeling?” She asked as she stood next to his bed.

Bill sighed. He was thinking about this moment even before Chelsea left. Hell, he was thinking about this moment back when he was in India. He imagined himself returning to Hillary with the success of his project in India and not as an invalid with his project half-baked. But he understood that they could not continue avoiding the inevitable. They needed to face what they want to do with their marriage.

While he understood that he needed Hillary more than ever, he couldn’t get his dreams out of his mind: the scandal and Hillary’s humiliation. He felt ashamed, and then this situation of him becoming a burden to her because he would be heavily depending on her because of his incapability to see, just made it worst.

_Did he really want to add this new burden to her?_

He slightly dipped his chin down and said, “You don’t need to continue with this farce, Hillary.”

A frown appeared on Hillary’s face, “What farce?”

Bill cocked his head, and spread his hands open, “You being this…” he tried to find the right words, “... amicable wife.”

Hillary gave a full belly laugh, throwing her head back. Her laughter was so out of place that confused Bill. He kept a straight face as Hillary tried to recover from the hilarity of the situation. The truth of Bill’s statement caught her off-guard.

“After rescuing you all the way to India, this is the first thing you will tell me…? To stop being amicable?”

“I forgot - thank you, but I think you can leave now.”

“Nope, no, no,” Hillary said dismissively.

Bill frowned again, he was getting exhausted.

“I think you are forgetting something.”

“What?”

“For better or worst?”

Bill rubbed his temples. “I am not really in the mood for guessing game -”

“‘Till death do us part?”

_Oh, of course, their marriage vows._

“Hillary -” he said with a hint of sadness when she reminded him of their vows. The vows that he failed too many times already.

“Have you eaten?”

Bill reached and grabbed her arm, “Please,” he said almost beggingly. He just wanted her to stop being nice to him, he just couldn't take it.

“Bill, I know we have unresolved issues. But for once, let's keep our feelings aside and let's get you back to your health, first. Can we do that?”

Bill was always pragmatic and practical, and while the last thing he wanted was to be depended on her, he needed her. But she was right, he just needed to get better then they would talk about them. He would agree on their truce for now.

“Okay.”

 _Well, I can live with the agreement._  He thought. _For sure, I will be staying in the hospital while I_ _wait for my sight to return._

He's ready to proceed with this make-believe marriage _._

Hillary smiled feeling victorious, “Good, to begin with, you'll have to live with me in New York.”

_Well, anything, except that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a little busy, but I will always try to update the soonest.  
> Hope you like it. Let me know your thoughts (because hahahaha I feel so unsatisfied with how I wrote this chapter. I thought I can do better.)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

**2003, New York, New York - 8:00 PM**

Hillary entered the restaurant that Michael told her to meet him. She was supposed to arrive by seven thirty but she was thirty minutes late after listening to Bill's doctor about the progress of his condition. The doctor told her that he was getting better. His body was responding to the antibiotics that they prescribed. Bill was also scheduled for his vision therapy that would start the day after. His doctor also gave his recommendation to her if he was to stay at her home.

She scanned the area and found Michael waiting for her. She went to him and he immediately stood up to greet her.

"I am worried that you might have bailed up on me," Michael teased. He went behind her and helped her out with her coat.

"Thanks. I wouldn't dream of doing that!" She laughed nervously. They took their seat. "Did you order already?" She asked.

"Nope, just waiting for you."

She waved her hand at the waiter. "I'm so glad to be here right now," she said, Michael stopped mid-air from drinking his wine peering at her through the glass.

"I'm glad you feel that way because I am so glad to have you back again."

Hillary looked at him and quickly thought that he misunderstood what she meant. She was glad to be there to eat because she hadn't eaten yet. But she did not want to burst Michael's bubbles, she just gave him a smile. The reason why she agreed to join him for dinner was for her to announce to him that Bill would be living with her again. She wanted him to get a hint that his unexpected visits would be reduced. She also wanted to clarify with him their relationship.

To begin with, Michael already asked her about their status and she told him that they couldn't get any further than being "friends" because she was not yet divorced. Michael thought that she might change her mind. She thought she would also pursue her divorce but she just couldn't do it. So she told him that anything about the status of her marriage would be shelved until Bill returned so they could make an agreement. But obviously, even though Bill was already in America, anything about their marriage would take the backseat until his good health was back.

"I am ready to order," Hillary said changing the topic.

"What are you having?"

She beamed, "Steak. I'm just incredibly famished."

Michael smiled back, "Great!" 

***

Chelsea sat next to Bill on his bed as she told him what happened to her for the past few weeks. Bill's arm draped over Chelsea's shoulder. His fingers playing with her locks. He was half listening to her because he was bothered by how abrupt Hillary left. After listening to his doctor's recommendation, she immediately told them that she needed to go. It was already late and he thought that at that time it would be impossible for Hillary to have any meetings or work on a Sunday night.

"Chelsea -"

Chelsea looked up at him, "Yes?"

"Do you know where your mother went?"

"Oh, she told me she would be seeing Michael."

"Michael?"

Bill felt his gut twisted. _Is she seeing someone?_ He thought. _And who is this Michael?_

"Yeah, Michael Donovan. I think you know him."

"The Michael Donovan, you mean the owner of the DMV and Partners?"

"Yes, that Michael Donovan."

He felt Chelsea moving to face him, and she giggled, “Are you jealous, Dad?”

Bill choked back a laugh. _He? Jealous?_

“No, of course, not. I’m not jealous.” But he felt his cheeks burn.

“Oh, my God, you are jealous!” Chelsea burst out laughing.

“Chelsea,” He called, using that serious voice to get her attention but it just made Chelsea laugh harder.

“No, serious, Dad. I think Mom and Michael are just friends. I confronted Mom about it because I am not happy that they are... friendly.” She said as if she was tasting the word in her mouth.

Bill frowned. _Friendly?_

He did not like the term because when he was being "friendly" that connoted a sexual encounter with the opposite sex. Hillary, on the other hand… it was just too inconceivable. But then, he thought about the past few years after his scandal and Hillary’s liberal and feminist views. Plus, they were separated for three years, and in those three years, a lot could happen. Just like having her own fuck buddy.

“Don’t frown too much, Pops! I am sure that Mom is not dating anyone.”

Bill plastered a smile on his face to pacify Chelsea, but it bothered him that maybe Hillary was already moving on with someone.

 _Well, he pushed her away, didn’t he? He really shouldn’t be surprised_ , he thought sadly.

***

“Alright, that's a pretty good meal,” Michael said leaning back. Hillary smiled at him knowing it is her cue to tell him of the arrangement.

“There's something that I want to tell you, Michael.”

Michael's face changed. He leaned forward in attention.

“Bill will be living with me in Chappaqua to recover.”

“Isn't that hard? I think it is better that he should be in the hospital so if he needs anything, the nurse will be there for him.”

“Can we walk?”

Michael sighed. “I guess it will be a long night," he signaled to the waiter for the bill.

Hillary smiled briefly as she prepared for what was to come.

***

Bill listened as Chelsea read a book to him. They both reclined on the bed with Chelsea's head pillowing his chest. Bill continued to brush her hair with his fingers. In the middle of Chelsea's reading, she stopped and propped herself up to look at him.

“I cannot help it, Dad,” she said.

Bill turned his head toward her voice.

“Why did you leave me and mom?” She added.

Bill's lips straightened, “I told you didn't I?”

“Yeah, the project in India. But I feel there's something more than that….” she trailed, not wanting to drop what was bothering her ever since he left “Did you leave because of mom?”

Bill never admitted it to himself but the reason why he left was that he felt lost. He didn't know what to do after his Presidency. He felt it was too soon for him to retire and he felt that there were few things that he wasn’t able to execute. He just didn't know where to put himself.

But besides that, did he leave because of Hillary?

Well, it was also something he didn’t admit to himself.

He knew it was her time to shine. She drifted away from him as she basked in her glory and he stood back because he didn’t want to steal her spotlight. He knew she could do a lot and she proved that, and so, Bill felt that maybe … after all that he did to her, and after she found her spotlight, maybe he should just let her live her life without him.

When he told her about India, he desperately wanted her to tell him to stay, that she still needed him.

But she didn’t.

So he left.

He smiled but his eyes didn’t reach his eyes, “What made you say that?”

Chelsea just shook her head, “I could feel it, Dad. Even though you tried to pretend that there’s nothing wrong. I just can feel it.”

“Chel…”

She reached for his hand, “I am old enough, Dad. If you think whatever is best, I’ll go with it. Whatever you think could make you both happy, I’ll be here to you support you.”

Bill felt someone just knocked the air off him. Chelsea was just giving them her blessing. It was now up to him and Hillary to decide on the fate of their marriage.

***

Hillary explained the situation to Michael - that Bill would live with her in Chappaqua and she would be working from her home until his vision returned. She also told him that his frequent visit would be put to halt.

She saw the bunching of Michael’s jaw and knew he was angry. He was biting his lips - probably to refrain from speaking until she finished what she had to say. But when she did, he remained silent.

“I know what you are going to say…” She said.

Michael looked up at the dark sky as if he was trying to get hold of his emotion then he looked at her. Hillary was surprised by the sadness she saw in his face and the red rim of his eyes. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

“Hillary…” He trailed, then shook his head again. “You know what I am going to say to you…” He held her gaze and exhaled again. The white smoke from the cold escaped his lips. “I don’t know why you keep on doing this...”

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you take him back?”

Hillary looked at him, not knowing the answer. Well, not wanting to know the real answer in her heart.

Michael spread his arms, “You don’t have to be the one to take care of him, you know that. You both are already virtually separated for three years. You don’t know anything about taking care of a blind person. You know that the hospital can do better, but here you are offering yourself again. You are again throwing your life for him.”

“I told you --”

“I know he is your husband. Frankly, this is me talking not as a man who is so God damn in love with you and who is willing to wait for you, but this is me talking as someone who truly cares about you.” He took a step and gently held both of her arms.

“If you take him back, and you take care of him, I know you will fall in love with him again.”

Hillary shook her head, “You don’t know that.”

Michael almost laughed, “You keep on stalling on your divorce because you know that you still love him.” He stepped closer that Hillary had to tip her head back to look at him. “You don’t want to admit it to yourself, but that’s the reason why. I don’t get it… why do you allow yourself to be hurt by him again and again?”

Hillary felt her tears rolling down her cheeks and she didn’t notice it. Michael pressed his forehead against hers. “I am afraid that you will fall in love with him again and he will just hurt you.”

“Michael…” She closed her eyes because she knew the truth of his words.

“He did it before… many times… and he will do it again.” He pulled back and cupped her cheek and brushed her tears. "You don't have to do this..."

She remained quiet.

“Please…” he whispered achingly, “save yourself.”

She pulled back and shook her head. “I have to go, Michael.” She sobbed, “I’m so sorry, I have to go.”

***

**2003, New York, New York - 11:00 PM**

Hillary went back to her office as she spent a good amount of time thinking about what Michael told her. She was staring blankly and sniffed as her tears rolled down her cheek. She took the tissue next to her and wiped her cheeks.

She understood why she couldn’t let Bill go. The reason why she kept on stalling on their divorce because she was still hopeful about them, in spite of the fact that she had not forgiven him fully. She was hopeful that she would be able to forgive him entirely without hurting anymore. But she just couldn’t give her one hundred percent forgiveness just yet because she couldn’t even trust him to be faithful to her. Divorce wouldn't cure her pain. It wouldn't cure anything. Besides, she couldn't divorce him. Because ... well, Michael was right. In spite of it all, in spite of the pain and humiliation, he caused her - she still loved him.

She dropped her head on her hands as fresh new tears rolled down her cheeks. Damn her to hell, she loved him, and that made her angry. She honestly tried to fall in love with Michael but she just couldn’t.

She loved Bill and she never stopped loving him.

***

**2003, Presbyterian Hospital, New York - 2:00 AM**

Hillary quietly entered Bill’s dimmed room and saw him quietly sleeping. She sat on the seat next to his bed. She looked at his face, his covered eyes, his slightly parted lips, his salt and pepper hair. Her eyes landed on his hand and saw that he was still wearing their wedding ring.

She felt her heart crushed looking at their wedding ring. The one that she slid into his finger.

The reason why she wanted to be the one to take care of Bill because it would be a way for them to save what was left of their marriage. She was hopeful that maybe they could save their marriage, and maybe she would be able to forgive him then.

If there was just a way for her to forgive him without resorting to this, she would do it. But nothing worked and she hoped someone could give her some answer.

She reached to touch the back of his hand, her thumb gently rubbing the veined skin.

She looked at his face as she whispered, “How do you forgive?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it. Thank you so much for your continued support.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

When Bill woke up he felt a hand holding his. He moved his hand gently until he could graze the person's skin with his thumb. But even without seeing who it was, the size of hand and familiar texture of the skin told him what he needed to know to identify the owner - Hillary.

He didn't know that she came into his room. Chelsea was the last person who left his room and it was past eleven in the evening. He didn't hear anyone coming. Hillary probably arrived an hour or so after Chelsea left because he was not able to sleep well thinking about Hillary and her friend. So, he surmised that she came in after he fell asleep.

Whatever her reason was he felt a sense of relief since she chose to spend the night in his bedroom than her spending the night with her friend.

His slight movements caused her to stir. Hillary looked up at Bill and she was relieved that he was still asleep. She gently and quietly pulled her hand away hoping not to wake him up. She checked her watch and was surprised that she overslept. She patted her hair and picked up her coat before heading towards the door - hoping that no one would see that she spent the night inside his room.

She took a last look at Bill. She would be taking him home later. 

Bill heard the door clicked. Hillary just left.

He was deciding earlier whether to tell her to stay but then he was caught tongue-tied. She thought he was asleep, so it dawned on him that she didn’t want him to know that she spent the night there next to him so he let her believed that.

#####

**1998, Washington DC, White House**

This dance of avoidance usually happened to them when they both retire to their bedroom. In order to prevent that awkward silence, Hillary usually pretended to sleep. But that time, she did not expect Bill to arrive early. She was sitting in front of the vanity in her satin nightgown finishing up her night cream on her face when Bill entered the room.

She slightly turned her head but turned back to the mirror pretending that she did not care that he arrived. Bill was still wearing his white shirt, his necktie was already loose. His hair looked like he had brushed them using his fingers repeatedly. He was preparing for his impeachment and it was causing him too much stress, and it was evident in his face and in the way he moved.

Hillary didn't want to be too unfeeling. While she was hurt, she still believed that he was the best person to lead the country. He needed her support. She needed to help him endure this challenge. So intead of carrying on her usual pretense, she decided to let it go in the meantime. 

Bill was just taking off his cufflinks when he saw Hillary stood. He looked up. He wasn't expecting her to notice him just like what she was doing for the past few months, but she approached him this time.

He stopped doing what he was doing as she came to him. He gaped at her. Hillary, wearing that silk blue robe nightgown without her bra, gave him a view of her nipples.

The soft sway of her hips, her nipples peaking against her dress, plus her fresh from the shower scent, and her clear skin were addling his brain. As she stood in front of him, she reached to help him with his cufflink, but his other hand caught her wrist.

His sudden movement surprised her. He was supposed to tell her that he could do it, but he was just consumed by her look that night that instead of doing what he intended to do, he swooped down and kissed her.

He pulled back surprised by what he did, Hillary looked at him with the same shocked expression.

“I'm s—”

_Slap_

Bill's head swung as his cheek met with Hillary's palm, his cheek stung. He touched his cheek, his eyes never leaving hers. Her eyes were stormy, and she was again angry with him. Instead of saying something to apologize, he quickly reached for her arm and pulled that she ended up pressing her body with his.

He kissed her again, but she pushed and slapped him again harder. He stepped back with the impact but then she pulled him to her and she kissed him this time.

It was six months ago since they shared a bed, now six months after, with so much anger, stress, hurt and longing, they were both driven on the edge. Their pent up emotion exploded that drove their desire to something dark. Their teeth banged, their kisses were clumsy as they both fought for domination. Hillary kept pulling him that Bill almost stumbled. She kept pulling until they reached her vanity table. Bill's hands reached under her buttocks as he helped her up so she could sit on the table.

_Flop flop flop_

They did not mind that some of the items on the table rolled and fell on the carpeted floor. Their lips were still locked with each other. Bill's hand cupping her breast. He wanted to feel her nipples against the skin of his hand and since he couldn't reach enough, he tugged her dress.

_Riiiiipppp_

The side of her gown ripped and it provided him access. His hand cupping her breast his palm rubbing against her hardened nipple inciting a moan from her.

Her hand running on his back until she reached the back of his head. Her hand gently tugged his hair, unlatched his mouth from hers: “Fuck me,” she gasped.

Bill held her gaze thinking if he heard her right, but when she didn't say anything, he immediately moved. His other hand reaching the under her gown held the garter of her underwear and he pulled them off.

He felt his heart thundering against his chest, his sweat rolling down his temple as he unbuckled his belt. His eyes never left hers as he freed his shaft. The look of Hillary reclining on the table with her legs spread (and him standing in between), and her lips red and parted, and with her breast exposed through the rip of the dress, made Bill lose control. The moment that he unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his pants and released his member, he was already hard.

His other hand angled her leg spreading her open.

Hillary held her breath anticipating and then threw her head back when she felt the head of Bill’s cock pushing against her entrance.

“Fuck me hard! Hurry,” she rasped. And then he was exactly doing that. His hips moving fast wanting them to reach orgasm soon. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He angled her legs to give him better access, Hillary threw her head back and a groan escaped her when his knob directly hitting her sensitive spot.

“Yes! YES!” She begged in a desperate whisper, then she reached Bill's shirt pulling him. She wanted his kisses, but she pulled him hard that sent the few buttons of his shirt flying. It didn't stop her though, she captured his lips but she ended up biting him.

“Fuck!” Bill exclaimed.

He pulled back and touched his tongue on the part where she bit, and he tasted the metallic tang of his blood.

The smell of sex surrounding them intoxicated them. Hillary couldn't move. She was impaled, filled, stretched—pinned to the table. While Bill was driven with the need to push and push deeper into her.

He reached between their body, touching her hardened pearl, and the moment that his finger touched her, she exploded.

She let out a loud moan and said his name as waves of orgasm hit her. Bill stopped moving to allow himself to enjoy the caress of her muscles. He continued his finger circulating against her nub until her muscles relaxed.

She was still recovering from her orgasm when Bill started moving again, and after a few solid thrusts, he came. He groaned as he spurted his seed inside her. She held him - brushing her hand on the back of his head urging him.

The way she caressed him in spite of what he had done, the way she continued to believe in him undid him. _How could he deserve her? He didn't_ , but he missed her and he loved her. He was so sorry he did this to them.

He felt a prickle in his eyes, a sob followed, then he cried.

#####

**2003, Chappaqua, New York**

Hillary and Bill sat next to each other quietly as they wait for their arrival at home. They didn't speak - only when necessary. Hillary gazed outside just watching the passing view. She turned her gaze to Bill who was sitting erect holding the folded guide cane as if it was his lifeline.

Earlier, when they left the hospital, Hillary walked with her arm crossed with his - guiding him as Bill used his stick with his other hand. They prepared for that moment because the paparazzi would want to get a glimpse of him being invalid and blind. But Hillary protected him by ensuring that he was cleaned up and dressed well. They wouldn't see him weak.

Hillary sighed and scooted next to him. He stiffened and that made her hesitate for a while. She wondered: _why does he tensed up when she comes closer_?

“Are you ready?” She whispered, her hand gave a comforting rub on his arm.

Bill nodded. “I am not sure if this arrangement will benefit you.”

“I want this.”

Bill shrugged.

Hillary looked forward as they stopped in front of their home. The secret service opened the door.

Hillary got out first, the secret service, stood on guard in case he fell. When Hillary alighted the car, the secret service helped Bill alight. He tipped his head up as warm air greeted him.

He heard a bark and he turned to the sound. “Is that Buddy?” He asked a smile appeared on his face. Hillary looked at Bill who was smiling hearing his dog's bark. He crouched, “Let me touch my dog."

The agent held Buddy's leash as Buddy came near him. Buddy gave him a few kisses as Bill held his dog's face kissing the top his head. “I will play with you again soon, Buddy,” he said petting him.

He stood up and he reached to clutched Hillary's arm again as they made their way into their home.

Some of Hillary's aide that walked by her side told her about her temporary movement in Chappaqua and its implication to her work. Bill tried not to eavesdrop but he couldn't help but be alerted when he heard the aide say: “Michael also called earlier, he asked if you can call him back.”

Bill felt the hairs on his nape stood up as jealousy engulfed him. He wanted to tell the aide to tell him to fuck off but he bit his tongue. He tried to remember his place in Hillary's life - he might be her husband, but as it seemed, they were only together temporarily. 

Hillary did not react to that, she just nodded. She would call Michael but not today. She needed to ensure to settle Bill first.

She guided him inside their house as one of the teachers for the blind told Hillary how to get Bill settled.

“Consistency is important. He should be familiar with the location of each room, where each of the items is placed. It needs to be consistent.”

Bill and Hillary listened as well as some of their staff who would be with them. They had Bill settled in the master's bedroom and the teacher asked if she could talk to Hillary alone. “Senator, I understand that you want to be the one to take care of the President, but I have to warn you that he will be very dependent on you. You have to train him where is the kitchen, where is the fridge, where is the milk, where is the water, how to clean himself.”

The teacher did not directly tell her how this dependency would affect her work. Hillary nodded. She wasn't at least worried that she might not be able to carry out her work, because she could.

“Thank you, I appreciate the warning.”

After all of the things that they need to arranged were taken care of. She went back to her bedroom and found Bill standing next to the window. She felt her heart jumped to her throat. _Can he see?_

“Bill?” She asked, closing the door behind her.

She walked to him. He already removed his sunglasses. She stood beside him and faced him. His eyes were still the same he just looked like he was always staring at something afar.

"How did you manage to get here?" She asked.

He smiled lopsidedly, "I asked the agent if he could direct me to the window."

She chuckled. _Of course._

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

Bill nodded. He stalled then asked coyly, “Will you be sleeping next to me?” 

She tilted her head to the side observing him. She wondered what he was thinking. “Yes, of course, I will.”

He nodded again. He moved his hand and reached to hold hers, “Thank you. Thank you for doing this.”

Hillary nodded, “Of course.”

“Hillary,” He said. He said her name as _Hi'ry_. He held his breath as he wanted to do something he wanted to do since earlier. “Can I touch your face?”

Hillary hesitated but then she slowly reached for his hand and guided it to touch her cheek. Bill turned his head down as if he was looking at her. His face straight, his throat felt dry as if he swallowed a sand. He was trying to picture Hillary's face with his touch. Her cheeks were still the same, he moved his hand, tracing every corner, he felt her nose, her closed eyes, her jaw, the curve of her ears, the slope of her neck. He reached to touch her hair - feeling and imagining her hair cut. It was still trimmed short exactly how it looked like before he left America. He wondered if her dark roots were showing.

Hillary was holding her breath while feeling her knees weak. Goosebumps were all over her arms as she savored Bill's touch. It was so long since anyone touched her with such gentleness and reverence. She was tempted to lean to his touch but held herself.

Bill cupped her face as his thumb brushed her lips sending electricity through her body. Igniting the nerves that were long dormant.

 _Oh, my God,_ she thought. It was only their first day together and she was already in danger as her body responded to him.

Michael was right, there was no chance for her not to fall in love with him. _Is she ready?_

“Hill—”

Someone knocked and they both turned to the sound, the door opened, it was Chelsea.

Bill took a step back. He was glad for the interruption. He didn't know what he was thinking why he indulged to the desire to touch her again when he told himself that he needed to distance himself, so when he gets better, he would give her the freedom she wanted and she so deserve — their divorce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmkay, this is a struggle to write. My grammar is all over the place.  
> But I hope you like it!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

“Dad!” Chelsea called.

Bill smiled and extended his arm, then felt Chelsea's arms wrapped around him. He dropped a kiss on her head, wrapping his arms around her. He felt full having his family surrounding him.

“I am so glad you are home,” She said after she pulled back.

“I am glad to be here too,” Bill whispered.

Hillary watched them with her hands clasped together against her chest. For all Bill's flaws, he was a good father to Chelsea.

“Can I steal him?” Chelsea asked her, her arms still around Bill.

Hillary touched Chelsea's chin. _How can she refuse?_ “Of course.”

While Hillary left Chelsea with Bill, she retreated to her office and contacted Michael.

“I am glad you've called,” Michael greeted. “How are you?”

Hillary gripped the phone like her anchor. She didn't like how her body easily responded to Bill's touch. She needed to work their issues rationally than have her heart decide for her.

“I am okay, Michael.” She shook her head, “Why did you want me to call?”

“Well, my good friend Anderson just join our little band.”

Hillary was working on a pact for New York big corporations to support equal wages for women. She needed the support of CEOs, Founders, and relevant stakeholders to support her pact. It was her project with Michael and Michael worked as her middleman.

“That's good news!” She gushed. “I cannot believe you actually did it.”

“Well, I told you I will get it done.”

“I am really thankful for your friendship and leadership, Michael. So how many more do we have to work on?"

"Leave it all to me. Focus on what you are doing right now, Hill. I want you to sort out whatever issue you have at home."

Hillary sighed. "Thank you so much for understanding me."

She felt Michael smiled at the end of the line. "It's nothing, Hill. But you owe me a dinner."

Hillary laughed. "Yes, I will."

Silence followed. There was a twinge of sadness between them. Hillary thought that if she wasn't married, and she met Michael in different circumstances, she would have married him. Never in their three years of friendship that he failed her.

“I'll see you soon, Hill.”

“Bye.”

Later that afternoon, Chelsea invited Bill and Hillary to take a walk in the nearby woods. Bill and Hillary indulged her. The smell of the crispy dried leaves surrounded them. The sound of crackling leaves, crickets chirping and the faint sound of a few passing cars from the distance was relaxing and just perfect for an afternoon stroll.

Bill held his guide cane while his other arm locked with Chelsea’s. Hillary was walking beside her while she held Buddy's leash in her other hand.

Bill was glad that Chelsea was with them so he could avoid any interaction with Hillary. He entertained Chelsea with his stories so she wouldn't leave his side. But when their group bumped with Chelsea's friend, Chelsea opted to join them.

“I'll join my friends in the meantime, Dad.”

“Uhh, okay,” came his reply.

When Chelsea left he felt Hillary came closer to him. “So…” Hillary started.

Bill chuckled.

“What's funny?” She asked as they continued walking.

“This is like an awkward first date, huh?” He said drolly.

Hillary laughed loudly - that made some of the agents turn to look at them. “After three years that we've been separated, I have to say that we have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Indeed,” Bill said smiling.

Bill was wearing a dark blue sweater under a white collared shirt, and a brown wool coat. His eyes were no longer concealed, his cheeks were no longer hollowed. He was already starting to gain again the pounds he lost. The only thing that they were waiting for was his sight to return. The doctor told them that the result of his latest examination was good - that Bill's vision might return sooner. But even with Bill's blindness, he never lost his charisma and his good looks.

They stopped on a nearby pond where others were resting. Bill and Hillary stood side by side

Hillary looked at Bill who seemed to be taking in the surroundings. She felt sad that he couldn't see the beauty of nature in front of them. He must be thinking of the same thing because, without turning to her, he asked: Can you tell me what it looks like?

Hillary smiled and took his hand - clasping his large hand with her small ones. She took him to a nearby bench and sat closer to him.

“Well…” She started as they settled down. “A few meters where we are sitting - is a pond, beyond that there's a luscious of trees that are now in hues of orange, brown, and red —”

“Wait, ” Bill said, touching her arm. “Don’t go to the woods yet. What does the pond looks like?”

Hillary giggled. “I am not one of your favorite authors to provide an apt description…”

Bill smiled, “Come on, try it.” He coaxed, but before Hillary tried again, he added, “Also, who told you that you are not one of my favorite authors?” He turned to her as if he could see her. “You wrote your book splendidly, Hillary.”

Hillary felt her cheeks heated by his compliment.“Okay, let me try again. The pond in front of us is murky like that of a green matcha tea.”

Bill laughed out loud. “You are going to ruin that tea for me." He was still laughing, but then told her: "Go on, continue with your observation skills.”

Hillary giggled at his jest. “Ah, more of this, I am sure I will be an expert soon.”

“I'm sure you will,” Bill whispered looking at her.

He wished he could see her face. He was so sure that she was smiling at him. Unconsciously, his hand moved and was about to touch her cheek when Chelsea arrived.

“I've been looking for both of you!”

Bill dropped his arm. Chelsea sat next to Hillary. “Are you ready to walk again?” He heard Hillary asked.

“Yup, let's go.”

***

Later that dinner, Chelsea excused herself saying that she would be staying with her friends who just arrived from abroad, so Hillary and Bill had their dinner for only the two of them. She sat next to him to help him with the pasta. Hillary instructed Bill where his utensils were located, but with her constant instructions, it was distracting his focus.

“Let me try, Hill,” he said stopping her.

Bill placed his hand on the table slowly touching each utensil. Hillary watched as his long fingers graze the body of each tool, the tip of his index finger feathered on the steel. The way he focused and gazed at what he was touching made Hillary suddenly aroused. She wanted all his gentleness, browsing over her body with his hands and mouth until she was quivering and lifting to his touch. She took a deep breath. _Stop, idiot. Don't let your sad and lonely vagina talk to you._

But then she remembered how those hands brought her to pleasure - how his fingers could ignite sparks all over her body and brought her to bliss.

Bill gripped the handle of the fork. His movement distracted Hillary, she rubbed her temple ashamed by the trail of her thoughts. _Stop, just stop._

“This is pasta, right?”

She looked up at him, “Y-Yes,” she replied, her response came as a breathless whisper.

Bill nodded. He hovered his fork then moved it in the center in front of his chest. “Is this it?” He asked.

“Yes,” she replied.

Bill slowly dipped his fork until he felt his fork touched the soft body of the linguine. He smiled and twirled them. “Tell me when to stop.”

Why did that instruction suddenly sound familiar? Oh, for fuck sake, she remembered how he fucked her in her office in the West Wing.

 _Don't stop,_ came her breathless response as he pinned her against the wall.

She shook her head feeling warm all over.

“Stop!” she said it more forcefully that Bill's head snapped towards her.

“Too much?” he asked.

Hillary looked at the bundle of pasta twirled on his fork. “Yes, too much.”

Bill smiled and instead of undoing his work he put it the pasta into his mouth. The tomato sauce caught on the side of his lips. Hillary came closer and cleaned it up using the tissue.

“You did well,” she whispered.

They ate in between good stories and laugh while drinking wine.

“Enough with the wine,” Hillary said taking Bill's goblet.

“Why? I am still having fun.”

Hillary giggled, “I will not have fun later when you are drunk.”

“Alright, Babe,” Bill acquiesced, but paused when he realized that he used the term of endearment that he used to use before.

Hillary noticed too but she let it slide. “Done?” She asked after a while.

“Yeah.”

Bill and Hillary walked side by side to return to their bedroom. “Umm,” Bill said.

Hillary looked at him.

“With the shower, you just have to tell me where the soap is and I can take care of the rest.”

“I'll be within reach.”

Bill nodded.

Hillary took Bill to their comfort room. Their comfort room was so large it could be another room. The white walls and white marble floors made their bathroom more spacious and bigger. The bathtub was located in one corner opposite of the shower. The shower had a glass door. The showerhead was very modern that it mimics rainfall. There were two sinks too - one for him and one for her.

The floor felt cold against Hillary's bare feet. She took Bill's hands as she guided Bill to the shower.  “Four steps from this shower door is where you place your clothes.”

They both counted steps until Bill reached the steel rack. “From here, if you turn right and take six steps, you'll reach the shower.”

Bill nodded. He tried to do it on his own. Hillary allowed him, giving him space to figure it out on his own, but she followed in case he missed a step.

After taking his sixth step, Hillary reached for his hand and placed it on the knob. “The right one makes the water cold,” she directed his hand to the other one, “The left one makes the water hot.” she waited for him to take the information. “On your right is where the toiletries are.” Bill reached where the toiletries were. "The shampoo on the extreme right corner, the soap on the left." Bill felt each item.

When Hillary was done giving the instruction, Bill went back to the rack and started taking off his clothes.

“I'll be outside to watch,“ she said when she saw that he was getting ready.

“You're going to watch me take a shower?”

Hillary felt like she swallowed her tongue. “No, I am not going to _watch_ you take a shower,” she reasoned weakly. “I'll be standing… With my back turned… I did not mean…“

“Hillary, my question is answerable by yes or no. I am only asking if you'll watch," he responded amusedly.

“Yes, I will watch but not in whatever you are trying to imply," she reprimanded.

Bill chuckled. He was already nude then. He counted the steps going to the shower.

Hillary felt her cheeks burn but felt the need to be defensive. “Maybe you've forgotten that we are married for more than twenty years. So even if I see you now…”

Bill turned where she was standing.

 _Wow_ , she thought. She forgot that Bill was huge. She felt a delicious ache in her thighs, but then she rubbed forehead. She needed to get out of there.

“I'll get your shirt,” she excused.

Hillary waited for Bill to finish. She was already wearing a robe herself as she would be taking her shower after. When Bill got out he was wearing a robe. His hair was sticking in a different direction which she found adorable.

“Hillary —”

“I am here, ” she said. She walked up to him handing him another towel. “For your hair.”

Bill gave her a lopsided smile and took it from her hand. “So where is the sink?” He asked.

Hillary touched his arm and guided him where the sink was. Bill placed the towel she handed on the flat surface of the sink. “Uh-oh, ”

Hillary looked at him. “I can't shave,” he said.

“You hardly even have any facial hair.”

Bill chuckled. He searched for her hand and guided them on his jaw. “It’s not thick, but it's there.”

Hillary nodded. “Of course. Wait. I am going to get you a stool. I will help you shave.”

When she got Bill sitting on a stool, she took the shaving foam and spread it on his jaw and around his mouth.

“Pull back your lips, ” Hillary instructed coating the skin under his lips.

When she successfully coated his jaw and around his lips with the lather, she took the razor.

“Stand,” she instructed. Bill stood facing her. His hands on her hips.

“Be careful,” Bill whispered. She nodded. She pressed the razor on his skin and gently glided them. She watched his reaction and felt satisfaction in her work.

Hillary found something intimate in doing the task. They stood close with his hands on her hips. His fresh scent smell and his exposed neck did strange good things to her. It felt like she swallowed a lump of honey. If she could, she wanted to press her nose to the hollow between his collarbones, press her body against his like a cat in indulgence.

When she was done with the razor, she took the nearby towel and soaked it with warm water, pressed it against his jaw, and then took an aftershave lotion and applied it on the areas that she shaved. After, Bill's tipped his head down as if he was looking at her. "Done?" He asked.

“Done,” she said. It came out as a breathless whisper.

“Thanks,” Bill replied. A lingering smile on his lips that made her stomach flutter. For a while, Hillary thought he would kiss her but he didn't.

“Help me back in the bedroom?” He asked boyishly.

Hillary shook her head as if to clear her mind from her illusions.

***

After Hillary finished her shower and went back to their bedroom she found Bill sitting on their bed with his legs stretched under the covers. He was wearing a shirt that she gave him. Instead of giving him a pajama set, she gave him a plain shirt and boxers because it was more convenient for him to wear than pajama.

He turned to her when she arrived. She sat on her side of the bed - feeling a bit awkward. She reached for her side of the lamp and turned it off.

She turned to him, “Let’s sleep.”

“Did you turn off the lights?” He asked whispering.

“Yes.”

Bill laid on the bed with his hands on his chest. Their bed was big he couldn’t feel Hillary sleeping beside him. She was probably providing them space.

“What time is it?” He asked.

“It’s eleven,” she responded. Hillary turned to her side and looked at Bill's profile that was turned to her. His eyes turned to the ceiling. “If you are in India right now and you are okay, what will you be doing?” She asked.

He wetted his lips first before responding. “At this time, I'll be on my working table writing on my journal. If not, I'll be sitting outside my tent and watching the stars.”

Silence.

“You know, when you live in a place without the luxury of even a comfortable bed, you begin to appreciate small things. When we were in the White House, I never had the chance to just sit still and watch the stars. When I was in India I marveled at the constellations I could find.”

Hillary wondered about something and she didn't want to ask it, but then, her curiosity got the best of her: “Did you think about us while you are there?”

A small smile appeared on his face. “There was no day or night that I did not think of you and Chelsea.”

She wanted to ask why he decided to leave, but then he cut her and asked in return. “You, what are you doing at this time?”

“I read or think about my meetings the next day and wait until I fall asleep.”

Bill bit his tongue from asking if she ever thought about him. But it seemed like she read his thought because she said: “Sometimes… I think about you.”

Bill gazed at her, surprised by her admission. “You do?”

“Of course, but…” she lingered, “I do not want to think about you often.”

“Why is that?”

She sighed, “Sometimes it hurts to think about you.”

Bill felt his throat closed. It was the first time that she allowed herself to share her feelings for him.

“Hill—” he called. They had a lot of things to talk about. He turned to his side now facing her.

“Where are you?” He asked.

“I am here.”

“This bed is so big I don't even know if you are with me.” He said in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Anyway, what I am saying is, you know why I left America. Besides, you seem to be fine that I am leaving—”

“Who told you?”

“Why didn't you stop me?”

“What?” She asked, outraged. “Why do I have to stop you?! I am not going to dictate how you should live your life.”

Bill paused realizing that they were treading to uneven grounds. He took a deep breath and said, “I don't want to argue with you, Hill. Not this time.”

“But we need to talk about this, Bill.”

“Yes, but not this time.”

“Then when?” She asked, infuriated.

 _When I have finalized our divorce,_ he thought. “Let’s take it one step at a time. Let's talk about this tomorrow when we take our walk. You and I.”

Hillary quickly wiped a tear that escaped her eyes in frustration. Bill heard her sniff. _Oh, God_ , he thought. _He made her cry again._

He reached for her arm, “What are you doing?” Hillary asked.

“You're crying.”

“I'm not!” She said outrageously.

“You are a lousy liar to me, ” Bill said gently pulling her to come closer.

“I know you are upset, and you are still angry for all the things that I've done to you. We cannot fix everything right now and it's late, but, at least, let me hold you tonight. You can fight with me tomorrow.” He ended.

_No, definitely not._

Bill maneuvered her until she was tucked on his side, her head pillowing his arm, her arm draped across his body. He was caressing her - calming her down. She didn't understand what was happening to her: a minute ago, when he brought up why he left, that made her angry, but now she was accepting his embrace. It was infuriating but also confusing because what was happening was too fast - all emotion and less common sense. She wiped her tears on his chest because she was afraid that she might be defeated by her sense of longing for him, instead of thinking about what she deserved.

She sniffed and put all of her worries to rest in the meantime. She would savor this night and indulge in the illusion that they were okay. Bill probably thought the same because he dropped a kiss on her forehead and held her - exactly as he said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, I tend to get confused with my direction.  
> YIKES.  
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> I miss Hillary and Bill :<


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

When Hillary woke up, she was lying on her side with Bill spooning her. She looked over her shoulders to look at him but she saw that he was deeply asleep. She could hear movements outside and frowned remembering that some of her staff would be working in her home in the meantime.

She gently turned not wanting to wake him up, but then gasped when she felt his shaft hard behind her. _Of course, he got a morning erection_. She could feel him under her buttocks.

 _Oh, My God,_ she thought. She took a deep breath as morning arousal engulfed her. How many times did they take care of his morning erection? _Oh, yes, many times._

Although the temptation of her taking care of his needs was overwhelming - she didn't indulge. It would complicate things for her if she ended up sleeping with him soon without addressing their issues.

 _Just one touch_ , her traitorous mind told her.

Bill fluttered his eyelids and immediately he felt the delicious ache on his thighs - tightening his balls. _Jesus_ , he thought. His cock was hard as a baseball bat. After almost fours years of not sleeping with anyone, his cock was back with vengeance. The feel of Hillary's body pressing against him was making him hard.

Geez, he thought. He was so tempted to make love to her but not yet - not until they sorted out their problems.

“Hey,” He heard Hillary say. Her voice was hoarse and breathless.

“Hey,” He replied in the same tone. He felt her moved to face him, then she scooted closer.

Bill felt the wild beating of his heart. _Oh, God_ , he thought. _Is she going to kiss him?_ If Hillary kissed him, he would lose the only last resistance that he had. He did not know if he could even control himself if she started kissing him.

“Bill…” He heard her call.

"Yes?"

 _Is she coming closer?_ His mind was frantic. His senses heightened. His inability to see made his other senses more sensitive. His sense of touch told him that she was hovering above him, could feel the warmth of her body, could even feel her heart galloping wildly like his. He could hear her how breathless she was, the small sighs, the faint purrs. He could smell her arousal mixed with the smell of her skin. _Oh, God_ , he knew that if he touched her core she would be warm and wet.

He felt her so close, her face above his, her lips hovered above his. He opened his mouth.

“Billy…” she said as his hand coming to her waist.

_Knock knock knock_

Then she was gone. Hillary rolled away from Bill catching her breath. _Damnit!_  She thought. She brushed her hand over her warm face.

“Come in!”

Her aide, Huma, gently pushed open the door. “Senator, I am sorry but it's already eight in the morning and we have a nine AM meeting with the city mayor.”

“Okay. Give me a minute.”

She turned to look at Bill who was now lying with his head turned to the ceiling. “Go,” he said.

“What about—”

“I will take care of it.”

Hillary nodded and then left to take her shower. Bill stayed on the bed waiting - willing his muscles to relax. “Shit,” he muttered rolling on the bed pressing his face on the pillow.

Hillary stood in the shower as water ran down on her body, cooling her warmed skin. There was no mistake, Bill wanted her as much as she wanted him. Bill, however, was restraining himself. She saw it by how he gripped the bed sheet as she hovered above him. She wondered if they were sharing the same hesitation?

When she finished taking her shower, she found Bill standing near the window. He was wearing his blue robe. She went to him. “Are you okay?” She asked.

Bill turned his head to her, and Hillary found herself resisting the urge in pressing her body to his. She just missed him so much.

He smiled coyly, “Yes, I am now.”

“About our talk, let’s do that later? We really need to talk.”

Bill cupped the side of her face with his hand, “Of course.”

#####

**1997, Washington DC, White House**

Hillary was waiting for Bill for two hours already after he said that he needed to extend his work to talk to someone. She waited in their bedroom reading her book while he was still in the Oval Office. There were times that Hillary worries that they allowed their work to get in the way of their relationship too much and that they were taking their relationship for granted.

She gazed at the door when she heard the knob turned. Bill entered their bedroom quietly. He was still wearing that white collared shirt, the sleeves were rolled, the few top buttons were open, his shirt already untucked.

Bill intended to arrive quietly thinking that Hillary might be asleep, but when he saw her still awake, he looked at her like deer caught in a headlight.

“You’re still awake?” He asked casually.

“I am waiting for you.”

Bill nodded and went to the comfort room.

“Who did you talk to?” She asked.

“Sid,” he said dismissively, his voice muffled as he went to the comfort room to clean himself.

Hillary wrinkled her forehead, thinking how odd it was for him to talk to Sid at this time on a weekend, but she let it not bother her.

After a while, Bill emerged from the comfort room and went to bed. He was trying to avoid her eyes by looking down at the bed. He pretended to be busy taking off the covers on his side of the bed. When he tucked himself under the comforter, he reached the bedside lamp beside him and turned it off.

“Good night,” he said, lying on his side away from her.

Hillary pulled her legs up to her chest until she could wrap her arms around it. She looked at Bill whose back was turned to her. She sighed, thinking about how she could bring back the warmth between them. Sometimes, she thought, she hated that they were in this position.

Bill turned to face her after a while, “What’s up?” He asked.

Hillary looked at him and scooted closer. She laid on her side until they were looking at each other. She gazed lovingly at him.

He reached to brush her hair. “What are you thinking,” he whispered.

“I miss you,” She said in the same hushed tone. She reached for his hand and kissed the center of his palm.

Bill smiled at her but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. "Let's sleep," he invited. He gently positioned her until she was tucked on his side.

He absentmindedly caressed her arms - feeling guilty of the fact that he just lied to her about who he spent talking to. He couldn’t get the guilt nagging behind his head. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, just to block the image of Hillary gazing at him lovingly because he knew he was just going to hurt her.

  
#####

**2003, New York, New York**

Hillary sat next to Michael while the discussion about their pact with their partners was ongoing. One of the leads from the Equality Now was presenting when Michael slipped a note to Hillary's lap. She looked down where Michael left the note.

She reached for the paper and unfolded it.

_Dinner tonight?_

Hillary picked a pen on the table and wrote: _I can’t._

_Why?_

_Bill._

Hillary looked at him when she gave that response and saw Michael frowned.

_Can I take you home instead? Please?_

Hillary didn’t really want to because of her promise to Bill, but she had been turning down his offer to hang out and felt guilty after all the help that he did for her project. She sighed at his plea and responded: _Okay._

_Thank you. You look really wonderful today, Hillary._

Hillary felt her breath caught by that unexpected compliment. She gazed at him and Michael looked at her lovingly. She felt a shiver ran down her spine because she knew that gaze. She used to look at Bill with such adoration as if she was willing to give him the world. Looking at Michael’s eyes, she saw her own, and just like what happened to her, she knew the likeliness of his heart going to break eventually.

***

“Dad, you have to eat,” Chelsea coaxed.

Bill smiled, “I am not really hungry, Darling.” Well, I am waiting for your mother, he thought. “You finish your dinner.”

“I am not going to eat until you join me,” She insisted. She forked a slice of steak. “Take a bite please,” she said ignoring Bill’s frown. “Mom will think that I am doing a lousy job of taking care of you.”

Bill chuckled and indulged her. He opened his mouth as Chelsea fed him. “What time is it?” He asked in between his chewing.

“Seven,” She started putting salad and slice of flank steak on his plate. "You are going to eat this salad and steak."

"Chel..." Bill warned.

"No, besides, if Mom arrives I want you all done for dinner."

He wanted to ask Chelsea if she knew what time Hillary would arrive. It was tempting but he didn’t do so, he didn’t want to appear needy.

When they were done eating, they both heard someone arrived. Chelsea stood up, “Well, they are here.”

“They?” Bill asked turning his head towards the noise.

“Mom and Michael.”

Bill’s frown deepened. _Great_.

“Heyyyy!” Hillary greeted as she approached them in the dining room. Chelsea went to her and she enclosed her arms around her daughter and dropped a kiss to her cheeks. “I'm glad that you are still here. Are you going to stay here for the night?”

“Yes!”

“Look who’s with me," she said turning to Michael who was standing behind them.

“Michael!” She said and Chelsea went to Michael giving him a hug.

Hillary gazed at Bill who stood next to the table. She approached him.

“Hey,” She softly said.

“Hey,” Bill greeted. He felt her come closer and gave him a kiss on a cheek. “I’m sorry I’m late,” she whispered.

Bill just kept a straight face.

“Hill…” Michael said.

Hillary looked again at Michael who was standing next to Chelsea. “Bill, I brought my friend, Michael Donovan.”

Michael approached them.

“Bill, my good friend, Michael."

Bill smiled and extended his hand, “It is unfortunate that I can’t see you, Michael. But I am glad to meet you.” Michael chuckled and took his hand, “Mr. President, I assure you, the pleasure is mine.”

Bill nodded, then moved his hand and clasped Hillary’s hand. “Did you take my wife home?”

Michael looked at their intertwined hands, “Yes. My apologies that I got her home late. I invited her for a quick coffee to talk about our project and we got stuck in traffic. You know, New York.”

Bill smiled with wry humor.

“Thanks for taking my wife home, Michael.”

Michael felt that it was his cue to leave. He smiled, “Good night, Mr. President, Senator, Chel.”

***

It was past ten o’clock in the evening when Hillary joined Bill in their bedroom. She spent a few minutes with Chelsea before she retired to bed. When she entered their bedroom, she found Bill sitting on the bed. She felt guilty that she did not arrive early so they could take a walk before sunset.

She was late because Michael insisted to talk to her for a few minutes. She thought they could manage to arrive on time but they didn’t. She was worried about it that Michael insisted to meet Bill and apologize for bringing her late.

She quietly went to the comfort room but stopped when she heard Bill spoke. “How long have you been friends with this … Michael?” He said his name as if he was tasting the name on his tongue.

She proceeded into the comfort room, “We’ve been friends for four years now.”

Bill nodded and brushed his chin with his hand, “I noticed that Chelsea seems to be fond of him.”

Hillary tilted her head to the side as she started to take off her earrings. “Michael used to spend time here.”

“He must be a good man for Chelsea to be fond of him.”

Hillary giggled, “Yes, Michael is a good man.”

Poisonous jealousy flooded Bill. The man was even friends with his daughter. He felt Michael was stealing both of his women and he didn't like it. “I suppose that while I am not around, you and Chelsea became well acquainted with him.”

“More or less.” Hillary took off her clothes as she started to take her shower. Bill said something that she didn’t catch. “I can't really hear you. I’ll just finish taking my shower and I'll be there."

When she was done taking her shower, she wore her silk ivory nightgown and joined him to the bedroom. She found him standing next to the window.

“What were you saying?” She asked.

Bill skipped beating around the bush, “I said is he courting you?”

Hillary gave him a nervous laugh, “What are you saying? We are just friends. I am still married to you.”

Bill tipped his head, “I know a man if he is interested in a woman.” He said it as if it explains everything.

Hillary looked at his face and thought about lying to him, but then, she was curious about his reaction if she told him the truth. “He likes me.”

Bill felt someone knocked the air out of him. He bit his bottom lip for a while then asked, “Do you like him?”

“What do you mean—”

“Hillary, just tell me.”

“He’s my friend—”

“Do you like him?”

“Not in that sense—”

“I said do you like him?” Bill reiterated. There was an edge to his voice when he asked the question again.

“No.”

“You’re lying,” he said, dejected.

Hillary gaped at him, then she laughed, “Are you jealous?”

Bill’s face dropped and he propped his hand on the sill of the window for balance. He looked up - thinking if he would deny it to save his pride but he didn’t want to keep anything from her. He chewed the insides of his mouth before saying: “A little.”

Hillary’s face lightened up and closed the gap between them and embraced him. She felt Bill stiffened upon contact but she ignored it. “Thank you for saying that.”

Bill sighed, and reluctantly returned the embrace. He inhaled her fresh-scent before he heard her ask: “So are you ready to talk about us?”

He tightened his hold around her, “Yes, just promise me that you will not kill me after the talk.”

Hillary giggled, relieved that they were going to have that conversation in a good mood. “I promise,” she responded, pressing her ears against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me or it's quite a slow day in the fandom? :))  
> I hope you like the update, though! :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

Hillary led Bill to their study. It was already past twelve midnight and their house was already quiet. The study smelled of leather and books. This was their place to work or to lounge. She turned the nearby lamp on casting a dim orange glow inside the room. She helped him to the round coffee table.

“Do you want anything?”

Bill shook his head, and then sat down, “just water please.”

Hillary went to the nearby bar and got him a glass of water. She got herself a vodka with lime. She needed something strong to calm her nerves.

When she took her seat facing him, Bill spoke: “There are only two outcomes in this discussion and I hope whatever the outcome is - it is for the best.”

Hillary reached for his hand across the table, “I trust us to make the right judgment.”

Bill heaved a sigh, “Go ahead, start your questions.”

Hillary looked at Bill's face. It was the face that she so loved. He was still as handsome as the first time that she met him, and she found him attractive even in his blindness. Hillary observed him while thinking of what to ask first. He wore a dark blue cotton robe under a shirt and boxers. His cheek was no longer hollowed. His skin clear and pinkish. His hair was perfectly combed. The past few days combined with good medication and the healthy meal did well to his body. His eyes were clear but still without vision. He looked at her straight and steady. She wondered if she got her answers by the end of this night would she still think him attractive? Or she would again see him as a cheater?

She took a deep breath and said: “When we had our first talk since the scandal, and you apologized, and I let you back … I knew that I wasn't over it.” She looked outside the window as if remembering that moment. “There are times that I wonder if I have forgiven you… And I realized that I haven't fully forgiven you.”

Bill shifted on his seat, realizing that his suspicion was true — she was still angry with him.

“There are these questions nagging behind my head that I seem not to get away. ”

“Why don't you tell me…” Bill encouraged.

“Is it me?” She asked. She waited for him to respond when he didn't, she stood from her seat and started to pace. “Have I driven you to her? Is there something wrong with me?”

“No, don't you ever think that it's you,” Bill stressed. He stood up trying to use his other functioning senses to figure out where she was. This was his fear that she might think the worst about her, it wasn't her. It was him. Cliché as it sounded. He was just too weak to fight the temptation then.

“Come here,” he said, finally catching her arm.

“No, don't touch me!” Hillary said angrily and turned her back to him. She finally had the rational part of her talking and she didn't want to lose that part of her. She did not want Bill to touch her because she feared that the other part of her who was so infatuated and in love with him might make her relent too easily without a fight.

Bill stood back. _Damn it_ , he thought. This was the reason why he did not want to have this conversation while he was blind. He was in a disadvantage.

“What do you want to hear? How will I make you understand that it's not you?”

“Then why did you cheat on me?” She asked angrily.

Bill spread his arms, “I am an idiot,” he said in an understatement. He shook his head. “She was…” he struggled to find the words, “... a temptation. An escape.”

He wetted his lips before continuing, feeling his mouth dry, “I was just weak to resist the temptation. Monica wanted me, and she pursued me.” He shook his head and turned his head down - still ashamed of what he did. “We were so busy trying to fix the country… you and I both drifted apart. She was an escape.”

Hillary felt her eyes prickling. She thought that she was over it but didn't realize that revisiting her pain still hurts her.

“Did you ever think about me? About Chelsea? About how we will feel?” She asked because she couldn't help it.

“Hill—”

“Did you ever think about how we will feel?” She felt the trail of hot tears on her cheek.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Please, just the truth.” She said brokenly.

“I didn't. I was thinking about myself. It was the selfish part of me, Hillary.”

He could smell the shampoo that she used on her hair. It was a faint smell of vanilla. He leaned and pressed his forehead at the back of her head. His hands gripped both of her shoulders. “There's no way that I can return to the past to correct my mistakes, but I regret hurting you and Chelsea. I am so ashamed of what I did.”

Hillary sighed. He was correct. There was no way they could return to the past, but Bill had a history of fooling around could she trust him again?

"I don't know, Bill. I want to forgive you." She sniffed, "I want to fully forgive you so we can start again, but sometimes, it still hurts."

Bill nodded and he thought to finally lay down his cards: “I understand, Hillary, for what it's worth, the reason I left was that I knew that you haven't forgiven me…” He bit his lips, “I could see it in your eyes and the way you avoided me. I want to get away because I couldn't forgive myself too and because I want you to hate me too.”

Hillary turned to face him, and he continued. “I went away because I want you to have a reason to divorce me because I couldn't do it.”

Hillary opened her mouth to say something, as he finally ended: “I've hurt you many times, and it's only fitting that I let you go. Maybe this way you might end up finally forgiving me.”

“Bill what are you saying?” she never thought of divorcing him. She was angry at him but she never thought of divorcing him.

Bill brushed her cheeks with his thumbs, “I've hurt you enough. If you divorced me you can pursue the things that you love on your own without my past haunting you.”

It all made sense now. Bill wanted her to hate him so that her anger could drive her to set herself free, and she knew that he was doing it because he loved her.

“I only ask if you can wait until I get my vision back, but I've already started taking care of our divorce.”

“No!”

Bill blinked taken aback by her refusal.

“I never thought of getting divorced! What are you saying? We are not going to get a divorce! I am angry with you but I never thought of resorting to that.”

Bill framed her face with his hands, “You don't know what you are saying!”

“I don't get you. Why are you pushing me away?”

His hands fell, “If you take me back I will destroy you.”

“What do you mean?” She felt her panic rising but she held it under control.

“Hill, there's something wrong with me.” He turned around, for some reason he suddenly remembered vividly how his stepfather hurt his mother. He brushed his hand through his hair, then he felt Hillary approached him from behind and touched his back.

“Bill, please… I want to understand what you mean…” She pleaded.

“My womanizing, Hillary." He finally let out. "I am not sure if I can even do something about it,” he shook his head, feeling his heartbreak. “If you take me back… people will question your position.”

“Do you think that I am that shallow to prioritize what people think of me than my family?”

“Hillary, aren't you listening? I said I don't trust myself. I think I will hurt you again! Is that what you want?” He said outrageously. “I am going to hurt you, and then drag you to the mess that I created, thus I might end up preventing you to achieve your dreams. Is that what you want?”

Hillary did not believe that. She believed that Bill's problem stemmed down from his past and he could overcome it with her help.

He closed his eyes, “You said Michael is a good man—”

“God damn it! Don't push me to another man!”

“Then what do you want?” He snapped.

“You.”

 _Silence_.

“What?” He asked it so faintly that Hillary almost didn't catch the word he said. He felt his tears were starting to collect in his eyes. Did he hear her correctly?

Hillary took a step closer, her hands cupping his face. Bill flinched as if he got burned by her touch.

“I want you, Bill.” She waited for a while to let it sink, her hand making its way to curve on the side of his neck, exerting pressure for him to bend. “I want you and your flaws.”

“Hillary…” He whispered in protest. She rubbed her nose against his. Felt her open mouth hovering above his.

“Kiss me, Bill…” She instructed.

She no longer cared about what she deserved because when Bill told her of his intention, she realized how much they still loved each other. He loved her that he was willing to set her free, but she loved him… they could find a way to save their marriage, to help him with his womanizing and help herself to heal. She understood the uncertainty of their fate if she took him back, and what would people think of them, she also understood the probability of an eventual heartbreak. But she loved him and she knew he loved her too, and she wanted to hold on to that. She knew deep in her heart that they could still save their marriage.

She rubbed the side of his neck with her thumb. “I know that you are a good man. I know you, Bill, and I love you, and I will never give up on you,” she whispered.

Then she felt him suddenly move - catching her lips with his. She moaned in the back of her throat in approval. He devoured her, his hands coming to cup her buttocks lifting her to his body. She automatically wrapped her legs around him. He was a starved man gone without a meal for more than three years, and her offer was too sweet for him not to take.

Bill moved, still carrying Hillary. His back bumped the coffee table and he turned and had her sitting on the flat surface. The glass of water and her glass of vodka fell on the carpeted floor,which they both did not pay attention. His mouth locked with hers, their teeth banged. 

“Bill, not here.” Hillary gasped when he freed her lips and trailed down to her neck nibbling the sensitive skin under her jaw. She cupped his face. “We don't want to be seen by anyone, let's go back to our room,” she invited taking his hand leading him back to their bedroom.

When they reached their bedroom and Hillary turned to close the door, she felt Bill stood behind her. He touched her shoulders, “Are you sure about this? About us?”

Hillary turned to face him. Bill _, s_ he thought, would always be the man that she loved and she would help him. She wouldn't abandon him.

“Do you love me?” She asked.

He wanted to lie to her so he could deter any of any this, but it was already too late. There was no point in lying now.

Without moving his head, he reached for her hand and kissed the center of her palm. “I love you with my body and miserable soul.”

“Then that is enough for us now,” she said kissing him again.

Bill's hands rested on her hips, his eyes closing as his tears fell. He was overwhelmed by her love. He did not deserve her. She deserved someone who could help her achieve her dreams, and who could love her better, and if he loved her, he shouldn't be selfish to deny her that. But bastard that he was, he would take what she was offering.

She pulled back and held his face, “Stop thinking,” she said as if she could hear the trail of his thoughts.

Bill nodded, and then he felt her take his hand leading her to their bed. He sat on the edge of the bed as she stood in the space between his legs. He played with the knot of her robe as she brushed his hair with her hand.

“What's the color of your robe?” He whispered.

She smiled, “It's ivory.”

He sighed and pulled her closer, his face resting on the space between her breast. “There's something that I have learned in my blindness…” He tipped his head up and Hillary framed his face. The color of his eyes so light, she couldn't believe that he couldn't see. “That my imagination is so vivid. I can see you in my mind.” He stood and embraced her, his chin propped on the crown of her head, “I wish I can see you again, Hillary.”

“You will be able to see soon enough,” she said feeling her throat closed as a wave of love and emotion engulfed her. She took his hands, “undress me," she whispered.

He slowly slid his hand under her robe and gently helped her out of it. He kissed every skin that he freed. His lips trailed down on her arm sending sparks all over her body. He kissed the insides of her elbow, the insides of her wrist, the tips of her fingers. He did the same to the other. He could imagine the blush on her chest creeping up to her neck, then to her face. He felt the warmth of her body just as he knew when she was starting to get aroused.

He reached the hem of her nightgown that fell above her knees. He gently pulled it off her. He kissed her cheek, “Go to bed, Darling. I'll follow.”

“Are we going to sleep?” She asked, confused.

Bill chuckled and kissed her again. “There will be no sleeping tonight, my Love.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your support.  
> I will try to update as soon as I can. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk.  
> Warning! Explicit (?)

“Aren't you going to join me in my nakedness?” Hillary asked as Bill hovered above her still in his printed silk bathrobe and clothes. She lifted her arms and hung them around his neck. How natural it felt, she thought.

Bill smiled, “Can't join you yet or I will likely end the night soon. I've gone long without you.” He descended his head to nuzzle her cheek.

“You mean, you didn't have any girlfriends in India?” She teased.

Bill pulled back with a frown on his face. _Uh-oh._

“No, Hillary,” He sighed. He rolled off from her and laid on the bed. Hillary followed him, “I am just kidding,” she said propping herself on his chest looking at him.

“Believe it or not for nearly four years, I abstained,” He said.

“Then my joke shouldn't affect you?”

“It makes me guilty.” He sighed again, “I am so guilty about what I have done to you that you naturally expect me to be fooling around since we are away from each other.” He reached to brush her cheek. “Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you. I've fooled around many times, I cannot blame you for thinking about that.”

Hillary flattened her hand on his cheek, “You said it yourself, we cannot change the past, but we can fix our future.” She climbed up until her lips were hovering above his, “I still intend to grow old you just as we planned many moons ago.” She rubbed her open mouth against his, “Stop loathing yourself, Bill." She chastised playfully, "I intend to show my love to you tonight.”

Bill smiled and returned her kisses. She savored his taste. She wasn't in a hurry, rubbing her lips with his, then nibbling it. Bill ran his hand on her back, the tips of his fingers feathering from the cleft of her buttocks traveling her up to her spine, her body lifting to his touch. She unlatched her mouth from his as a soft purr escaped her lips.

Bill chuckled and gently rolled them over until he was above her. The muscles of his arms strained to keep himself above her, his body cradled in between her thighs. She moaned softly feeling his hardness on her groins. Bill ran his hands on her arms intertwining their fingers gently pulling them up.

“Hold on the handle,” he instructed her. Hillary clutched the steel bars of the headboard pulling her breast higher. Bill pulled back until he was kneeling in between her spread legs. He removed his robe, then took off his shirt. He was looking at her lying down as if he could see her.

He leaned a little until he was able to curve his hand on the side of her neck, “I remember it so vividly that if you are aroused - blushes appear on your body.” He moved his hand south to her stomach, then up to her chest. “Your blush will start on your chest,” his fingers feathering on the slope of her breast then to her neck, “to your neck,” his hands cupped her face, “then to your face.”

He smiled, “tell me, Hillary, are you blushing right now?” He asked.

“Y-yes,” she said breathlessly.

“Your body is quivering…” he observed, his hands traveled down, the tips of his fingers brushing just above her skin. Goosebumps covered her body as her body arched where his fingers traveled aching for him to hold her. “I know your body very well…” he took a deep breath, his fingers feathered on her stomach making Hillary's muscles leap, “and if I am not mistaken… you must be dripping wet for me right now."

Hillary let out a low moan as his finger glided through her slit - touching her nub. But instead of giving Hillary what she wanted, he did not exert pressure to alleviate her growing need as Bill touched her nub with just the pad of his middle finger.

“Bill, p... please,” she pleaded, her hips lifting wanting him to give her that pressure, but instead of giving her what her body ached, he removed his hand making her whimper. He leaned forward bringing his face closer to her.

He kissed her again, giving her lips small biting kisses. He traveled south dragging his kips on her neck, on the slope of her breast. Hillary watched him anticipating for him to give his attention to her nipples that swelled and ached. But instead of sucking it as she hoped, he rubbed his cheek against it.

“Bill—” she protested but sucked in her breath when Bill enclosed his mouth on her nipple. She arched her back, her hands releasing the handlebar wanting to hold him while he gave her breast his attention, but Bill caught her wrists smiling against her skin.

“Don't take your hands off the handle, Darling.”

Hillary clutched again the handle frustrated that Bill wasn't hurrying up. Bill ignored her squirming and went to her other breast. His tongue circled the pointed tips while his fingers played with the other.

“Even without seeing,” he said after letting go of her nipples, “I know your body very well.” He traveled down dragging his lips again making her muscles leap in contact. Goosebumps appeared on her skin as beads of sweat started to form on her body.

He moved down and down until Hillary was tilting her hips wanting his mouth where she was craving him the most. But instead of indulging her, he took his time. Kissing and licking her thighs, her legs, then worshipping her feet.

“Bill, honey, please,” she said beggingly. Bill nipped her inner thighs then hovered above her core.

“What do you want?” he asked, his voice as dark as the night and sweet as a sin. He smiled devilishly at her, his eyes intense.

“Come on,” he teased after Hillary did not respond. His Southern accent thick when he spoke to her. “Tell me what you want.”

She bit her lips trying not to say something crude, but seeing Bill there with a devilish smirk hovering above her core and rubbing her inner thighs was just too much. She held her breath and said: I want your mouth on my cunt.

Bill smiled almost smugly before giving her what she wanted. His mouth devoured her, tasting every crevice - licking her honey. Hillary cried out, her body lifting - arching in that perfect bow shape. When she brought her body down, he pushed back her thighs and tilted her hips to give him access. His tongue prodded her entrance. “I want you to come on my mouth,” he said. His tongue was replaced by his index finger, but then he added his middle finger thrusting in and out of her. While his mouth focused on her rock hard nub.

Hillary didn't hear him as her climax hit her. Her body lifting but Bill held her hips. She let go of the handlebars to tell him to stop as her orgasm was so intense, but Bill did not let her go. He continued sucking her until her orgasm subsided. Lethargy followed after a minute, her muscles became lax. Bill moved and started to take off his boxers freeing his already pole-hard member. Her eyes never leaving his shaft that stood erect pointing towards his stomach.

She let go of the handlebar, “Come here,” she said as she sat and faced him. She touched his cock and he flinched a little. It was too sensitive at that moment.

She touched the purplish head with the tip that was already shiny with pre-cum. She took his hand and positioned themselves until they were both kneeling - facing each other. She pressed closer until her breast was against his bare chest. Bill wrapped his arms around her body - embracing her.

He kissed her cheek, “I miss you,” he whispered. He gave her lips a brief kiss. “I love you, Hillary.”

She smiled in satisfaction. She tipped her head and kissed him full on the mouth before she gently positioned him to sit with his legs stretched, then she straddled his thighs, then took his hardness on her hands - stroking him.

Bill propped himself with his arms on his sides, Hillary came closer until she was face to face with him, her mouth hovering above his, “Do you want me, Honey?”

It was her turn to tease him.

Bill's eyes were half closed - enjoying how she lazily stroked him, “Yes, I want you. I want you so much,” he said.

Hillary moved and positioned his cock to her entrance, then she slowly lowered herself until she enveloped him easily inside her.

“You are so warm, my Love,” Bill said. Hillary started moving her hips sliding up and down on his length. She loved watching his facial expression. She loved that he was in bliss because of her. She touched his cheeks and rubbed the pad of her thumb on lips.

“I love you, Bill,” She whispered.

His breath hitched, “My love,” he responded. He grasped her hips as he helped her to move faster. After a few more strokes, he felt his orgasm hit him and he let out a low groan. Hillary encouraged him, her muscles continue to grip him - milking him until he released the last drop of his seed inside her.

Bill exhaled, collecting Hillary in his arms as he laid on the bed boneless with her on top of him. She stayed within his arms whispering her devotion to him.

A small smile appeared on his face. He loved her and he was so sure about that. She was the epitome of what love was: She never abandoned him, accepted him, and loved him at his worst.

She flew in India to take him back - to make him better. She fed and cleaned him even though she was angry with him. When She had all the reasons to leave him, she never did.

He was grateful for that, and he would do everything to make it right this time.

He held her closer to his heart. He felt her breathing becoming heavy and then after a while, he heard a soft snore. He tipped his head down to drop a kiss on her crown.

“Good night, My love,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, english is not my first language hahaha. I really struggled in writing this scene.  
> Also, I hope you are not offended? 
> 
> Last, I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Last, last, it's not yet all rainbows and butterflies.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk!

Hillary woke up past seven, a little late from her usual waking hour. She woke up with herself still tucked on Bill's side. She sighed and looked at him who was still asleep. She couldn't blame him when last night he tried to satiate the four years of his abstinence.

She waited if she would feel any regret in sharing the bed with him, but nothing came. How could she when she enjoyed what they shared? That every after climax she would be wrapped in his arms. He would caress her, tell her his journey in India, then make her laugh. He was still the only guy who could make her laugh out loud effortlessly.

There was no denying it, she wanted him and her determination to help him was stronger than ever.

He moved and fluttered his eyelids, he looked down at her with a smile on his face. He reached and touched her face.

“Good morning,” she greeted.

“Mornin’.”

He looked at her so intensely that made Hillary ask: “Can you see already?”

He shook his head. He turned to the ceiling, gathering her close. “I am just grateful that you are here with me every morning. ”

She nuzzled the skin on the side of his chest, “We'll go to the doctor again.”

He nodded.

She cuddled with him for a while before she sat up, “I'll get some coffee, what do you want for breakfast?”

A playful smile appeared on his lips and reached for her arm and tugged her back. “You,” he responded, then attacking her face with kisses.

After a while, Hillary got out of their bedroom wearing her bathrobe and went to the kitchen. She found Chelsea standing next to the counter sitting on a high chair answering a crossword puzzle.

“Chelsea, good morning!”

“Ma! Good morning,” she greeted turning to Hillary.

“Did you already have your breakfast?” Hillary asked starting to make her coffee.

“Yes, it's seven thirty already,” Chelsea responded smiling at her.

Hillary nodded and went to the cupboard to get some mugs. She started brewing while feeling Chelsea's gaze on her. She ignored it for a while she tried to finish the coffee she was making. However, with Chelsea's continued glancing, it bothered her, “Is there something you need, Sweetheart?” she asked and took the mug and sipped the coffee she made.

“You are sleeping with Dad that aren't you?” Chelsea teased.

Hillary almost spat out her coffee, “What made you say that?!”

She felt the heat on her cheeks that made Chelsea laughed out loud. “Oh, my God, Ma, you are so sleeping with Dad.”

“Your Dad and I are sharing a bedroom… It’s nothing new,” she said trying to keep her face straight.

Chelsea arched her brow playfully, “Yeah, right, Mom. But with that glow on your face and blush, I'll say you and Dad had a great time last.”

Hillary gave her a face.

Chelsea pursued her lips, “Well, you can continue denying that. But, to say, last night, I heard you both arguing in the study—”

Hillary's eyes widened, “Did you see anything?”

“Oh, God, no! I was passing through the hallway and heard you both arguing. I was about to stop you both but then it got quiet, so I figured you don't need my help.”

Hillary shook her head smiling and taking the mugs she made, but before she could go, Chelsea touched her arm, “Believe me, Ma, I am happy for both of you and Dad.”

Hillary smiled, “Thank you, Sweetheart. Your Dad and I are trying to fix our marriage for the sake of our family.”

“Alright. Whatever happens, I support whatever is good for our family.”

Touched by her daughter's message, Hillary leaned and gave her a peck on the cheek. “Your Dad and I will be going to the hospital to get his eyes checked. Are you going to join us?”

“I have to pass. I have things to do but let's have dinner tonight - my treat,” Chelsea announced.

Hillary's eyes lightened up. “We will look forward to that.”

When Hillary returned to their bedroom she heard the shower running. She placed the mugs on the bedside table and quietly went to the shower.

It was amazing, she thought, how Bill easily adapted to his new situation. He could already manage to do his stuff with little to no guidance at all. However, she really hoped that his vision would be back soon as he usually mentioned to her the things he wanted to see.

She went to the shower room and found him with his back turned to her, his head tipped up - the water running down his face.

There was something strangely intimate about watching him take a shower. Maybe because she could see him in all of his glory. Even in his disability, Hillary found him larger than life. He exuded sexual appeal. She watched the muscles in his back stretched as he moved. There was also a dimple just above his buttocks that she found sexy. His thighs were thick because of his usual morning jogs. It all contributed to his appeal.

Unconsciously she bit her lips finding herself aroused and turned on. _How lucky is she that she is his wife?_ She thought.

“Done ogling me?” He asked, turning his head over his shoulder.

Hillary laughed. She quietly loosened her robe, then approached him without a word. She embraced him from behind pressing a kiss on the back of his shoulders.

“I am trying to satisfy my curiosity,” she teased, she tipped toed and nibbled his earlobe.

Bill laughed and turned around facing her, his arms encircling her shoulders pulling her closer, her breast against his chest. He leaned and pressed his lips on her forehead. “Ready for round two?”

She tipped her head up looking at him, oh, God, she was - indeed - in love with him. Bill rubbed his nose against hers with a smile that was making her knees weak. A part of herself told her to be cautious - that she was going too fast.

“Are you ready to be killed again?” He asked, his lips rubbing against hers.

_Oh, God, is she ready?_

Before she could even think thoroughly about her answer, her response escaped from her lips. “Oh, yes, I'm ready.”

***

“How is the result?” She asked the doctor who entered the room. They waited a few hours after Bill took his eye test and she was filled with trepidation that Bill's eyes were not responding to the medications.

She sat next to Bill who was holding her hand and holding his cane with the other. She was more nervous than he was.

The doctor smiled at her, “Well, Senator and Mister President, I see progress on Bill's optic nerves.”

The doctor showed her the result. “Normally after ten days, Bill's sight will be back. Worst would be within a month.”

Hillary turned to Bill smiling at him, “You'll have your vision really back soon, Honey.”

Bill smiled and rubbed her hand with his. He leaned and whispered, “I rather enjoy you taking care of me.”

Hillary's cheek heated but then she turned to the doctor who cleared his throat.

“I suggest for the President to continue with his medication, and we'll have another check-up next week.”

Hillary started to stand, gently helping Bill up. “Thank you, doc.”

Bill extended his hand, his gaze straight. “I appreciate what you do, Nicolas.”

“You're welcome, Senator and Mister President.”

When they went out of the hospital and were on their way to Hillary's office in New York City, Hillary noticed Bill's unusual silence. She scooted next to him.

“What are you thinking?”

Bill turned to her, “Believe it or not, I just realized that if I don't get my sight back, I am okay being like this.”

Hillary frowned, “Why is that?”

Bill gave her a self-deprecating smile. “Life is simpler for me.”

Hillary shook her head, “What do you mean?”

“With limitations, I don't get to ask a lot of things in life,” he leaned a little until the tip of his nose touched hers. “At this state, I am content being under your care all the time.”

Hillary chuckled and rubbed his jaw. “I will always take care of you even if you're no longer blind.”

He smiled to appease her. His arms draped over her shoulders.

He kept his head straight. What was bothering Bill was the fact that he was afraid that once he got his vision back, he might be defeated by his weakness, and he would end up hurting and disappointing Hillary again.

He still did not trust himself. How many times did he tell her that he would stop womanizing? A lot of times! And he was not able to keep his words. He was afraid that staying in America and being surrounded again by the society and the media, and going back to the life that he abandoned, would repel him to his old ways.

He slightly turned his head when he heard Hillary sighed and she settled comfortably on his side.

No, he did not trust himself at all. He knew he would destroy her once his vision returned.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to respond.  
> There's just no inspiration for the past few days and I have a lot of things to finish.
> 
> I hope you like it. I hope you are still there. hahahaha!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

**10 Days After - 10:00 PM | Chappaqua, New York**

“How about this?” Hillary said, trying to stifle her laughter. It was ten in the evening and she thought of making Bill guess the fruits that she fed him with since he usually boasted how, after almost ten days of being blind, he could practically guess what food he was eating.

They were on their bed. Hillary was wearing her nightgown then, straddling his thighs facing him. Bill was sitting on the bed with his back against the bed rest. His legs stretched with Hillary on his thighs. He was on his pajamas. His hands on her waist.

The cacophony of their laughter combined with Louis Armstrong's La Vie En Rose playing faintly in the background had set their mood to flirt with each other.

It all started innocently. They were both watching a movie with Hillary picking up the grapes in her fruit bowl and fed him with it. After feeding a grape, Bill was able to identify what he was eating. Amused, Hillary started challenging him - the movie forgotten.

She held the bowl in between their bodies as she dangled the cherry a few inches away from his mouth.

"This should be easy," She teased.

"Let's see."

After ten days of being stuck together, they were able to slowly patch things up. They spent together walking in the woods in the afternoon and then watch a play in the city at night. If not, Hillary would snuggle up next to him as she read books to him. If not, they would set up a candlelight dinner followed up with a slow dancing before they would retire to bed lovemaking. Or if not, they just simply just talk.

Hillary tried not to work late at night telling her team that she would be taking her work at home because Bill needed her. If it cannot be avoided and she had to stay, Bill usually took his impatience toward his staff by becoming hard to work with.

There was a time though that Hillary confronted Bill about it. He admitted that his “lashing out” stemmed from his fear that she could be spending time with Michael instead.

She gaped, but the pleasure of knowing that he was jealous was oddly satisfying for her. It felt like she swallowed a spoonful of honey. She went to him embracing him from behind.

“Am I right to assume that you are jealous?” She asked from behind.

Her hot breath tickled skin at the back of his neck making his hair there stood up. Bill took a deep breath and denied it - albeit unconvincingly: “I am hardly jealous.”

Hillary giggled and turned him around. She cupped his chin, “Why don't you admit it?” She asked smiling. She tipped toed and kissed the skin just below his Adam's apple.

Bill tipped his head up. His hands on her shoulders. “Michael and I are just friends.” He heard her say, her voice husky.

Bill's hands stilled. “Michael is not just ‘being friends’ with you, he is being too friendly. I don't like any man being too friendly with my wife.”

Hillary giggled, “What a possessive husband you are.”

He shook his head. “I'm sorry, I do not want to come across as possessive—”

“No, don't apologize, I kind'a like it,” She said popping the first button of his shirt.

Bill chuckled. “I didn't know you have a thing for possessiveness.”

“Coming from you—ackkk!”

To her horror, Bill lifted her.

“Put me down!” She shriek.

Bill laughed. “I'll show you how possessive I can be.”

With the time they spent together, it helped them realized how they needed each other. How, after all these years, they preferred to grow old with each other because there was just never a dull moment.

“Open your mouth,” Hillary said as the cherry touched his lips.

Bill opened his mouth and caught the fruit. He closed his eyes as he chewed. A strong taste of sweetness engulfed his mouth, followed by a dry aftertaste. “This is easy,” he said in between his chewing, “cherry.”

“How did you know?”

He playfully rolled his eyes. “I felt the texture and the shape before I chewed. How many did I get?”

“Eight over ten.”

She took the glass of champagne on their bedside table and she brought it to him.

“Sniff,” she instructed as she hovered the mouth of the flute above his nose.

He took a whiff, “hmmm,” he hummed as he started thinking.

“Open your mouth, Honey,” Hillary said. He slightly opened his mouth and Hillary tipped the flute slowly but some spilled from the side of his mouth.

Hillary pulled back the flute as Bill gave a short laugh, wiping the side of his mouth with his hand. “Definitely, Champagne.”

Hillary rolled off from the bed carrying the fruit bowl with her. She placed the bowl on a nearby table and took a towel. She returned to him to clean him up.

“Are we done?” Bill asked smiling at her tenderly. He blinked noticing that he was starting to see a light. But he couldn't figure out if he was hallucinating considering the amount of alcohol he consumed earlier.

"Yep, we are done."

He gave her childish pout, "I'm still having fun."

Hillary shook her head and was about to leave the bed when Bill pulled her to him making her lay on top of him. “Wait, I have to clean up.” Hillary protested laughing, as Bill pulled her closer.

“No, stay here.” He coaxed. Smiling at her. He enclosed his arms around her - embracing her.

"But I have to clean," she whispered.

Bill smiled tenderly at her and kissed her forehead. “Thank you, you made the last few days of my life the happiest.”

Hillary smiled gently at him. She tipped her head up until she was able to kiss him on the lips. “You made mine the happiest too, Honey.”

She sighed as she settled on his embrace contended at the moment. “I love you,” she heard him say.

She moved again, "Can I clean up now?"

Bill yawned, "I think I want to clean up too before hitting the bed."

***

When Bill woke up the first thing he noticed was the bright light. He was still groggy from sleep, still trying to comprehend what was happening. Everything was a blur, his head slightly heavy from sleep or from the alcohol he couldn't surmise.

Everything was blur though, but he could already see the light. He turned his head and the first thing he saw was Hillary asleep next to him.

Emotion engulfed him. To be able to see her again... it was what he was waiting for.

His eyes collected tears, he reached to gently touch her face.

“Hill…” His voice cracked.

Hillary fluttered her eyelids, she opened her eyes and a smile appeared on her face.

“Yes?” She asked, but when her vision cleared, she saw Bill crying.

She sat up - alert, “Honey, are you okay?”

Bill sat next to her and looked at his hands, his vision cleared. He turned to look at her, and Hillary understood.

“Oh, my God!” Hillary exclaimed, her eyes blurred with her tears as she closed the gap between them and crushed her body with his - embracing him.

“Oh, my God!” She repeatedly said. She pulled back and kissed his face. "You can see already?"

Bill looked at her and touched her face the way he did when he first arrived in their home. He couldn't believe it. He was actually seeing her. His hands traced her face as his tears rolled down his cheeks. His heart was so full he felt he was going to burst.

He cupped the side of her face, his thumb brushed her cheek. He gazed at her striking blue eyes and solemnly said: "You are exactly as beautiful as I have imagined."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it.  
> Comments and Kudos are highly appreciated. :)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

“All clear,” the doctor announced as he looked at the projected result of Bill's eye test.

“You see this one?” the doctor instructed, zooming in at a particular optic nerve. “We've seen the progress of its healing and…” he switched the screen to the previous result, “...there you see previously, a small part is still damaged but now all healed.” He ended projecting the latest result.

The doctor turned to Bill and Hillary who was sitting side by side with Bill holding her hand. Hillary turned to him smiling.

“Just continue using the eye drops for maintenance,” the doctor said walking to them.

Bill stood followed by Hillary. “Thanks, Doc. You've been very detrimental to my healing.”

“You are welcome, Mister President.”

Bill chuckled, “Drop the formalities, I owe you my eyesight.” shaking his hand.

“Thanks,” Hillary said too, then added. “The team is ready, by the way, for the press release.”

Bill turned to her surprised.

“You are welcome, Senator.”

When they were out of the room their team was already outside the doctor's office bombarding them of details where his doctor would announce the update relates to Bill's condition. The news about his blindness was all over the primetime news and tabloids for the past few weeks. While they gave brief and succinct information about his condition, the Press continued to throw allegations about them. They remained tight-lipped and instructed their team not to further address any inquiry about his condition, because frankly, Bill didn't care.

When they were far ahead of the team and were already out of earshot, Bill touched her arm not pleased that she did not inform him that they would be addressing the issue.

“Why didn't you tell me that there will be a press release for my condition?” He asked as they continued walking.

Hillary briefly looked at him, then continued walking, “I didn't want you to be bothered by it so I took the liberty to arrange it.”

Bill kept a straight face and remained quiet until they were inside their van.

“Okay, that's it, are you angry that I made that arrangement?” She asked breaking the silence between them.

Bill rubbed his chin.

“It is not even a big press conference, the doctor will just release a statement of your health condition.”

Bill sighed. “I did not want to do a public announcement, not this soon.” He looked at the view outside of the car and heaved a sigh again. “Making announcement will mean that I will be back to work soon.”

Hillary looked at him puzzled. “Isn't that what you wanted.”

Bill ran his hand through his hair. “Is that what I really want?” He asked thoughtfully, then he looked at her with a self-deprecating smile, then he reached to brush the back of his fingers on her cheek. “I rather spend time with you.”

Hillary's expression softened and touched his hand, “I am yours at night.” She hoped that it would alleviate the mistake that she did, but Bill remained expressionless.

Hillary looked at him and there was sadness in his eyes. “I am sorry about earlier.”

Bill nodded and he draped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. “It's okay.”

***

Hillary returned to her office in New York in the afternoon to attend a meeting related to the project that she was working with Michael after he told her good news.

She met Michael in her briefing room. He was standing next to the window waiting for her. When she arrived Michael turned to her with a smile and then went to meet her half-way.

“How are you?” He asked.

Hillary smiled and gave him a friendly embrace. “I am fine. It's been a while since the last time I've seen you.”

Michael pulled back, “That's the reason why I am here.”

Hillary looked at him, “Sure, let's talk about it. Do you want anything?”

Michael sat on the nearby chair of the long conference table. “No, I am fine.”

Hillary sat next to the available one and Michael proceeded. “I got a very good response from thirty companies in California supporting our project. I even got Governor Ware and Senator Burns to support it.”

Hillary’s eyes widened in surprise, a sudden elation washed over her that her small project expanded to a state all because of Michael’s help.

“Oh, my God, Michael!”

Michael raised a finger, “Don’t be too excited, Darling. the reason why I am here is that we need to fly to California because we will have our first ever kick-off conference there.”

Hillary’s elation suddenly dropped.

“When will we leave?”

“Well, we can leave tonight. The conference will happen this Saturday.”

“But that’s three days away from now.”

“I know, I know, I am sorry, I know it’s short notice, but when I heard their response, I couldn’t delay anymore. We need to keep the momentum going.”

Hillary rubbed her temple, now she knew how Bill felt.

Michael leaned forward, their knees were almost touching. He reached to touch her hand. “What’s stopping you? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

Hillary looked at him and wanted to laugh at how similar the situation was to what she shared with Bill earlier.

“I know this is what I want, Michael. Believe me.” She shook her head, “But Bill’s vision just returned.”

Michael shrugged, “So?”

Hillary looked at him unable to believe his response.

Michael sighed, “I am sorry, I know I am being an ass, but the conference will not start until Saturday. We can fly to California by Friday.”

“I don’t know Michael…”

“Hillary, what about this, you attend the conference this Saturday we’ll return exactly after?”

Hillary looked at Michael. Well, his plan didn’t sound as bad. Besides, she really wanted her project to expand. She cannot let this opportunity to go.

She found herself nodding, “Alright, alright.”

Michael leaned and dropped a kiss on her crown. “Yes! We are going to make this project a success.”

Hillary looked at Michael with appreciation, because frankly he didn't have to do the hard work but he did. And she was grateful for that.

***

Bill took Buddy for a walk after talking to his team in India. Although he had no plans to go back to the country, he wanted to monitor the progress of his project. After that project briefing, Bill told them that he needed to take a rest. He was trying to avoid work not because he was getting lazy, but because he needed to sort his mind. When he got blind, all he really cared about was seeing his family again. There were a lot of things that he realized about life when he was blind, particularly his priorities in life, and that was his family.

He still believed that there were a lot of things that he needed to do to help change the world, but on top of that, his family would always come first.

He was mindlessly wandering through the woods until he reached a pond. Buddy walked near him curious of the twigs lying on the ground.

Bill chuckled thinking that it must be the pond that Hillary saw.

_“What does the pond looks like?” He asked._

_“The pond in front of us is murky like that of a green matcha tea,” she replied._

Indeed, it was the color of matcha tea.

“CHARLIE! CHARLIE COME BACK!”

Bill turned to the sound of a woman shouting but then he was caught by surprise as a golden retriever ran to him happily and stood on his hind legs, his paws coated with mud staining his white shirt.

“Charlie! Oh, my God!” the woman frantically said.

The secret service agent came to Bill but he waved them off. He looked at the owner of the canine who was pulling him. She had flaming curly red hair. She looked at Bill's ruined shirt and turned her eyes to him.

A soft hum of electricity ran through his spine, he had never seen such luscious green eyes.

“Great,” She said and she walked up to him. “I am so sorry about my dog.” She took a handkerchief in her pocket and handed it to him casually. “I am afraid your shirt is already ruined.”

Bill was bedazzled by her presence. She was beautiful with her clear and porcelain skin, dusted with few freckles on her nose, combined with that curly flaming red hair and green eyes.

He took a deep breath and shook his head. “It's okay, it doesn't matter.”

He looked at her, “I haven't been around the neighborhood and I believe that we are not yet introduced, I am Bill.”

She smiled at him amused by his introduction. Bill's eyes caught the dimple appeared on the side of her cheek. She extended a slim soft hand.

“Nice meeting you, Bill, my name's Eve. Eve Matthews.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are highly appreciated. <3  
> I know it's not much, but this is so much in the next few chapters.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

“Eve Matthews…” Bill echoed, thinking about her name.

Eve looked at him expecting her name to ring a bell, but it didn't.

Bill took her handkerchief that she was handing him and started wiping his shirt. He spread his arms on the side seeing his effort as futile.

Eve gave him a pained expression, “I am sorry, really,"

Bill kept a straight face. Her cheeks turned pink, and she offered, "Can I pay for your shirt, instead?”

Bill chuckled, "Naah, don't worry."

They continued walking in the same slowed pace while Buddy and Charlie follow them behind.

“Your name is familiar…” Bill said indulging her in small talk.

“I was Henry Matthews’ wife,” She supplied.

Bill stopped on his track and looked at her. Henry Matthews the old Billionaire guy who died of a heart attack inside his mansion. Bill did not really know the whole detail but he knew about Henry's death because everyone talked about it, and about the fact that Henry left a young widow and a son.

Bill's eyes inconspicuously looked at her hand and saw that she was still wearing her wedding ring. There were talks that she was a gold digger because of their age gap. But judging from her looks such as the fact that she wasn't wearing a fancy dress, and she even still wears her wedding ring as if Henry was still alive, told him otherwise.

When Henry died, she could squander away Henry's money if she wanted to and stop wearing their wedding ring, but she did neither. Bill immediately knew that, in spite of the gap, Henry and Eve married not out of convenience but because they were in love.

Instead of Bill admitting that he knew her, he remained silent. It was appropriate not to let her know that he had an idea about her lest she thinks that he was into gossip. He smiled at her, “I barely knew anyone here.”

She looked down on the ground as if she was cautious of what she was walking on, “So do I.”

“But I guess you've been here for so long?” Bill asked curiously.

Eve looked at him, “Being in a place for so long and knowing your neighbor does not necessarily follow, right?”

Bill tilted his head to look at her.

Eve felt that Bill was inspecting her like a bug under a microscope and that made her uncomfortable. She took a deep breath and turned to him, “I am really sorry about your shirt, Bill…er” she shook head, berating herself for talking to a former President too casually.

“It doesn't matter, Miss Matthews.”

Eve nodded, “Nice meeting you, Bill. I'm afraid I need to go and see my son now.”

Bill nodded and watched as Eve walk away. His eyes followed her, and when she was no longer within sight, he turned around finding his way back home.

***

**1996, White House, Washington DC**

Their eyes locked. Monica briefly smiled at him, almost coyly. No, it wasn't exactly coy, but with enthusiasm but with a hint of coyness that was bordering on flirting.

Bill could immediately detect if a woman was attracted to him. He knew it - the way they smile, they interact, they would always show a certain hint that they liked him. Always.

“Good afternoon, Mister President,” She greeted when she had the chance.

Her eyes held his. His alarm signals told him that she would be a danger, but his body and impulses knew differently.

***

**2003, Same Day, Night Time**

Bill sat on the chair on their study waiting for Hillary. He already took his shower and was sipping a Scotch relaxing when he heard the knob of the door turned.

He looked at the door and Hillary entered. She smiled broadly at him as pleasure spread in his chest.

“Hi’ry,” He called, he extended his hand to her inviting her to come closer.

He never felt so happy and so satisfied seeing her.

Hillary went to him and instead of stopping in front of him, she sat on his lap across. Her arm encircling around his shoulders.

“What took you so long?” He asked as he kissed her cheek.

“I am sorry I had to do some work,” Hillary reasoned. She was deciding earlier when was the best time to tell him that she needed to fly to California but because Bill looked so happy, she thought she could say it later instead.

Bill encircled his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him. “Don't work so hard, I will always miss you.”

She pulled back a little, “Did you miss me while I was gone?” She asked teasingly.

Bill kissed her chin, “Very much. I was very lonely.”

Hillary leaned back and they both looked at each other. She held his gaze as a small smile appeared on her lips.

 _This is love_ , he thought.

Looking at her eyes, Bill saw his soul. She embodied everything that he loved. The feeling he felt for her wouldn't be compared to how he felt towards any woman. She loved him with such tenacity that did not match anyone. She loved him beyond reason. She loved him just because she did.

“What?” She asked whispering noticing how his eyes softened.

Bill leaned until their nose was already touching. “I love you,” he said.

Hillary cupped his face and rubbed his cheek with her thumb. She leaned and kissed him gently on the lips. “I love you too.”

When she pulled back, Bill added: “Great, now that you are home, I intend to make love to you all night long.”

“Finally! What I have been waiting for!” She giggled.

Bill chuckled and he stood carrying her on his arms.

Maybe it was because Bill just got his sight back, but he appreciated every little part that he saw as he removed Hillary's clothes. He kissed every bit, caressed every skin until Hillary was writhing and shaking with want.

He was a thorough and sensitive partner. He could make her body sing, make her want to reach climax after climax and still want it after.

Maybe it was because they were in love and the new found love that they thought they lost made them more crazy about each other.

Afterward, after all of their energy was spent, after their passionate and heated lovemaking, and Bill was spooning her with his arms wrapped around her, Hillary considered saying it - letting him know that she would be flying in California on a Friday night. She needed to tell him before the sun rises.

She sighed, and she felt Bill smiled against her skin behind her.

“What is it?” He asked.

She did not answer.

“I can sense your thoughts running,” He added.

She held her breath and said: “I've to fly to California this Friday night.”

She felt him slightly stiffened.

“Okay, you going alone?”

“No…” She took a deep breath, “I am flying with Michael.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the usual I guess love square (lol, because obviously it's not triangle). I don't even want to call it love square (?!?!) because it isn't. I guess the best way to put it is Eve and Michael plays a role in their relationship.
> 
> Someone asked me if I used the names Eve and Michael as in Eve in the bible (the temptation) and Michael (as in the Saint Michael the Archangel). Nice thought though. :)))))
> 
> I hope you enjoyed. I am not happy with my word count though. I noticed I've been going to less than 1500 words. Honestly, it's so harrrdddddd to write.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

“No, I am flying with Michael," Hillary told Bill.

Bill looked at her, then he thought that not once in their married life that Hillary strayed. She was true to her words. There were men that attempted to pursue her, though, but was not successful, partly because of him, and mostly because she never gave them any reason to pursue her.

Even though Hillary never gave the men any indication for them to pursue her, Bill didn't trust them. He knew he was projecting himself towards the men who were trying to vie for her attention because he was one of their kind. Bill did not only play around with single women, sometimes even those who were married, basically any women who would give him a hint that they were into him.

But those days were gone. He told himself that this time it would be different. He would no longer hurt her.

He smiled, albeit a bit forced. “This is related to the project that you are working with him?”

Hillary tilted her head, “Yeah.” She waited for him to say something refuting.

Bill sat up and leaned against the headboard. He looked at her and she followed, she sat and faced him.

“Is there something on your mind?” She asked when she could no longer stand the silence.

Bill looked at the comforter flattening it as if it was something interesting, then he turned to her. “Hillary, I trust you.”

Hillary stared at him knowing that he would add something, “and…?”

He sighed, “I don't trust him.”

Hillary chuckled. “Michael is just a friend.”

“But he likes you.”

Hillary hovered thinking if she would lie, but then she decided not to, “So? We're just friends.”

“I can see how he looks at you, Hillary.” He sighed and brushed his hair. “I trust you, but I don't trust him.”

“Michael will not do anything that I don't like. He never disappoints me.”

Bill looked at her like as if she slapped him, and Hillary understood. She closed the distance between them. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean…”

"I know...," Bill waved his hand, “Go, it's important to you.”

“You're angry?”

He sighed and brushed her hair, “I am not angry.”

Hillary framed his face, “Smile for me then.”

Bill shook his head, not really in the mood.

“Please…” She added.

How could he deny her? He smiled to her delight, and in return, he playfully pulled her to him - embracing her as she let out a fit of giggles.

***

On the day of Hillary’s flight, Bill took her to the tarmac. He was told that they would be taking Michael’s plane so they could immediately arrive in California and get back to New York the soonest.

Inside their limousine, Hillary was indulging Bill with the details of their event. Bill was half listening though.

“When did you say you will return?”

Hillary looked up at him from the papers on her lap, “Saturday night.”

Bill pursued his lips, “Alright.” He reached for her hand and kissed the back of it. “I will be waiting for you every minute that you are away.”

Hillary felt a tingle in her spine when Bill said it, maybe because of how Bill changed. He was never that intense but he was ever since they got back together. He was passionate and was more vocal about his feelings towards her.

“Hey, I will be back soon, alright?” She said comforting him. She reached to brush the hair on the side of his head.

“Mister President, Madam Senator, we are already in the tarmac.” Their chauffeur announced.

They both looked outside the window not noticing that they already arrived. The agents opened the door beside Hillary and she got out and he followed.

They both saw Michael’s gleaming white luxury private plane. He was waiting on the landing next to his stretched limousine. Michael was wearing a collared shirt over a black suit. He looked dashing.

If Bill was so conscious he would feel threatened by Michael’s money and his good looks, but he wasn’t. Besides, Michael might be that sleek millionaire guy but Bill knew he was far intelligent than the guy. Plus, between the two of them, Bill was more powerful.

"He looks like a douche," Bill whispered to Hillary's ears.

Hillary looked at him with a frown making him chuckle.

He approached Michael with Hillary on his side. When they reached him, he extended his hand, while his other arm curved around Hillary’s waist subtly showing possession.

“Michael, thank you for helping my wife with this project. I appreciate it.”

Michael smiled at him, “Yes, I’ve always been a supporter of Hillary. I believed her and this project and I want this to be a success.”

"More than its success, I trust that you will do what's good."

Hillary looked at Bill understanding the double meaning of his words. She shifted on her stand and broke the tension by turning to Bill, “We have to go now, Babe.”

Bill turned to her, “Alright,” he whispered. He brushed her hair, then leaned, and gave her a quick kiss. “Call me when you settled.”

She nodded.

Bill watched as Hillary come to Michael and he assisted her. Although they kept a good distance, he had an impulse to go to her and tell her not to proceed, but that would make him look like an ass. So he held himself, his fists closed. He watched until they climb the stairs of the plane and Hillary turned to wave at him.

He would count the minutes, damn, he would.

Hillary looked outside the airplane window and saw Bill waved goodbye. She waved in return, she wanted to stay looking at him but her attention got diverted when Michael sat next to her.

He smiled at her and handed her a drink, “Excited?”

She took the glass and returned the smile, “I will be lying if I say that I am not.”

***

It was already a habit that Bill developed to walk in the woods late in the afternoon. It was his and Hillary's past time. They enjoy quiet conversations during their walk - getting acquainted again after their three-year separation. Since he had nothing to do that Friday afternoon, he thought to take a walk instead.

He was on his way towards the pond when he heard a sound of cackles of a child and a happy bark of a dog. He continued walking until he saw Eve's flaming hair from afar. A kid running wild with an auburn hair, he assumed as Eve's son was being chased by her dog, Charlie. There was something so innocent and private about it that Bill felt like an intruder.

He started to turn around when he stepped on a twig. The sound of wood cracking under his foot echoed that Eve looked at his direction.

“Mister President,” She called.

Bill turned and he saw her smiling at him that made his stomach flipped. He told himself that he would only say “hello”, then he would leave them alone.

“Miss Mathews!” He greeted in return waving at her.

Charlie ran to him and the kid followed, and it prompted Eve to stand and to follow them.

While the child ignored Bill, the dog continued to wag his tail sniffing Buddy who was near Bill.

Eve looked at him and smile as she held the little child's hand, “Come here, Thomas.”

The child, Thomas, came to her and Eve scooped her in her arms, “Do you know who he is?”

The boy shook his head. “His name is Bill Clinton. He is a former President.”

The child scratched his head, that made Bill grin. “I am Bill. What's your name son?”

Eve whispered to the child, “Do you want to introduce yourself, Tom?”

“I'm Thomas Mathews,” the child said shyly.

“Do you want to shake to you want to shake the President's hand??” she asked.

Thomas extended his hand and Bill's large hand reached his and shook it, then Thomas buried his face in his mother's neck.

“He is shy,” she said apologetically.

Bill looked down at her smiling, his hands inside his pocket. He did not want to touch her. He wanted to test his control and that he could be friends with beautiful women without indulging to any of his impulses.

“It’s okay, I understand.”

"Are you alone?" She asked.

Bill looked at her and saw her cheeks turned pink.

Eve misunderstood his silence, so she added, “Anyway, I must be disturbing your walk Mister President - I am sorry."

“No, Miss Mathews. I have nothing to do this afternoon and am just walking around.”

“But your wife?”

“My wife is currently in California.”

She nodded, as she proceeded to walk. Bill followed with Thomas walking in between them and Charlie and Buddy walking ahead of them.

“To say, Mister President, I am your wife’s fan.”

Bill chuckled, “I am her fan too.”

"I hope you can indulge me for small talk. I haven't been around."

"Sure, go ahead," Bill replied.

"So tell me your story?" She asked curiously, grinning at him.

***

Hillary arrived in the after few hours in San Francisco and when they landed, their team briefed them of the details of their event tomorrow. She was impressed by how involved and detailed Michael was, he ensured that all of the VIPs that he invited were coming. Hillary did little, she just observed and listened as Michael go through the events and filled her with the details.

After all the arrangements were done and she returned to her hotel she was exhausted. She started to take off her earrings preparing herself to take her shower when she wondered about Bill. It was their first night away from each other ever since his sight returned. She wouldn't deny that she missed him already. She realized that something changed between them ever since she took him back from India. They grew more fondly towards each other.

She reached for her mobile phone and dialed his cell phone number.

“Hillary?” He greeted.

She smiled hearing his voice. “Yes, Honey. How are you?”

Bill smiled, “Funny, I was about to reach my phone to contact you.”

“Miss me already?”

“Very much, Love.”

She exhaled feeling a wonderful pleasure inside her chest, feeling like as if she had taken a spoonful of honey. “I miss you too,” She said, then she continued. “I didn't get the chance to call you immediately because when we arrived we were briefed about the event tomorrow.”

Bill nodded. “It's okay, I know you are busy.”

“So what did you do today?”

“Just took a walk in the woods and was able to get to know our neighbor.”

Hillary giggled. “Finding new friends?”

“Well, you can say that, besides, I haven't been around here since I arrived.”

“So who is this new friend of yours?”

“You might know her, her name is Eve Matthews.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it. I think I only have about 5 chapters left?  
> Sorry for the late update, there's just a lot of things going on in life, and I really have no inspiration for the past few days.  
> But, I hope you like it. 
> 
> Any comment or kudos is appreciated! Thank you! :*


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk :)

“Eve Mathews?” Hillary asked as she stilled from taking off her earrings.

“Yeah, Henry Matthews’ wife?” Bill asked, his brows furrowed -worried at how she sounded.

“Isn't she a widow?” Hillary asked, trying to keep her voice normal.

“Yes, she is Henry's widow.”

There was an awkward silence that followed. Hillary was assessing the situation, while she wasn't new to Bill making friends with other women but this one… she had qualms with his acquaintance with Eve Matthews - particularly with her reputation of being a gold digger. She did not get to know her but Henry introduced his wife to her in a gala they both attended. She could not forget her as Eve was the only one with a blazing red hair and prominent cheekbones and straight nose. She was magnificent to behold but she hardly spoke a word. She did not even extend her hand to Hillary but just held on Henry's arm as if afraid that Hillary might steal her husband.

Hillary did not mind then but combine her experience and what everyone around the neighbor knew about Eve made Hillary doubtful about her.

Bill touched his forehead, “Hillary… I hope you are not thinking…”

“Well, you know, to be honest, I am a little concerned…”

“Concerned?”

Hillary started to pace out of anxiousness, “To begin with, the woman has a reputation...”

“Wait, you are not like this Hillary. You don't judge someone by what you hear. Eve is a decent and wonderful woman.”

Hillary was taken aback by how he defended her, “I’ve had my share of experience with her, and you know that by a single walk together?”

“And you made that judgment by meeting her once and a single exchange of hello?”

Hillary stilled, feeling her heartbeat escalate, “How did you know that?”

“She told me.”

“You talked to her about me?”

Bill sighed feeling cornered. It was not how he imagined it would be. He wanted to be honest with Hillary but it fired back instead.

“No, she told me that Henry introduced you both. We've bumped to each other before and we had a short talk and then earlier again.”

Hillary felt the heat crawled up in her ears, “Well, why didn't I know about it?”

“Do I have to let you know?” He snapped. He brushed his hair with his fingers. “Gee, Hillary this is not only about Eve's reputation and your experience with her.” He took a deep breath, “Why don't you tell me, Hillary… Why don't you tell me that you don't trust me?”

Hillary swallowed to wet her dried throat, “I want to trust you, Bill, but you keep on keeping things from me.”

“It’s a one time slip!” He said loudly. “Am I supposed to let you know the people that I get to know?”

“Yes!” She snapped.

Bill held on the gripped the bridge of his nose. “I am not sure how to feel about that.”

“Well, have you considered about how I feel?”

“Why don’t you tell me then?”

“I am scared.” She threw her free hand up. “I am so scared about you… about this relationship…” she bit her lip, “But can you really blame me?”

“Hillary, I only ask that you trust me.”

Hillary gave a self-deprecating laugh, “Like how I always did.”

“Stop it, Hillary!” He retorted. “I made a lot of mistakes before, but ever when I got sick and got blind, things changed for me.”

“Unfortunately, that is something that we have to find out.”

Bill was silent and Hillary hated herself for saying some hurtful words but she couldn't stop herself. “This conversation is not good for the both of us. Let's talk when you returned," she heard him say.

So he has the audacity to end the conversation?

“Fine.”

Bill gripped the phone. “Fine.”

When Bill turned off the phone, instead of putting it on the table, he threw it annoyed with the direction of his conversation with Hillary. He wanted to share his day with her but apparently, that didn't happen.

Hillary placed the phone back on the cradle and took a deep breath, she was ready to take the rest of her clothes to take a shower to cool her head. _If he thought she will come calling back, he will be waiting until the morning_ , she thought, then she heard a knock on the door.

She went to the door and heard Michael's muffled call from the other side. She opened it and was greeted by Michael’s smiling face. She kept her face straight.

“Hey, the hotel invited us for a free drink on their rooftop bar, I wonder if you want to chill.”

Hillary gave a small smile, “I won't say no to free drinks," she responded. "Let me change my dress. I’ll meet you there.”

Hillary went to the rooftop after a while, she wore a simple black dress. The open bar at the rooftop of the hotel gave them a view of San Francisco - that combined with the jazz playing on the background - romanticized the night. She scanned the crowd looking for Michael and found him sitting on a stool high chair talking to the bartender laughing at what the guy said. There was something about him that made him look so easy-going. He turned to look at the entrance of the bar and then his eyes caught hers.

Michael excused himself and went to her holding a shot glass. When he was near, he gave her a head to toe look and grinned at her as he handed her the glass, “You are quite a sight in this dress, Madam.”

Hillary chuckled and took the glass he offered, “Ah, you are always a smooth flirt, Michael. But you know that will not work with me.”

"At least I tried."

She sniffed the rim of the shot glass and looked at him, “Vodka?”

Michael bit his lower lip before responding, “I thought you need something strong.”

Hillary wondered if he heard something when she was talking with Bill but did not ask to know. She raised the glass and took the shot in one swallow. She felt the heat trailblazing on her throat, followed by a strong alcohol taste with a smooth finish.

“Russian,” she observed as she took Michael's offered arm.

Michael chortled, “I hope you are fond of them.”

“No, not particularly,” she responded making Michael laugh.

***

Bill tried to sleep but was unable to as he obsessed over his discussion with Hillary. He thought about what she said - that he should've informed her when he first met Eve, but then he wondered, _why would he when it was just a passing moment? Did she mean that he would inform her of every person he met?_

He rolled out of the bed. He wondered what she was doing. He wanted to call her to apologize but he just couldn't understand what he did wrong.

He sighed and looked at the phone lying on the carpeted floor. Well, he thought, if he wanted to be able to end this little rift, he should call her right now.

So in spite of his annoyed mood he made the decision to do so - he reached for the phone grumbling and then called her mobile phone.

Except she wasn't answering it.

He tried again but it went unanswered.

He tried again and still the same.

He left a voice message, “Are you not answering because you are angry? Look, I am sorry for not telling you because I didn't think it was important enough for me to let you know. But I don't like this. Please call me.”

He placed the phone back on the cradle and looked at it before he headed back to his bed hoping that she would get his message and return the call so they both could get a good night sleep.

Hillary, on the other hand, was sharing a few drinks with Michael. She enjoyed them alright. She thought it was a good night to get a little tipsy but she went overboard and had too many while enjoying some food.

Michael watched her as she told him some of the silly stuff she did back when she was college. He listened and laughed with her. She was, he thought, magnificent. Bill was a lucky son of a gun to get her.

“You know,” Michael said when she became silent. “I have to admit that I am partly bitter that you and Bill got together.”

Hillary looked at him as Michael turned his eyes on his tumbler. “He is a lucky damned guy to have you.”

Hillary smiled but her smile did not reach her eyes, “Well, you have me.”

It was Michael's turn to look at her, “Do I?”

“Michael…”

He waved his hand, “Don't worry, I have so much respect for you, Hillary. I value this friendship more than my broken heart.”

Hillary felt her heart somersault and she reached to touch his hand. “I am so glad to be your friend, Michael.” She sighed. “If you must know, you are very important to me.”

Michael looked at her with all sincerity, “I will always be here.” He reached to kiss the back of her hand. “I will always be waiting for you.”

Hillary gently tugged her hand back. “Michael…” She looked at him then shook her head, “You cannot wait for me. I love my husband. You have to open your heart to someone who might come for you.”

"I still don't get it..."

Hillary stared at her glass, "Sometimes we cannot find reason in love, we just love."

He did not respond.

“Promise me that you will try not to lose the opportunity to love someone deserving,” She said.

Michael smiled and nodded, although half-heartedly.

Hillary looked at Michael feeling her heart ached. She never met someone as loyal as Michael and who would do anything for her. She wanted to share to him what happened earlier but she was afraid that it would make him pursue her further. So instead of making him hope, she kept her mouth shut, besides, whatever she and Bill had it was their business to deal with.

***

Bill looked at the phone, he called again for the nth time but Hillary wasn't answering. Was she so angry that she did not want to settle their problems? Or…

He rolled out from the bed and went to contact Huma instead.

“Hello? Mister President?” Huma asked, her voice hoarse from sleep.

“Huma, I am trying to reach Hillary but she is not answering her phone. Can you check where she is? I am worried.”

“She said she will be joining Michael for a drink. I will confirm.”

Bill felt his heart plummet. _Is that the reason why she is not answering because she is having a drink with Michael? Bill felt the heat in his face. How dare she lecture him when she herself doesn't even inform him where she is going?_

After a few drinks, Hillary was already drunk. She was laughing and her words were already slurred. Michael grabbed her glass and stopped her from drinking.

“That's it, we have enough. We need to get you back before you see yourself on the front page of the tabloids.” He helped her up and assisted her back to her room.

Michael struggled in taking her back to her room ensuring that she wouldn't trip. They swayed a little with Hillary laughing loud at their struggle.

“Okay, we are already here, where are your keys?” He asked.

Hillary took the purse but Michael took it from her hand and looked for the keys himself. He got it then he used it to open the door.

_Click_

They both got in and Michael assisted Hillary towards her bed, but then instead of helping Hillary lie down, she fell with her back hitting the soft cushion of the bed taking Michael with her. He ended up almost falling on top of her, he was just fast enough to prop himself with his arms before he ended up slumping on top of her. She giggled at what happened as Michael gazed down at her.

He was tempted as hell to kiss her as she laid under him. He brushed her hair as Hillary closed her eyes ready to sleep.

 _I have so much respect for you_ , Hillary. He remembered telling her.

He smiled and kissed her forehead and pushed himself up. “Sleep, you beautiful mischievous soul.”

“I heard that,” she said, her words slurred. She still had her in eyes closed but she was smiling. She turned to her side and then a soft snore followed.

Michael gave her a last look and looked at his watch, one-thirty it said.

He was about to leave when he caught her mobile blinking from his peripheral view. He went to look at it and was surprised to see a lot of missed calls coming from Bill.

He looked at Hillary who was already fast asleep then he looked back at the phone blinking thinking if he should answer it or not.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late upload. Anyway, there are few things going on in real life, so just giving you a head's up that some of the updates might take a few days to be posted but rest assured I will still complete this.
> 
> Thank you so much for your continued support and understanding. :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

Michael looked down at Hillary's phone and saw Bill's name flashing as an incoming call. Bill must be worried about her but he knew that if he took his call Bill would misinterpret the situation.

He turned to look at Hillary fast asleep. If he wanted to ruin their marriage, he would take the call, but he was not that shallow. He understood his boundaries. He turned and left Hillary's room instead.

He went back to his bedroom and picked up his phone and dialed Bills number, and after one ring, Bill picked it up.

“Michael,” Bill greeted. He said his name as if he was expecting Michael to call.

“Yeah, hey, sorry for calling you at this hour, but I want you to know that Hillary is safe, and is already in her room.”

“What the hell do you mean about that?” Bill asked, alarmed.

“Well, I invited her for a drink and she got drunk. I thought you might want to know her situation.”

“Jesus, did you get her drunk?” Bill asked - fumed.

“No, I did not. She just had too much to drink.”

“Am I supposed to be comforted that you are telling me this?”

“Hey! Hey! Don’t take it the wrong way, Bill. I am calling you so you don’t have to worry. I don’t want you to berate Hillary in the morning by not calling you because she was already asleep.”

“If you care so much about my wife, then you should’ve not allowed her to get drunk.”

Michael scoffed. “She is an adult. She can do whatever she wants. I did not force her to drink. She got herself drunk.”

“Where are you right now?” Bill asked, demanded. “I want to talk to her!”

“She is asleep. I am in my bedroom right now and if you think I will wake her up to satisfy you, well you’re wrong, Pal.”

“First, of all, I am not your 'Pal'. Second, I don't even trust you.”

To Bill’s surprise, Michael laughed.

“Why don't you call one of her agents or Huma to confirm if she is in her room? The problem with you Bill is that you are projecting who you are to me. Unlike you, I love Hillary and I have so much respect for her. I will not do anything to hurt her."

“You know nothing about how I feel about my wife,” Bill responded seethingly.

“Why don’t you tell me? Because you know, the years that you both been together did nothing but hurt and humiliate her. Honestly, I don’t understand it. I don’t understand why at the end of it all, she still chooses you."

“Seriously, that's none of your business, but I guess for someone like you, it must sting to know that she loves me."

Michael gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Yes, that makes me jealous. But I love her. In fact, you know, to tell you, I can choose not to call you and make you angry. But I didn’t. I called because I want you to know that she is fine, so in the morning, you will not talk to her and upset her for not calling you. I want her to be happy even if it means not having her. Don’t call her tomorrow to upset her because this project is very important to her.”

Bill was quiet on the end and sat down feeling like as if that Michael had doused him with cold water.

He never knew the extent of Michael’s love for Hillary but listening to him then made him realize how much Michael truly loves her. And that made him feel undeserving, but he loved Hillary too in spite of his flaws.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t like you, Michael. I don’t like you because I know you are a better man for Hillary. But I love her too. I know I have hurt her too many times, and I am very regretful for that. I know you don’t trust my word. Heck, I think Hillary even doubts me. But I have learned my lesson. I almost died, I almost lost my sight. But I am given a chance. I love my wife. Trust me when I say that I will not upset her.”

He held his breath for a while, then added, “But thank you for looking after her.”

Michael nodded, “Good to hear, Bill.”

***

Right after Bill placed the phone back to the cradle, Bill sat down on the bed and took a deep breath trying to calm. He thought about what Michael said and what he and Hillary argued about. He understood that in spite of his good intentions, it would take time for Hillary to trust him again. But he needed to be patient. He needed to continue working to make her believe that he was sincere in becoming the husband that she deserved.

Michael was right. He should not upset her because the event tomorrow was important to her, and to make up for it he reached his phone and made some arrangement. After a while, he placed the phone back and looked at the time. He had some few hours to take a rest.

***

Hillary woke past five o'clock in the morning, still groggy from the alcohol. She looked at her dress and found that she was so drunk last night she forgot to change clothes. She was lucky that she was with Michael who looked after her and ensured she got back in her room safely.

She dragged herself out of the bed - ready to go to the comfort room but thought to check her phone first. She looked at her list of missed calls and was horrified to see the number of times that Bill called.

She pressed a hand against her temple and groaned. She thought of calling him immediately but then realized that if she did, he would most likely berate her for not answering her phone. The last thing she wanted was to be upset. She needed to focus on the event later that day and she would face Bill after.

She went to the shower and prepared. All she could do was hope that later’s event would be smooth.

***

**Chappaqua, New York, 8:00 AM Eastern Time**

Bill looked at his watch and saw that he was thirty minutes early. He waited for his service to arrive. They would take Bill to the airport so he could catch his plane ride going to California. He acknowledged that what Michael said was right. If he loved her, he should do everything in his power to make her happy - just as what Michael did.

He hated that Michael was right but he needed to put his ego aside and prove that he was also there for her success.

“Sir, we are ready,” Bill’s security head informed him.

Bill nodded and went to the service car waiting for him. He clutched the flowers he brought. He would be there for her. Yes, he would be.

***

**Conference Hall, Fairmont Hotel, 09:30 AM Pacific Time**

Hillary was reviewing her notes preparing for the meeting when Michael arrived. He was wearing a starchy white collared shirt, cobalt blue necktie, and gray suit. He looked suave and poised like as if he was ready to take the meeting like a storm.

He reached her and his eyes softened. He went and gave her a friendly kiss on her cheek.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“I am feeling like hell,” she replied in dismay. “Remind me not to drink again before any of my conferences.”

Michael chuckled, “I think you will do fine.”

The conference started off with Michael giving the introduction, followed by Hillary’s message. A presentation was presented by a representative from a women empowerment group delivering messages why equal pay and opportunities matter to them.

Hillary listened and was moved by the presentations, she listened thoroughly as after the conference they would be signing up the corporations to support their causes by implementing these policies in their own companies.

While she was confident that they would be able to get eighty to a hundred percent of the corporate participants, she couldn’t help but be tense about it. She did not want to show it but her laser focus gaze at each presenter, her tightened jaw, and stiff back gave way to what she truly felt.

Michael was sitting beside her and was watching her reaction when he naturally placed his warm hand atop hers enveloping her clammy hand.

“Relax,” He told her and winked.

Hillary smiled back to him, trying to absorb his calmness. It would be okay, she told herself.

***

Bill arrived after a few hours. He did not immediately go to the hotel where the conference was held but instead went to arrange a dinner and a private plane that he and Hillary could take together back to New York. He wanted to make this night special for her.

When he arrived in the hotel, he was told that the conference was already done and Hillary and her team were in the briefing room. While they insisted to take him there, he said that he wanted to be discrete. He asked to be taken to another room next to the briefing room to surprise her.

He was waiting, holding the bouquet like a damned teenager who was about to take his girl for prom. He was watching from that room as her team wrapped-up the event. Hillary was grinning as Michael read aloud the number of signees that they got and the positive feedback that they received.

Michael pointed at Hillary inviting her to join him in the middle of the room. He curled his arms around the small of her back, holding her waist, as Hillary delivered a message.

Bill felt his sweat rolled down his temple. He tried to be calm and reminded himself that they were just friends. But he couldn’t overlook it. The way Michael and Hillary looked at each other and the way they leaned was too friendly and comfortable for his taste. Plus, Michael even gave Hillary a kiss on her temple. 

 _Is he misinterpreting things?_ He thought.

Seriously, he did not know how to react. He no longer couldn’t understand what was rational and what was not. He knew they were friends, but to be that _too_ friendly?

Yes, he was jealous. The jealousy was searing down his soul, but even then, he was trying to validate his feelings.

 _Is he right to be jealous?_   _Is that normal between friends? Hell, it did not look like normal._

He felt a prickle in his eyes. He felt defeated remembering how she did not even return his call in the morning. It was a petty thought, and even a defeatist, but he was sure she saw the number of his missed calls, and the voice messages that he gave, but they were all not returned.

He turned around. He wanted to surprise her, alright. But he was the one surprised.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's been a while since I have updated (a week and a day!), but I am still here. I really have difficulties writing for the past few days. I just cannot summon any inspiration to write. I mean, I know where the story is going, but really just feel unsatisfied with the delivery. Unsatisfaction is really a downer, you know. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like the update. I will do better next time! :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk

After the event was wrapped-up, and people left, Michael and Hillary were left alone in the same room. Michael, who was still holding Hillary’s hand, turned to her.

“I am so proud of you, Hillary,” Michael said.

Hillary shyly looked down at her hand, “I don’t think I will be able to manage it without you.”

Michael smiled, he reached under her chin and tipped her head up. “It’s all for you, Sweetheart.”

He leaned then gave her another kiss on her forehead and smiled, albeit, a little too sadly: “Now that we are done here, you need to go home, Hill.”

Hillary looked at him, and he added: “Your husband… Bill is already waiting for you.”

She held his gaze, puzzled at how he knew that. "What made you say that?"

“Remember your condition that after we gather all the support, you will go home? So I know.”

Hillary nodded and tiptoed to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you for everything, Michael.”

He nodded and he let go.

Hillary hurriedly went out of the building. She was thinking that there was so much to fix in her marriage when she returned home. She already planned it inside her head. First, she would come back home to Bill with a kiss and an embrace. Second, she would apologize for not calling him back and explained why she failed to call. Third, they would talk about her trust issue with him but, most importantly, she would listen to him.

They both need to talk about what they need from each other if they wanted their marriage to work. She would tell this because she wanted him to know how much she loved him.

She got out of the building and headed to her car without preamble. When she got into the car, she told the driver to take her to her hotel, but then Huma turned to her with a confused look on her face.

“Where's the President?” She asked.

Hillary didn't immediately respond but gave her a confused look.

“Did you… Did you see Mister Clinton?” Huma asked unsurely.

Hillary blinked, “What do you mean?”

“He… He was in the building to surprise you…” Huma said turning to look outside the car.

Hillary opened her mouth to say something but then she was already reaching for the door and hopped out of the car. Huma immediately followed.

“Huma!” She called, her pace-hurried as she went back to the building. “What do you mean that Bill is inside?”

“He arrived earlier to surprise you. He informed me not to allow the team to say anything about his arrival.”

Hillary turned to her, her heart thumping inside her chest wondering why Bill did not make an appearance if he intended to surprise her.

“So where is he?”

Huma led her to a room that was next to the room that Hillary and Michael had their last meeting with the team.

“I left him here,” Huma said opening the door.

Hillary got inside, looking around and finding an empty room. She walked further inside until she stood in the middle of the room and noticed that the room had a tainted sliding door connected to the room that they occupied earlier. She stood there facing the door and realized that if Bill was standing where she was standing he would have a view of what was transpiring in the other room where they had their team’s last meeting.

She gasped and pressed her hand on her mouth. Did Bill see her and Michael close to each other?

She turned and her eyes landed on a bin with a bouquet inside. She approached it and took out a bouquet of hydrangeas. She brought it with her and then met Huma outside.

“Was he carrying this?” She asked Huma looked at the flowers that she was carrying.

“Yeah, he was carrying that.”

Hillary gave Huma the bouquet and she turned - looking around.

“Did... “ She shook her head, “Did he arrive with his team?”

“No, he arrived with just a single security detail.”

Hillary called his number as she returned to her car. She was worried about what he could have seen earlier. She needed to talk to him. If Bill misinterpreted whatever he saw, it would further add to their misunderstanding.

She continued to call him but he wasn’t answering his phone.

“Did he tell you where he is staying?”

“I don’t think he has any plans in staying because he intended to take you home tonight.”

Hillary looked outside the car while her mobile was still pressed against her ear.

“Come on, Bill. Answer the phone,” She said particularly to no one. If she was not mistaken, she believed that it was unlikely for Bill not to show up so she made the conclusion that whatever he saw in that room made him flee.

When they arrived in the hotel, Hillary hurried back to her room. “Huma, tell the team that we are heading back to New York. Also, please continue contacting Bill. I am going to start packing.”

She took her keys and unlocked the door. She turned the knob and stopped on her tracks when she saw Bill inside standing next to the window looking outside.

“Bill!” She greeted.

No response.

_Knock_

_Knock_

_Knock_

She turned around to the knocking of the door, she initially hesitated to open but then the knocking continued so she opened the door and found Huma outside, she told her aide: “Bill’s here, I’ll let you know when we will leave,” and then she closed the door without waiting for any response.

After she locked the door, she turned to look at Bill who remained standing and silent. She watched his back, his hands on his waist.

She hesitated to approach him because this version of Bill reminded her of the kind of cold person that she met in India.

She cleared her throat before she spoke, “I’ve been calling you…I didn’t know that you are here.”

She watched his back moved as he heaved a sigh. She approached him slowly until she was standing behind him. “I heard you were in the conference earlier…”

She looked down at his hand that was on his waist and reached for it and gently held it.

“Please, talk to me…” She pleaded, pressing her forehead against his back.

There was just silence, she was afraid that he wouldn't talk to her at all. She knew she hurt him and wish she didn't. _Oh, God, why does this kind of event continues to happen to them?_ She thought.

She felt her throat closed, her eyes stinging. She sniffed, and then she felt the muscles on his back moved as he heaved a sigh again.

“You know why I am here?” He asked, his voice rough.

Hillary pulled her head back and looked at the wall of back, “No.”

It was then that he turned to face her. Hillary looked at his bleak eyes, it was like as if he lost his hope.

“I am here because I want to see you at your happiest, Hillary,” Bill confessed.

“Then why didn't you show up?”

He pulled his hand that she was holding, “I already saw what I wanted to see.”

“Bill—” She said reaching for his hand but he pulled away.

He rubbed his temples, and heard her say, “I don't know what you have seen…”

He looked at her, “I've seen enough, Hillary.”

“What do you mean?”

Bill looked at her, his vision blurred as his tears collected on his eyes, “I am leaving.”

Hillary looked at him surprised that he made that decision so suddenly, “What do you mean you are leaving?”

“I've made a decision, Hillary…” He looked at her, pulled his lower lip back with his teeth, then shook his head. “You deserve to choose the kind of life you want, something that is yours.”

Hillary stepped back and looked at him. “I don't get it ... what are you saying?”

“I've talked to Michael… And I've never met anyone who loves so selflessly… He called me after he took you back to your room last night. He told me how you are… I was angry that you got drunk but he told me that you are safe and he apologized that you couldn't answer the call… He didn't have to do that, but he did. He did it and made me promise not to call in the morning to castigate you for not returning the call. He did not want me to upset you because he cared so much about you and your happiness.”

He looked at the wall behind her head. “I've done a lot of thinking, and I realized that I've been selfish. I always took you for granted.” He turned his head to her and looked at her eyes. “I'm trying to change, Hillary. But I guess it's too late. I couldn't even gain your trust. I've done enough damage. I've hurt you enough.”

Hillary opened her mouth to say something but closed it again too overwhelmed to say anything.

“I want you to be happy, Hillary,” He added. 

He reached for her hand and placed something in the middle of her palm. It felt cold against her skin. She opened her palm, her eyes widened as she saw his gold wedding ring in the middle of her hand.

“I want you to be happy,” he repeatedly say, “So I'm letting you go, Hillary.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the encouragement! Your message meant a lot and really got me thinking that I shouldn't listen to what my anxiety keeps on telling me. LOL. But thank you. I appreciate it. :)
> 
> *sigh* I miss Hillary - as always.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG HAHAHA I POSTED ON A WRONG FIC. lmao.
> 
> Not Beta'd. Updated using my phone. Apologies on any mistakes. But thanks for those who already left a comment 😊

Hillary looked at the golden wedding ring that was on her palm, feeling her heart break by how easily he gave up. She looked up at him, “Why are you giving this to me?” she asked, voice shook.

Bill looked at her, “I told you, I want you to be happy.”

Hillary narrowed her eyes at him, “And separating will make me happy?”

Bill spread his arms on the side, “What do you want me to say?” 

His response infuriated her.

“I don't know, what do you want to say?” She asked with a hint of edge on her tone. She shifted on her stand - too agitated by the moment. 

“Hillary, I've seen you with Michael -”

“And?” She snapped.

Bill looked at her, hoping he could decipher what was in her mind. He sighed and thought to confess it all: “I think he is a good man.”

“Well, yes, he is, so?” 

“Exactly, my point.”

“And that is?” 

Bill shook his head. “I think you should consider being with him.”

Hillary looked at him, with her mouth slightly open. She couldn't believe that she was hearing this from Bill and that he was pushing her to someone like as if she did not have a mind of her own to decide.

“Why do would you even say that? After all we've be through -”

“I am ashamed, Hillary!” He snapped. His chest expanded as he looked at her with pleading eyes.

Hillary quieted.

Bill brushed his hair with his fingers. “I am so ashamed of the kind of person I've been. I kept on comparing myself to Michael, and I've certainly a no-match to him.”

He paced, “For the past few months, I've been so remorseful of the things that I did to you.” He turned, unable to face her. “I couldn't stop nagging myself of how badly I treated you.” He turned to her then reached for her hand, “I've seen you with Michael earlier and how comfortable you both are to each other…” He shook his head, “I thought that the only way I can redeem myself is to give you that liberty to choose if you still want me or you want a new life with someone else, with someone who did not disappoint you.” He cupped her face, “I love you, Hillary...I should have loved you better when I could, and giving you this freedom is the way I can redeem myself."

Hillary choked back her tears as she gazed up at him. She saw Bill's glassy eyes, the remorse and pain in them was undeniable. He was making the sacrifice of setting her free so she could choose - if she wanted to - to be with Michael. But what he did not understand was that she made the decision already even before he even said anything about him leaving.

She saw Bill leaned and gave her a kiss on her forehead, “Think about it,” he said, and then leaved.

***

2000, New York, New York

“I'll be leaving now, Hillary,” Bill said on her doorway, clutching his handbag. He stood on the doorway as if he couldn't wait to leave.

Except he wasn't ready to leave.

He was waiting for her to stop him. He turned and left counting the steps he was taking deliberately thinking and wishing for her to tell him not to go. He didn't say it. He wanted her to want him around.

***

Hillary turned her head to Bill who was heading out of the door. Something just snapped inside of her, reminding her of their argument before.

_"Why didn't you stop me, Hillary?" He asked._

“No!” Hillary shouted.

Bill turned, and she went to him even with her knees shaking. “Not again,” She said shaking her head. Her tears were running down her cheek.

“I will not let you walk away again like how you walked away from me three years ago. No. Never.” She said still shaking her head.

She looked up at him with anger in her eyes. “I know why you are doing this,” She said spitting the words. “You think you are making a sacrifice by setting me free,” she reached for his shirt pulling him closer. “But no, what you are doing is dumb, pointless, and stupid.”

Bill spread his arms, “Why?” He asked gently, reaching to cup her face, wiping her tears.

“Because if you really love someone, if you really love me, you will fight for me.” She said, reiterating the words, making sure that he understood what she said. “You will fight for me. For our family. For this marriage.” She reached for his hand, tugging it, and clumsily started sliding his wedding ring back. Bill watched her do it.

“I will fight you, so help me, God. I will drag you back here in this bedroom if you take one step outside.” She looked up at him, and saw that he was crying too in spite of his smile. “Do you understand me?” She asked. 

“Why?” He asked.

Hillary clumsily wiped her tears. “I love you, Bill.” She took a deep breath. “I love you so much, Bill, and that's why.”

“But Hillary… What I've done to you?” 

She laid her palm on his cheek, “I've forgiven you.”

“Hillary…” 

“I've accepted your flaws," She brushed his hair on the side. "But you have to help me - help you, okay?" 

He nodded. Bill was transfixed by the soothing messages that she said, by her coaxing voice. 

She pulled him closer until they were nose to nose, "Michael might've not disappointed me yet, but he couldn't make me feel the way you do."

He opened his mouth, but Hillary brushed her lips against his, "Stop feeling ashamed, I've forgiven you… I have accepted you."

"Hill…" Bill sighed as Hillary captured his lips.

The kiss was sweet that brought shivers down his spine. Hillary gently framed his face kissing him. "Don't ever push me away again, Bill."

Bill looked at her and she continued, "Because I will keep on coming back to you."

Bill smiled and crushed his lips against hers, kissing her with such thoroughness and gentleness. He pulled back, "I don't know how you do it, but I am glad to be married to you."

Hillary smiled in return holding him close to her, "You do not give up on someone you love, Billy. You help them." 

Bill nodded kissing her forehead and holding her - grateful that she was a fighter. She was his fighter. "Are you ready to go home?"

Hillary smiled and reached for his hand kissed their wedding ring, "Only if you take me to bed after."

Bill chuckled, "You don't even have to demand, I intend to."

She encircled her arms around his neck, "Then take me home now, honey."


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta and updated using my phone - Apologies on any mistakes.

Hillary raised her hand looking at the diamond ring that sparkled before her. It was too grand but Bill bought it for her after she slid back his wedding ring in his finger. He wanted her to wear it because he wasn't able to give her a beautiful one when they got married. 

She didn't really want it initially, but he pleaded her to take it, "I can't find something that will equate your love," he told her when he got it for her. "But I thought that this might suffice." 

"You don't have to, Bill…" She said as she looked down on her hands and observed the huge diamond.

He smiled, pleased and pressed a kiss on her ear and whispered, "Besides that, I hope to see you naked wearing nothing but that ring."

She felt her cheeks heated as he gazed at her possessively.

When they got back home, they didn't waste time and spent their night warming their bed. Even though they've made love a hundred times the way they both craved each other couldn't be quenched. She always yearned for him, always needed his touch and kisses. Bill, on the other hand, wanted to show her all the love he could give. He showed it by how he made love to her - feeding her of his attention, giving all what he had to tell her that he loved her so much.

After spending the night sated and content, she settled in his arms with her head on his chest and his arms around her. He brushed her hair and kissed her temple, "Still not used to seeing it on your finger?" 

She smiled and draped her arm back across his chest, she rubbed her cheek on his skin and smiled against it, "I am still trying to get used to it."

Bill smiled, and rubbed her hair. "Do you remember doctor Burman?" 

"Yes."

"He will be here."

She propped herself up to look at him, even without saying, Bill read her mind that she was worried that having Burman around might mean that he would be away from her again.

"And?" She asked cautiously.

He brushed her short hair. He loved her hair, a lot of people had an opinion of it, but none of it mattered to him, "I will be seeing him tomorrow."

She just gazed at him waiting for him to continue, and it made Bill chuckled. "I am not going anywhere, if you are worried that seeing him might mean that I will return to India."

Her mouth formed an O - relieved that he wasn't going anywhere. She gave a short nervous laugh, but then sighed when Bill ran his hand on her back - soothing her nerves. "It's not that I am being too possessive of you, but I just got you back and almost lost you so I prefer for you to be around so we can work on our marriage."

Bill gave her a lopsided smile, "I appreciate that, also, the reason why I am telling you is because I thought to share things with you moving forward. I really want to have a transparency between us," he brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers, "I really want to become a better husband for you."

Hillary's face straightened and she reached to drop a kiss on his lips, "Thank you for making that effort for me."

Bill smiled, "Wait, let me get some water."

Hillary moved as Bill rolled out of the bed naked. She propped on her elbows as she watched him walk towards the table in the corner of the room where a pitcher and a glass of water was sitting. She watched in leisure as he walk away. She unconsciously bit her lower lip watching him move, his strut purposeful, every bit about him exudes power and confidence, his thighs thick from his run, his calves were shapely, his shoulders strong, and his buttocks firm.

Bill's back stretched as he reached for a pitcher and poured the glass with the water. "I will be meeting Burman by lunch. I hope to get back just in time for dinner."

He turned with the glass mid-way to his lips. Hillary gave him a head-to-toe look that did not escape him. He knew what she wanted, she only have to lock her gaze with him that sent a delicious ache in his thighs making him already half-hard.

He placed back the glass on the table without taking his eyes off hers, he wiped the water from his mouth with the back of his hand as he gave her an arched brow and asked, "Something on your mind?" 

Hillary slightly opened her mouth, but then smiled at him saucily with her mouth a little pursued. "I'll tell you, come here," She said breathlessly as she raised the back of her forefinger curling them inward beckoning him to come closer. 

Bill didn't have to be called because he was too willing to come closer, Hillary was too tempting as she lay there naked under the warm comforter, her skin clear and still had that "after-glow", her cheeks pink, and her lips red.

He came closer until he was standing next to the bed just as she crawled until she reached the edge facing him. Hillary looked up as he stood before her.

"Is there something you need?" Bill asked looking at her.

Hillary placed both of her hands on the side of his waist pulling him closer until she was facing his erection. She gazed up at him and reached for his hardened member making him groan, "I think it is you who needs something."

Bill looked down at her and closed his eyes but not before he saw her took his length into her mouth.

***

"Darlin', it's seven in the morning." Bill said as he sat on the edge of the bed next to Hillary who was still asleep.

"Do I really have to wake up this early?" She asked turning over to look at him, her eyes still closed. "We slept past three in the morning."

Bill chuckled, slightly embarrassed that he kept her awake.

He leaned to nuzzle her cheek, "Believe me when I say that I really want you to take all the sleep that you want but Chel made some breakfast."

The mere mention of her daughter's name made Hillary open her eyes - fully awake.

"Get dressed we will wait for you," Bill said and gently tapped the tip of her nose.

Hillary joined Bill and Chelsea after she got dressed. Chelsea and Bill were discussing about her masteral when she joined them.

"Ma!" Chelsea called, she was about to leave her seat when Hillary waved at her - a sign to tell her not to stand. Hillary, instead, went to her and kissed her cheeks.

Bill was watching her with a smile on his face.

Chelsea looked at both of them grinning as Bill touched Hillary's arm when she reached him. He said something inaudible - almost a whisper that made Hillary giggle then she took her seat next to him. 

"Wow, you guys surpassed my expectation," Chelsea remarked.

Both Bill and Hillary looked at her, "What do you mean, Honey?" Hillary asked as she reached for the pancake.

Chelsea smiled and went to them spreading her arms to drape it on her parents shoulders as she pulled them both for a hug, "I am just happy that you both are getting along really well."

"Oh, Honey, you know that your dad and I will always try to work things together," Hillary said resting her head on Chelsea's hand and then she reached to hold Bill's hand.

The three of them spent some time together until Bill had to leave to meet Burman. Hillary walked with him until he reached his service car.

"So where do you want to have our dinner?" 

"I have a reservation, I will pick you up here by five?" 

"Alright," Hillary responded as she leaned to give him a quick kiss on the lips.

Hillary did some work until late in the afternoon. She looked at the watch and since she still had a time, she thought to stretch her legs by taking a quick walk in the woods.

She brought Buddy with her as some of her agent went with her too. She was walking along the same path that she and Bill used to take smiling to herself of how they progressed. She sat at the bench overlooking the pond remembering their conversation that they shared together. 

"Senator Clinton."

Hillary turned to look at the unexpected visitor and found herself looking at Eve Mathews.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! About to be finished. Thank you so much for keeping up with me. I cannot wait to finish. Hehe 😊


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - read at your own risk

"Senator Clinton."

Hillary turned to the caller and found herself looking at Eve Mathews who was standing a few steps behind her.

Hillary stood and looked at her. Eve returned the same curious stare and then decided to approached her. She walked to her with hesitation in her pace.

"I… I am Eve Mathews," She said when she reached Hillary. She extended her hand.

Hillary took her hand and shook it. "We have met before, Miss Mathews."

"Yes, at the gala. I was with my husband." Eve supplied unsurely, "I am not sure if you remember me because our encounter was brief."

Hillary was about to reply, but then their attention diverted when they both heard a boy called and said: "Mommy!"

They both turned to the kid who was running with his dog following him. Eve looked at her apologetically then turned to her son and murmured something.

Hillary looked at both of their reddish hair. Eve's hair was more striking than her - who she assumed - her son. Eve straightened holding her son and turned to Hillary.

"This is my son Thomas Mathews, Senator" Eve said.

Hillary crouched and extended her hand to shake Tom's hand, in which the child accepted.

"Nice to meet you, Mister Mathews," Hillary said still shaking Tom's hand. "I am Hillary Clinton."

"Nice to meet you," He said shyly, then he looked at Eve and she nodded at him letting him go to enjoy.

Hillary looked at Tom with his dog running around.

"Do you usually go walking here?" Eve asked.

Hillary turned her head to look at her, "No... Well, I don't really walk here in the woods, not until my husband arrived."

"Mister Clinton…" Eve said.

"Have you both been introduced?" Hillary asked curiously.

Eve looked at her and then tucked a stray hair that flew across her face. "We bumped to each other… here in the woods…few times here…"

Hillary kept a straight face waiting for her to continue, "You husband, The President, Mister Clinton is really friendly, he told me a lot about you…"

"He did?"

Eve looked down at the tips of her boots and then glanced back at her, "Yes, he talks about you a lot." Eve sighed and waited for a while before adding. "I am not sure if you remember but the night that we met at the gala, I didn't have a chance to talk to you."

"Oh, I do remember. No one will forget your striking red hair."

Eve's cheeks reddened, and she unconsciously touched her hair, then she shook her head. "I'm sorry about that evening."

Hillary's eyes narrowed, "Why are you apologizing?" 

Eve shrugged, "I think my silence might have been unwelcoming."

Hillary smiled but turned her head to look at Eve's son running, "It is okay, Miss Mathews. I think there isn't a time to talk then."

Eve pursued her lips, "No, not only because there wasn't a time... you see, Senator, I was too star-struck when Henry introduced you to me. I am really a big fan."

Hillary glanced back to Eve, surprised. Did she misunderstand Eve's silence then and misinterpreted her silence as a snob?

"I have been following you since you are the First Lady. When you moved here to New York, I was so thrilled. My dearest husband, Henry, he introduced us because he knows that I am a fan…" She grinned at her, "I was too star-struck I didn't know what to say."

Hillary suddenly felt guilty knowing that she misunderstood Eve.

"The President told me a lot about you and… When I saw you here, I have summoned the courage to approach you. He told me that you will love to meet a fan."

Hillary looked at her hopeful eyes, as she added, "I hope you do not mind if I drop by at your house and give you some pastry. Tom and I have been doing a lot of baking to cope when we lost Henry. We usually ended up baking too many pastries."

Hillary opened her mouth as if to say something but she felt so terrible for her baseless assumption that she ended up reaching for Eve's hand, "Please drop by at my place anytime, and if you can, I hope you can have dinner with us. I know we are neighbors and I like to get to know you and your son."

Eve looked at her, her eyes glassy, "Thank you, Senator Clinton."

"Can I give you a hug?" Hillary asked.

Eve laughed and stretched her arms as Hillary gave her a friendly embrace.

***

**New York, New York | Afternoon**

Bill leaned back against the chair as Doctor Burman told him of the updates of his project in India. Burman told him that what Bill started was flourishing on its own under the hands of his team and that the locals were grateful for his help.

"But will you be returning to India? The people there miss you," Burman said as he stirred his coffee and looked at him.

Bill rubbed his lips, but before he could respond, Burman responded for him: "Naah, with the look in your eyes, I guess you will not be returning to India."

Bill gave a self-deprecating smile, "It's not that I don't want to, it's just that…"

Burman waved his hand dismissively, "I can see it in your eyes, Billy. You and your wife must be getting along."

Bill bit his lips before responding. "I don't want to lose it all again, Burman."

"You know, even though, I hope for you to return to India, I think it's best that you stay here with your family." Burman leaned back, "I saw what happened to you. It scared me. I don't think I would be able to forgive myself if you something happened to you in Himachal Pradesh."

Bill smiled, "I know the limitations that we have there, I wouldn't blame you."

"Baaah," Burman said dismissively, "Look at you now, Billy. You changed a lot. You are no longer as thin. You look healthy and vibrant. Your wife took good care for you."

Bill reached the back of his neck to rub it, slightly embarrassed. "Hillary healed me in ways that no one can." He shook his head, "Words cannot describe how grateful I am for her. She is amazing, Burman. I don't even think that I deserve her."

"Why is that?"

Bill looked at his unfinished coffee, "Well, you know what happened..."

"Yeah, I do know, so?"

Bill shrugged, "That makes me undeserving."

"If Hillary thinks that you are worth it - then you are."

Bill looked at him and smiled solemnly, "Thank you for saying that."

***

**Chappaqua, New York | Late in the Afternoon**

When it was Bill's time to pick up Hillary, he made sure he looked good. He really wanted to look good for her. He also bought some flowers. He just arrived and was about to open the door when the front door of their home was pulled open and Hillary threw her arms around him.

"Welcome home," Hillary greeted kissing his cheek.

Bill grinned at her, "Wow, with this kind of enthusiasm, I will be inspired to go home early."

Hillary grinned back, her arms still circled around his neck, "Don't joke like that I might take you seriously."

Bill chuckled before he leaned and gave her a quick kiss.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Yep!" Hillary responded.

When they both got inside the car, Hillary sat next to him and Bill draped his arm over her shoulders.

"So where are you taking me?"

"If I tell you where I am going to take you then it will no longer be a surprise."

Hillary playfully raised a brow, "Point taken." She settled comfortably in Bill's embrace then remembered to share to him her encounter with Eve. "Before we get to your surprise, I want you to know that earlier, I have the chance to talk to Eve."

Bill looked down at her, "Really?"

"Yes, I was sitting on the bench near the pond when she arrived and greeted me."

"Greeted you?" Bill echoed - still surprised, "The last time that we talked she said that she was shy to approach you."

Hillary looked down on her hands, "Yes, I realized that when she said that she was star-struck when we first met."

She looked up at him, "I've made baseless conclusions when you initially mentioned that you met her. I'm ashamed that I thought that way because I didn't trust you enough. I was too suspicious about you meeting women. In doing so, I've also made wrongful conclusions." She looked up at him with glassy eyes. "I didn't know she loved her husband, and that she was still grieving for their loss. I feel so horrible, Bill."

Bill's eyes softened, and then he pressed his lips against her temple - comforting her. "You're only human, it's okay."

She shook her head, "I'm so sorry too."

Bill nodded then he leaned and kissed the top of her head. "It's okay. It's my fault. You will not think that way if I did not do something stupid." He rubbed the pad of his thumb on the smooth skin at the back of her hand that he was holding. "You know, when you took me back, I told myself that I will do my best to become a good husband - someone you deserve, Hillary." He looked at her, "I want to be a good husband this time, Hillary."

"Well, I want to be a good wife for you."

Bill gave her a lopsided smile and brushed her cheek, "You already are."

Hillary opened her mouth to say something, but then she closed it and instead she leaned and gave him a sweet kiss. "I will help you, and please help me too."

"I will, my Love, I will."

Bill embraced her, feeling content and satisfied in his life. He felt at peace now that they were both heading towards a new chapter in their lives. He swore to himself that _this time_ he wouldn't disappoint her again - that he would be a better partner for her. He would love and take care of her from that moment until their last breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I'm done. Apologies that it took me a while to post this because I've been really busy.  
> Anyway, I'm ending this fic in this chapter. I think I can do away without the epilogue (but let me know if you want!)  
> I am so thankful for all of your support. I will not be able to continue without your encouragements.


	25. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Beta - Read at your own risk.  
> Also, this is a combination of canon and not. Please do not mind the inconsistencies.

**May 2019 | Chappaqua, New York**

Bill looked at his watch. Audemars Piguet. More specifically the Jules Audemars Chronograph in Rose Gold that Hillary gave him as a Christmas gift just last year. He turned his head to the tainted window beside him as the service car take a turn towards his home.

It was mother's day then, he was supposed to be spending the night with Hillary but had to pass when he received an important message related to the solar panels that his foundation was working on. Hillary understood the importance of his meeting, hence she let him go with humor saying that he should be home early.

While she was easy about it, he made it up to her by celebrating mother's day with the whole family during lunch. He made the arrangement so that all she had to do was enjoy the afternoon with their family.

Over the years, after they got back together, life was anything but easy. The false stories never stopped: The allegations of Bill philandering never waned. The stories of Hillary having a lesbian lover emerged. The whispered gossip of them divorcing was the talk of the nation, but they knew better. They know each other. Their enemies might try to take them down - to separate them, but Bill and Hillary was a team forged to be together.

They were unitedly through the worst and they persevered.

It wasn't easy, but it was a fight worth fighting for. After Hillary's success in Senate, she told him that she would be running for President - which Bill supported fiercely. He knew she would be the best person to lead the country after Bush's term. They fought hard, but then things did not happen according to their plan.

She was devastated, but she understood that she needed to put things into perspective and accepted the fact that the Presidential Democratic candidate for 2008 was Barack Obama.

It was a tough pill to swallow. Bill shared her pain. He was there for her. He held her, kissed her. He gave her the comfort that she needed. She grieved for a while but then she fought back and supported Barack - because it was what the country needed.

Barack Obama won.

Bill and Hillary were happy that the Presidency was under the leadership of a Democrat again who would bring back the glory that America lost.

When Barack won, Bill and Hillary thought it was time for them to settle down, to focus on what they could do as a citizen and give their energy to their family. But then, Barack wanted Hillary to become a Secretary of State.

They both took their time to decide whether or not Hillary would accept it. She initially didn’t want to, but then Barack urged her - taking ‘No’ for an answer.

Hillary and Bill talked about it. Bill knew that her love for her country was just as great as her love for their family. Bill knew that it would only be a matter of time for her to accept Barack's offer.

When she did, he wasn’t at all surprised. He supported her in spite of the fact that being a Secretary of State would mean that she would be mostly away.

It reminded them both of their separations back in 2000 when he flew to India. It was the longest time that they both away from each other and then they had that situation wherein her taking a post a Secretary of State would mean that they would be away from each other. But the 2000 event, kind of prepared them for that moment.

“It’s okay, Darling. I completely understand the nature of your work,” Bill said one night, the day before her meeting with Barack. He was sitting on the bed with his back against the bedrest. He looked at Hillary standing next to the window looking.

“I know you understand the nature of my work,” she turned to look at him, “I am worried if this is what I really want.”

Bill smiled softly and watched as she turned around and looked beyond the window. He got out of the bed and went to join her. He embraced her from behind, his arms snaking across her body. “I think you already know what you want, you are just worried about us.”

She sighed, and turned to him, “We’re not getting young ... after the election and Barack won, I told myself that I can now finally focus on my family.”

Bill pressed his lips on her forehead, “I know what your heart wants...it’s always to serve the country.”

She pulled back to look at him, a helpless look in her eyes because she was completely torn between her love for her family and her country.

“I will always be here whatever path you take,” he assured her.

After her discussion with Barack, she finally made a decision, she would accept his offer.

Hillary’s work as Secretary of State was as demanding as ever. She was usually away - going from one country to another - building the relationship that the Bush administration had damaged. She was so popular because of her tenacity and her effectivity as the Secretary of State.

Bill returned working on their Foundation. He worked just as hard trying to fill his days with work. The nights were the hardest because he would find himself alone in their bedroom. Even though he never said it, Hillary could feel it. In order for her to alleviate his loneliness, she would spend the night calling him.

It was funny because sometimes they would hang-on the line even though they were working on their own work and they were listening to each other breathe at the end of the line.

Hillary only promised one-term and so when she reached her first term, she was glad to be back home.

“I’m all yours this time,” she said grinning at him when she went home that night. Her arms around him as Bill had his wrapped around her.

“You’ve always been mine,” He said kissing the tip of her nose.

Time went by and they watched many sunset and sunrise together. Their family even grew with new grandchildren: Charlotte and Aidan. It filled their lives with new purpose, dreams, and hope.

When Barack’s term ended, Hillary knew it was her time to run as a President. She wanted to because there was so much to be done. Besides, she wanted to make sure that her grandchildren and the rest of America’s grandchildren would have the best future ahead of them. She wanted to continue what the Democrats had started ever since Bill’s term. She had so many hopes for the future.

Until the result of the election did not turn out the way it should be. Her team waited for her. Hillary, being a strong person she was, squared her shoulders. She was devastated and even heartbroken.

Bill held her and told her how proud he was of her. He whispered to her how much he loved her. She held on to him, allowed him to be the rock this time.

She prayed because she was afraid of what the future might hold. She told Bill of her fears and Bill held her because he was afraid of what was to come too, but he reminded her that there was no time to be afraid. She needed to be strong because there were sixty million people who believed in her.

She should still be their beacon of hope.

She conceded with strength but with an internal fire within her telling her that her concession was not the end of it. In fact, it was just the beginning for her.

She might not have become the President, but she became an activist.

Bill watched her deliver a speech with admiration from afar. The Presidency might have been stolen from her but it never stole her courage and strength to continue fighting for the country. And people appreciated her for it. Everywhere they go, people showed their appreciation for her by giving her standing ovations and cheering for her.

There was so much love for her.

“Sir,” the secret service said as he opened the door for him, taking his mind back to the present time.

Bill reached for the bouquet of flowers that he bought on the way home. He alighted the car and nodded to the agents as he made his way towards the door of his house.

It was already past nine in the evening, and knowing her routine, Hillary would be in their bedroom already either working or reading. However, he would put his bet that she was probably working on her upcoming speech.

However, as he got nearer he could hear muffled voices inside their bedroom and he already smiled. He knew that she was spending time with Charlotte. When he reached their bedroom, he softly turned the knob hoping that it wouldn't create a sound and gently pushed the door open.

He was right, she was with their grandchildren. Charlotte on her left and a sleeping Aidan on her right. They were both progressing on Chelsea's book: She Persisted.

Charlotte was all ears as Hillary read the book but they both looked up when Bill made his presence known.

"Pop-Pop!" Charlotte greeted loudly stirring Aidan from his sleep. Hillary got out of the bed and went to him following Charlotte as she hurriedly went to Bill.

Bill crouched waiting for Charlotte to come to him, and when she did, he scooped her up in his arms.

"And why are you still awake, Sweetheart?" He asked her.

Charlotte burrowed her face in his neck, "Waiting for you," she said.

Bill kissed her cheek, then he looked at Hillary who stood next to him. He extended his other hand holding the bouquet and handed her the flower.

“Happy Mother’s Day,” Bill whispered before giving her a quick kiss.

“Thank you,” Hillary responded looking up at him and touching his cheek.

"How are you?" Bill asked in a hushed tone, his eyes locking with hers.

They spoke in a hushed tone as Aidan was sleep on the bed and Charlotte was starting to fall asleep on Bill's arms.

"I'm fine. She was waiting for you," Hillary said as she took the flowers from him.

Bill turned his head, Charlotte's baby scent tickled his nostrils. He dropped a kiss on Charlotte's cheek.

Chelsea asked if Bill and Hillary could look after Charlotte and Aidan just for the night so she and Mark, her husband, could spend the time alone together. Chelsea didn't even have to ask because Hillary was crazy about her grandchildren.

"Are they sleeping here?" Bill asked in a hushed tone.

"Of course," Hillary responded as if it was obvious.

Bill shook his head smiling. He knew her answer before he even asked. Their grandchildren would always be her priority. She would drop whatever she was doing to give them her attention. When their grandchildren would spend the night with them it would be rare that the children would be sleeping in their own bedroom. And Bill loved her for that. She was the best mother and grandmother. She loved fiercely and he could attest that. The years they spent together made Bill understand her better, and he was truly glad that he married her.

When she lost the election, she was crushed. But it was his turn to show her love and affection. He gave his full attention to her, comforted her, and fought for her. He told her before that he wanted to think that her loss was a kind of a blessing in disguise for him. She wrinkled her nose, not at least pleased with what she heard for him. Bill's eyes softened and told her: America had you for decades, the next few ones are mine.

He gave her his all, and it showed - she was vibrant, beautiful, and at peace. The love of his life.

"Hey, is something wrong?" Hillary asked as she noticed that he was staring at her for a while.

Bill broke in a chuckle and said meaningfully, "No, this time… Everything is perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the past few fics. Also, I wrote this one as some of you asked for me to write the epilogue.   
> I hope I did justice to the story and the ending. 
> 
> I enjoyed writing Bill and Hillary fics, but life has been a bit demanding. I want to write soon again and I hope I can and I hope you are all still there. Thank you! I may not be around here but you can drop by on my [blog](http://theclingtons.tumblr.com) so we can chat sometime (because I will miss you all).


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